


The Proposal

by Sandylee007



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Drama, Idiots in Love, Jealous Alec Lightwood, Love, M/M, Pining, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2019-11-23 08:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 45,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18149615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandylee007/pseuds/Sandylee007
Summary: What if Magnus never did ask again? Instead of stopping Alec’s wedding he accepts a proposal of his own. It’s up to a very much unmarried Alec to stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life. And to convince him that he’s worth the risk, after all.                     MALEC





	1. Two Aching Hearts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Prixdarkheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prixdarkheart/gifts).



> A dear reader made a request. And I was powerless to resist. (grins) So, here we are! Mind you, I won’t start updating this more regularly before April. BUT, that actually quite near. (smiles)
> 
> WARNINGS: SOME CHANGES TO THE CANON TIMELINE AND PLOT DEVELOPMENT. Feels, hurt and pining… Some unpleasant language… You know, the fun stuff. 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: You’re kidding, right? I don’t have the money for that. And if I did, I wouldn’t be a sadist enough to release only one episode per week…
> 
> Okay… Are you ready? It’s go-time! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride!

While Magnus usually enjoyed all parties, weddings had always been… complicated affairs for him. He’d never found someone who would’ve been ready to try spending the rest of their life with him. He imagined that he found as much with Camille, but… Well, that didn’t end exactly the way he would’ve hoped.

Magnus had lost all hope of ever getting to take that step. Until Alec came along and sparked fool’s hope inside him. After his heart had been cold, locked and barren for over a century there was suddenly a Shadowhunter who defied everything the warlock had imagined he knew. On their first meeting Alec protected him and later helped him save the life of another Downworlder.

Almost immediately he could see that Alec was something special. And, the romantic idiot that he was, Magnus entertained hope that perhaps one day the Shadowhunter might be something special for him, too. Perhaps Alec’s heart might be wide open enough for him to fit in. That ridiculous hope was strong enough to live even after he found out that the archer had proposed to someone else. Until it was Alec’s wedding day.

“… you must do everything in your power to fight for it”, the ghost of Ragnor attempted to advise him.

But hadn’t Magnus already fought enough? Time and time again he banged against the walls surrounding Alec’s heart. Attempted to break through. Enough was enough. He’d already lost his best friend and his dignity. When he told Alec that he wouldn’t ask again he meant it.

What was he thinking, anyway? In the end Nephilim always chose to stick to their own kind. Why would Alec have wanted someone who was too much to get used to, too damaged, too wrong?

Magnus was tired, and perhaps he’d lived for so long that the best he could hope for was to be left at peace with his ghosts. He’d closed up his heart once. He could do it again. So he read through the wedding invitation he got from Izzy one last time, then let it burn.

He’d just done that when there was a loud, demanding knock on his door. He opened it swiftly, relieved to have something aside a non-relationship drama to focus on. His improved mood lasted until he saw Robert Lightwood. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” He didn’t even try to hide his sarcasm while letting his unwanted visitor in. “Shouldn’t you be at your son’s wedding?”

“I will head there shortly. There was… something that acquired my attention first.” Their eyes met, their mutual dislike clearly visible. “I’m here as a representative of the Clave. There’s a very important proposal I must urge you to consider.”

Magnus’s eyebrow arched.

/

Not much later Alec stood at the altar. To be honest, he’d never given getting married much thought. Mainly because he’d imagined that he’d never get married. But the way he felt right there… He didn’t think it was how he was supposed to feel.

While Lydia began to walk towards him Alec’s straying mind threw him back to what Magnus said. A fast beating heart… Shortness of breath… Tingling on his skin… He experienced none of that. Unless he thought of the warlock.

He didn’t think it was love. Perhaps it was only lust. In any case Alec realized that he was about to make the biggest mistake of his whole life. Even if his parents just praised how proud they were of him.

Magnus was right, he and Lydia both deserved better than this.

She frowned as soon as she reached the altar and saw the look on his face. “Alec? What’s wrong?”

He shook his head, all too aware of the confused murmurs his gesture provoked among the guests. He hated letting his family down this way. But he would’ve hated himself even more if he went through with the charade. “Lydia, I… I’m so sorry. But… I can’t.”

Lydia should’ve slapped him. Or at least yelled at him. Instead she smiled, only a hint of sadness and disappointment visible. “I understand.” (How could she, when even he didn’t, not properly?) “Alec, you deserve to be happy. Go talk to him.”

And Alec ran. Away from the marriage that would’ve been a prison for them both. Away from his parents who might disown him for his actions. Away from the shocked guests. And although he ran blindly his heart knew where to go.

He should’ve listened to it sooner…!

It took infuriatingly long before he reached Magnus’s apartment building. By the time stood behind the warlock’s door he was breathless for several reasons. He had to compose himself for a while before he managed to knock. His brows furrowed and the cold from before returned with vengeance when the door didn’t open. “Magnus?” he called out. There was no reply. He swallowed thickly. “I… I couldn’t do it. You’re right, there’s no honor in living a lie.” He shifted from discomfort. “Can we… talk abut this inside? Please?” Still nothing.

Alec continued to wait. At first standing up, then sitting down. Every now and then he offered words, which seemed to echo on deaf ears.

Eventually he had to leave, when a message came that a traitor attacked Lydia and stole the Cup, presumably to deliver it to Valentine. Alec cast a last longing look towards the door that refused to open. And walked away with a heavy heart.

The chaos which followed swept him along entirely. But whenever he could he continued to call and message Magnus. To ask for help, if nothing else. None of his attempts was accepted or received.

Alec didn’t know that Magnus’s apartment was empty, and the man’s phone lay abandoned to a table in the living room. The older man didn’t return home until Catarina’s fire-message gossiped that Alec and the others encountered Camille. Suddenly Magnus wished that even his ghosts, the literal and figurative ones alike, would leave him alone.

/

Time passed by torturously slowly and infuriatingly quickly all at once. A new chaos followed the one preceding it. Valentine obtained the Cup. And there was the hurdle of awakening Jocelyn.

Alec expected and hoped that Magnus would be the warlock to help them. Instead Catarina provided her assistance and eventually chanted the necessary spell. The whole time the rest of them were very aware that she kept checking her phone because Magnus was instructing her. Checking in on the progress, making sure that everyone was alright. The cooperation of two warlocks proved to be just enough magic. Jocelyn opened her eyes. 

While everyone else rejoiced the archer’s heart broke. Noticing that Catarina attempted to slip away, he rushed to follow. “Catarina!” He gulped, suddenly embarrassed and insecure. What was he doing…? “Magnus… Is he alright?” _Is he thinking about me?_ he would’ve asked if he would’ve managed to squeeze it out.

Catarina’s face betrayed nothing. But he saw hints of apprehension, sorrow and pity in her eyes. “No, he’s not okay”, she admitted in a sigh. “And that’s all I can tell you about him.”

Alec nodded dejectedly. He understood, even if he didn’t like it. “Can you… tell him that I still want to talk to him? There’s…” He shook his head, unable to articulate his thoughts like he would’ve wanted to. “We need to talk.”

“I’ll tell him that”, Catarina consented. Then proceeded to caution him. “But that’s all I can promise.”

When the warlock left Alec felt a tender hand on her shoulder. Izzy offered him a sad, supportive smile. “Don’t give up yet”, she tried to cheer him up. “Just keep fighting for Magnus, prove to him that he’s worth it. He’ll listen eventually.”

Alec would’ve wanted to believe her. But those words failed to soothe his aching heart. He imagined that things couldn’t get worse. Until Jace left with Valentine. In his haste and despair to save his parabatai Alec stopped calling and messaging Magnus.

Alec didn’t know that Magnus took his sudden silence as a sign that he’d given up.

/

And yet… When the quest to save Jace almost cost Alec’s life and Izzy begged him to help Magnus couldn’t stay away. He was there, using far more magic than he should’ve been able to and urging the Shadowhunter he could’ve loved to hold on. To come back.

Magnus stood in the sidelines when Alec woke up to Jace. He watched the young man’s beautiful eyes open. And said his soundless goodbyes.

It would’ve been so tempting to stay. If Alec hadn’t made it adamantly clear that there was nothing to stay for. Magnus wasn’t worth the risk. As soon as the archer would overcome the fleeting confusion that triggered the onslaught of calls and messages he’d remember that once more, too. The warlock wasn’t planning on sticking around for that inevitable rejection. No one noticed that he left, and he convinced himself that it was better that way. While he walked out of the room the warlock’s heart closed up.

What Magnus didn’t know was that someone did notice. Alec turned his head just in time to see his disappearing back. He was gone before the younger man found his voice to call out.

“He was here the whole time”, Clary revealed, smiling. Oblivious to what just took place. “His magic was the only thing that kept your hanging on until Jace got here.”

Despite the euphoria of getting his parabatai back, Clary’s words made Alec want to cry at what just slipped through his fingers.

Once Magnus made it home all the magic he used to save Alec caught up with him and he collapsed. All alone to his living room floor. Never hearing the calls and messages he received.

Almost as soon as he eventually woke up he took his phone to a far from steady hand. And called Robert Lightwood. His announcement was clear and simple. Now that he’d silenced his heart there was no confusion anymore. “I accept the proposal. Arrange a meeting.”

Apparently he’d end up marrying someone, after all.

/

The very next day Alec was shocked when his father asked him to attend to a crucially important meeting. Since his failure of a wedding his parents had been… disappointed. His father disapproved. His mother practically avoided him. The invitation gave him hope that perhaps things were finally starting to work out.

The spark grew stronger at his father’s words. “Remember, this is all unofficial. But Lydia is still away recovering. And as far everyone’s concerned, you are the most suitable candidate to run this Institute. Consider this meeting your chance to prove that you deserve the title.”

Even better than all that was the list of those coming to the meeting.

Izzy found him shortly after. Her eyebrow bounced up. “You’re… smiling.” She sounded so shocked that under different circumstances it would’ve been insulting.

As it was Alec didn’t care. “Magnus is going to be here”, he revealed. This could be his chance to get the warlock to listen and try to fix things.

Little did he know that the meeting would push things from bad to much worse…


	2. For the Greater Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is shocked when he learns about the proposal Magnus accepted. Later Magnus and his future spouse announce their engagement. To receive a variety of reactions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! Wrapping up this chapter took WAY longer than I anticipated. BUT, here I am! Hooray?
> 
> DAAAANG…! SO MANY of you seem excited about this. THANK YOU, a million times, for the BAFFLING amount of comments and love you’ve showered this story with! It means so much more than I can ever say. (HUGS) I REALLY hope that what’s to come meets your expectations!
> 
> Awkay, because stalling is unkind… Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.

Alec wasn’t typically the kind of a person who worried about their appearance. But before the meeting during which he’d finally get to see Magnus again he wasted a ridiculous amount of time on choosing his outfit. And, Angel help him, he rehearsed what he’d say when he’d get the warlock alone in front of a mirror. He’d admit none of that under any amount of torture, of course.

Alec wasted too much time, as it turned out. Because he was late. By the time he entered the meeting room five Clave officials, including his father and Imogen Herondale, were already there. Raphael greeted him with a glare that stung more than it should’ve. Luke seemed just as confused as he felt. There was apprehension and curiosity on Meliorn’s face. Very clearly the Downworlders were all trying to guess what the meeting was about, and possibly wondering if it was some sort of a trap.

Lastly, needing a lot of courage, Alec looked towards Magnus. Aside him the warlock was the only one standing up, in front of a window with his back towards him. The glass’s reflection allowed the archer to see the older man’s face. The blank, resigned expression sent chills down his spine. The whole, admittedly short time he’d known Magnus the man had been nothing but sparkle, life and fire. The guilt and sadness over wondering if he was to blame for this change were almost more than Alec could take without losing his composure.

“Well… Now that we’re finally all present…” Imogen’s verbal jab was pointy. “Let’s get to business.” She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “It’s come to my attention that lately some… regrettable actions have taken place. Meliorn, Raphael, I apologize for the way you have been mistreated.” (Alec wondered with dread just what that meant, because both men tensed up.) “Let me assure you, those responsible will face appropriate consequences for their misjudgments.”

Meliorn smiled wryly. “I do appreciate that.” The seelie’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “Delayed as the apology may be.”

Imogen gritted her teeth so tightly that it made a small sound. She went on after a deep breath. “Valentine’s… unfortunate return has us all and our people on the edge. Which has already led to a great deal of unfortunate decisions, on both sides.” She faced the sharp looks her comment obtained with a steel hard face. “As a result, our diplomatic bonds are more strained than they ever have been since the Accords were first signed. Which is against the befit of everyone involved, because the kind of tensions that linger right now may easily lead to an open war.” That no one in the room even tried to deny as much was an unsettling proof of how close to that boiling point things already were. “To salvage what can still be saved a unique approach is necessary. To prevent a new war, we need a bond of trust and acceptance. A sign that we’re all in this together, fighting on the same side.”

Luke’s eyebrow bounced up. “And… What, exactly, does that mean?”

“A marriage.” Robert darted a rather sharp look towards Alec before continuing. (So his cancelled wedding hadn’t been forgotten or forgiven.) “Between a Downworld leader…” His father’s gaze locked on Magnus’s back like it was a target board. “… and a Clave representative.”

For a long moment, through which Alec was almost certain that his suddenly aching heart remained still, absolute silence lingered while the announcement sunk in. Meliorn was the first to react openly, surprise and vague amusement appearing to his eyes. Luke was clearly taken aback but didn’t ask or judge. Raphael fumed. “Magnus, you can’t seriously consider something this stupid…!”

“I already said yes.” Magnus sounded as hollow as he seemed. “I’ve seen enough bloodshed, war and death. If this helps keep my people and the Downworld safe… Then so be it.”

Alec wanted to scream and protest. Roar out that Magnus couldn’t do this. That the warlock deserved so much better than a marriage of convenience. But his father’s eyes on him silenced him.

Imogen, in turn, seemed pleased to have the deal officially accepted and out in the open. “This is the beginning of a new era of openness, unison and acceptance. This marriage goes against everything Valentine believes in. And in these uncertain times that is exactly what we all need.”

Alec’s eyes, which stung in a manner he hated, went to Magnus’s reflection on the window. He took in the emptiness, the lack of fight. It looked chillingly lot like the warlock had sold his very soul when accepting the proposal.

The horrible meeting seemed to last a lifetime. When it finally ended Magnus left swiftly and Alec hurried after him with a miserable lack of subtlety. Desperate to talk some sense into the man who, little as he liked to admit it, caught his interest when they first lay their eyes on each other.

The warlock had almost reached the elevator by the time Alec called out. “Magnus, wait!” He swallowed thickly when the man peered towards him over his shoulder. He… hadn’t planned further ahead from that point. Which meant that he’d have to go by his gut. And he was miserable at that. “You can’t… You can’t do this!”

Magnus arched one elegant eyebrow. The man turned slowly to face him properly. “I fail to see how who I choose to marry and why would be any of your business.”

Alec snorted bitterly. Too heartbroken and overwhelmed to hold it back. “So, after all that fancy talk about how there’s no honor in living a lie and how I should follow my heart… You pull off a stunt like this?”

He regretted his words the second he saw hurt flash in Magnus’s eyes. And even more when winter-cold steel replaced it. “I’m glad that you and Lydia didn’t go through with the wedding. But Alec, I’m doing this for the sake of all my people! Valentine and his followers have already slaughtered far too many of them. And just a short while ago my oldest friend died in my arms because I basically led a threat to his doorstep.” For a moment raw pain and grief were visible. “I’m not letting down those I’m supposed to protect again.”

Alec’s chest constricted. “Magnus… I’m so sorry about Ragnor. But his death… It wasn’t your fault.” Why couldn’t he say that sooner? Was anyone there for the warlock when he grieved the loss? “If this engagement of yours is some sort of an act of penance…”

“I’m simply taking the best deal I can get under these lousy circumstances.” The look of defeat in Magnus’s eyes was a thousand times worse than those words. “Unless you’re planning on offering me a better one.”

Oh, how Alec wanted to! The urge to kiss Magnus, to tell him that he didn’t have to accept some stranger because he could have him instead… It was overwhelming. But that would’ve been insanity. Because he couldn’t possibly…! “You deserve better”, was all he managed.

Magnus shrugged. “Perhaps I do, perhaps I don’t. Either way, I’m tired of fighting for something I’ll never have.” The acceptance of such an empty, lonely future was the worst part of all. 

Alec realized that he was shaking. He didn’t find his voice until the man he could’ve too easily loved was in the elevator. “Magnus, you were right.” He was desperate to get at least that much out, to have those words sink in. “I do feel what you feel.”

Magnus met his eyes with an infuriatingly unreadable look. “Even if I did believe you… I’d still sincerely hope you didn’t. Because right now… I can’t feel anything. And I don’t want you to be cursed the same way.” The elevator’s doors closed and separated them.

Alec stared at the closed doors helplessly, not noticing the solitary tear that slid down his cheek. Magnus’s heart, the one he cracked open without meaning to, was once more locked. The realization cut like a blade.

/

Magnus felt every single one of the years he’d lived when the following morning forced him to attend to another, far larger meeting. Outside a pair of massive doors he froze, spotting a man waiting for him. For a second, just one, he felt something once more. His heart thudded.

The person awaiting looked so much like Alec that it was ridiculous. Young, albeit not as young as the archer… Tall, if slightly shy of the other Shadowhunter’s frame… But also dark haired and good looking. The most striking difference was that the eyes looking his way were blue. And admired him openly as he approached. This man was utterly at peace with who and what he was, with what he wanted.

The Shadowhunter took a step closer. “I thought that it might be a good idea to get the introductions out of the way before the meeting.” A small but genuine smile was offered his way. “I’m Mikael Darkfall.”

Magnus did his best to return the smile. If this man was actually willing to be roped into a marriage with him, being polite was the least he could do. “Magnus…”

“… Bane. I know. You look exactly like I remembered.” (Which, apparently, was a good thing.) Mikael went on at his frown of confusion. “I wasn’t expecting you to remember, after all this time.”

Magnus’s curiosity was piqued. But just then the doors in front of them opened and Imogen peered out, appearing impatient. “Let’s begin, shall we? Before things get heated in here.”

The sight Magnus encountered inside was a testament to why he had to do what he was currently doing. On opposite sides of the enormous room large numbers of Shadowhunters and warlocks stood glaring at each other. Mistrust was so thick in the air that a knife wouldn’t have been enough to cut through it.

As expected, the reactions to the news were… colorful. Some seemed happy, far more disbelieving. And then there were those who seemed ready to tear off someone’s head. “Bane, what the hell?” one of his warlocks snarled. “How can you even consider marrying a N…?”

Magnus didn’t feel comfortable with revealing his cat eyes in front of the current audience, but his glare spoke volumes. “Baz, do you recall what happened the previous time you disrespected me?” The younger warlock blanched and went silent. “I imagined you might. Now do something smart for a change and keep your mouth shut.” He then focused on the whole crowd. “This is why I accepted the proposal. Under the current circumstances we can’t afford to be fighting each other, or Nephilim. We have the same enemy. And that enemy is Valentine.”

“Why should we trust Shadowhunters when Valentine was one of them?” someone demanded.

“And why should I trust warlocks?” Mikael challenged. “When I was six three of them killed my parents, right in front of my eyes. They would’ve killed me, too.” The young man’s words were enough to silence the room momentarily. “I still dream about that. Every single night. But… I also remember the warlock who came to save me.” Their eyes met, Mikael’s holding something like fondness. “Who would’ve thought that one day I’d end up marrying him.”

Magnus remembered it, now. Facing three rogue warlocks… Finding a terrified, crying little boy. / _“It’s alright. I’m not like those three. I won’t hurt you. I promise.”_ / By some miracle the child believed him, clung to him as though for dear life until the boy was taken away. Magnus spoke loudly enough to silence the murmuring the revelation provoked. “I don’t trust Shadowhunters, either.” He had more than enough reason not to, after centuries of unpleasant experiences. He cast a hard look at his people. “But we all have to try. Because otherwise we’d be no better than the racist psychopath who intends to wipe out us all.”

“We are going to tear down Valentine and the Circle”, Mikael declared. And took Magnus’s hand in an impressive, amusingly theatrical gesture. (Perhaps he’d learn to like this one.) “We’re in this war against him together.”

From the back of the crowd Izzy and Jace watched and listened with open shock. “I felt how devastated Alec was after the meeting yesterday”, Jace muttered. “He refused to tell me anything, punched me in the face during our sparring when I asked. Now I get why he’s upset.”

“We have to do something”, Izzy declared with horrified eyes.

Imogen and Robert monitored the reactions of the crowd. Most seemed relieved. Many were suspicious, even hostile. It’d take far more than one meeting and fancy speeches to overcome centuries of prejudice and violence.

“I counted four Circle spies.” Imogen’s eyes darted swiftly to left. “Make it five.” Definitely a large enough group to deliver Valentine a word of what took place. She sent orders to the guards outside to let two of them escape, harmed but alive.

“And I see at least seven warlocks we’ll have to keep an eye on.” Robert’s eyes narrowed slightly. “They’re from the radical group Bane warned us about.”

“Those two are doing a phenomenal job at inspiring and antagonizing people.” The skin around Imogen’s eyes crinkled. “If this sham marriage is good for nothing else, at least it’ll help pull Valentine out of hiding to where we can end him. Because he’s going to hate this and what this represents.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems this deal is a part of something complex… Will we get a happy Malec ending? Or will everything fall apart in the most horrible way?
> 
> AND, most importantly… How was that? Any good? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! It ALWAYS makes my day.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	3. Family Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Mikael have a much needed talk. Soon after a secret about the Shadowhunter is revealed. Outside the relationship and family drama Valentine has arranged an unwanted engagement gift...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DAAAANG! This story’s already got you so fired up! And we’re only two chapters in. (Well, three, now.) (grins) We’ll see how you respond to this chapter…!
> 
> FIRST, though… THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for the baffling amount of comments, love, affection and sheer feeling you’ve given this story! It means the world to me that so many of you are so emotionally invested. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay… Are you guys ready? Let’s go! Or WAIT, first two things!
> 
> I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LACK OF MALEC IN THIS CHAPTER! BUT, this is quite essential for the plot. Now worry not, I love those two together too much to keep them from each other for too long. (grins)
> 
> ALSO! THIS CHAPTER TAKES PLACE AROUND 2x4 ON THE ORIGINAL TIMELINE.
> 
> Awkay… I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride!

When Magnus and Mikael left Jace and Izzy moved to follow. Only to have Robert stop them. “This arrangement has nothing to do with either of you”, the man warned. His sharp eyes locked on Jace, who had his lips open for an objection. “After your little adventure with Valentine, you can thank Mikael for you not getting sent to the City of Bones. Did you even pause to wonder how you didn’t end up there? You being pardoned on parole was one of his conditions for agreeing to this marriage. But you’re still under Clave’s close watch. So no stupidities, demon blooded. Got that?”

Jace breathed sharply and bit his teeth together.

“What about your stupidities?” Izzy had arched one eyebrow while glaring at him. “That Mikael could be Alec’s long-lost twin. And I have hard time believing that it would be a coincidence.”

Robert sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Your mother and I… We were hoping to postpone this for a while.” They could tell that it was something earth shattering, especially because Max had complained that lately there’d been several loud fights. “But I suppose we’ll need to have that family meeting today. The Institute is probably already gossiping, anyway…”

/

As had been the plan from the start, Valentine was quick to hear the news. The expression on his face transformed to pure disgust. “They imagine that such a sickening disgrace of a marriage will keep the Accords from falling apart?” His eyes then flashed and a sinister little smile appeared. “Well… Considering those news, it’s only befitting that I arranged an engagement gift…”

/

“Don’t you think the ‘racist psychopath’ was a bit over the top?” Mikael inquired with amusement when they portalled to Magnus’s apartment. (To which they headed for a talk. Because, considering everything that just happened and was about to happen, they needed to _talk_.)

Magnus pursed his lips. “People do tend to call me over dramatic.” The warlock closed the portal with a flick of a wrist that was far flashier than it needed to be. “I can’t imagine why.” He nodded towards his liquor cabinet. “A drink?”

Mikael groaned. “Usually I’d say no, but after that meeting… I’d sell my soul for a martini.”

Magnus wasted no time before summoning the desired alcohol. He decided to have a similar for himself. “I must admit that the Clave surprised me.” He gave his so-called fiancé a long look. “It’s a well-known fact how… open minded I am. I still didn’t expect them to choose a man.”

“Actually, that… was kind of my idea. I figured that you saving me when I was a child might help drive our point home. Besides…” Mikael smirked. “A marriage between two men should piss off Valentine more. And the old farts of the Clave.”

Magnus found himself grinning back. Getting on Valentine’s nerves was like playing with fire but it was also deliciously satisfying. And if certain members of the Clave would be displeased, even better. He tilted his head. “I noticed your accent. Is it Welsh?”

Mikael nodded. “I still work mainly at the London Institute.” The Shadowhunter grew far more solemn all of a sudden. “Magnus… I’m so sorry about Ragnor. I didn’t know him personally but I’ve heard that you two were close.”

Magnus shuddered and cleared his throat. It was time to steer the conversation away from waters he wasn’t comfortable with. “What else have you heard about me?”  
Mikael shrugged. “You have a… reputation that precedes you. A couple of people advised me to get a chastity belt before heading here. I silenced them with inquiring what made them imagine that I’d be the one needing it.”

Magnus couldn’t help but grin at that. So as well as with himself, Mikael was at peace with what little he knew of his colorful… history. It was a breath of fresh air after the partners who’d hurried the other way once they found out just how experienced Magnus was. Not that he had any plans to actually make Mikael his partner – it was time to take a break from those. He gulped down his drink, feeling the first spark of a headache. The past couple of days had been painfully long. (Or was it the past couple of decades? It was hard to tell a difference.) “You’re taking quite the risk for the Downworld of New York”, he mused, hoping that he sounded curious rather than suspicious.

“The Clave is supposed to protect Downworlders as much as Shadowhunters. Sometimes the representatives are just too good at forgetting it.” Mikael shrugged. “Now you get why no one was heartbroken when I volunteered to this task and became New York’s problem instead of London’s.” The man saw something on his face that made his brows furrow. “Did I… say something wrong?”

Magnus shook his head. “No, no! Just…” He felt his eyes soften. “Shadowhunters with open hearts… It’s something I have to get used to.” He then remembered the sight of the younger man’s dead parents. “I… suppose it’s the same for you.”

Mikael shrugged. A great deal of emotions showed in those eyes and the tightening facial muscles. “After that night I had two options. To presume that all Downworlders were like those who took everything from me. Or to hope that more of them would be like you. I chose hope.”

Magnus took a deep breath. He remembered making that same decision more times than he could count. Sometimes it paid off, other times it smacked him in the face. He sincerely hoped that the young man in front of him would have a luckier statistic than he did. “To hope, then.” He was about to raise his glass when he noticed that it was empty. “Another drink?”

Mikael’s lips opened. But before the man got the chance to answer his phone received a message. The Shadowhunter appeared surprised after inspecting it. “Looks like getting drunk will have to wait. I’ve been summoned to a family meeting.”

Magnus nodded slowly. Well, now was as good time as any to address the final elephant in the room… “Does this meeting, by any chance, have something to do with why you look the spitting image of Alec Lightwood?”

“If I tell you right after the meeting, have I passed your interrogation?” Mikael went on before Magnus could apologize. “It’s alright that you don’t trust me, you don’t even know me. Hopefully one day you will. For now… Do you think you could portal me to the Institute? I don’t feel ready for the cabs around here yet.”

/

Alec was having an absolutely horrible day. He still didn’t know what to do about the situation with Magnus. Especially now that the warlock was engaged and about to get married with someone else. Jace and Izzy were quite tight-lipped about the meeting that just took place. But from what little they said he got a pretty clear picture that the chemistry between Magnus and this… Mikael seemed to hit the crowd. In a number of ways. 

Izzy was about to tell something more about Mikael. But just then their parents entered the room. Robert’s eyes were instantly on Jace. “I hope you don’t mind. But at this point we’d like to keep this matter strictly inside the immediate family.”

Alec felt Jace’s hurt before the slightly younger man nodded and left, and it did no favors to his temper. He was just about to demand what was going on when the room’s door opened. He looked over his shoulder, expecting it to be his parabatai to retrieve the coat the blond forgot.

Instead he found himself staring at someone who looked eerily lot like him.

The arrival grimaced. “I can already see that this will go spectacularly.” The young man then focused on his father. “Hello, Robert.”

Alec frowned. Cold shivers went down his spine while he also looked at his father. “What… is going on here?”

His parents exchanged one of those hard, loudly speaking looks Alec had hated ever since he was old enough to understand that they meant that the two had been fighting. Eventually his father inhaled heavily. “Before your mother and I got married we had a… disagreement. During that time I visited the London Institute and… became close with someone.” (That might explain why Max had been excluded from this ‘immediate family only’ meeting.) “She got pregnant, but I was under the impression that she took care of the situation. Until a little while ago I received a file of information on the quite recently appointed Clave official who volunteered to an arranged marriage.”

Izzy’s eyes widened. She seemed as nauseous as Alec felt before muttering barely audibly. “Oh, god…”

The explanation went on but Alec didn’t manage to pay a lot of attention to it. His father, the one he’d always considered his role model, who judged him… just admitted to having cheated on his mother. Which led to an unplanned pregnancy. Now the product of that affair sat in front of him. Engaged to a man Alec cared about so much that it scared him.

Suddenly there wasn’t enough air in the room. Alec pushed himself up, fighting desperately to not seem like he was suffocating. He shook his head. Once, twice, thrice. “I need some fresh air”, was the most civilized wording he could manage.

“Alec…!” his mother attempted to call out, but for once her voice had no power over him.

Alec made it all the way to the room’s door. Until it was pulled open and a frantic looking Raj burst in without a knock. Eyes wide and panting hard. “There’s… There’s been an attack, a demon got into the building inside a body. It’s possessing people, making them attack each other. So far there’s… There’s one casualty.”

/

Magnus’s plan was to leave the building as quickly as possible. Whatever family drama there would be… He wanted no part in any of it. And Mikael did tell him that he was a big boy and didn’t need him waiting around like a cab driver. 

But Magnus couldn’t quite bring himself to leave before visiting one place…

Without much conscious thought Magnus made his way to Alec’s room. He stood outside the door, fully aware that the younger man wasn’t inside. He wasn’t sure what he was doing there. He made his decision and wasn’t planning on changing his mind. Nor was he ready or willing to open his heart again. Perhaps he simply needed this moment of stupidity to let go fully.

Magnus sighed heavily. Was it actually possible that he felt old beyond his years? “I’m sorry, Alexander”, he murmured. “I wish that I could tell you everything.”

“Everything about what?” Clary’s voice made him tense up and look over his shoulder. She frowned when he didn’t answer. “Magnus?”

It was curious how something could be a tremendous relief and absolutely terrifying at the same time. Two sounds came almost simultaneously. A shrill alert, and a scream.

Clary’s eyes widened. “Mom…!” They were running before the word’s echo died.

The sight they encountered froze them both. Jocelyn lay on the floor, hopefully only unconscious despite the amount of blood. Jace was kneeling on top of her, his hands covered in blood.

Then Jace noticed them, and all hell broke loose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO… How, exactly, will the harrowing events of 2x4 turn out in this version? AND… What is Magnus hiding?
> 
> AND, the most important question of them all… How was that? Any good? PLEASE, let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS make my day.
> 
> Until next time, folks! I really hope that you’ll all stay tuned for that one.
> 
> Take care!


	4. Heartache is a Demonic Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The demon's attack leaves people injured and shaken. And when control is lost, hidden feelings are revealed. Will they be hidden again as quickly as they came out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You’re seeing right! This IS an update. (grins sheepishly) I’m SO SORRY for leaving this story for so long! My head was hijacked by hostile plot-bunnies. BUT, I’m FINALLY back. Hooray?
> 
> THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for all your comments, love and support! They’re what brought this story back to life. (HUGS) I promise to do my best to make this worth the wait!
> 
> Awkay, because I’ve already kept you hanging for too long... Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy this long-awaited ride.

One second. Two. Three. Time stood still. Then everything seemed to be moving five times faster than normal.

Clary was lunging towards her mother, and Jace was lunging at them, his eyes completely black and menacing.

Magnus reacted in a flash. One of his arms shot backwards to hold back Clary, while his other hand sent a flood of magic towards Jace. It wrapped around the possessed Shadowhunter, a cage and a security blanket all at once. The young man hissed and growled, fighting with all his might to break free.

“Magnus, mom, she...!” Clary cried out, her voice full of sheer terror and tears. “Mom, no, no, please...!”

“So you’re going to fail her again, warlock?” The monster in Jace’s body tilted his head with a frosty smirk. “You’re useless. But I’m sure that you’re used to feeling that way by now. Is it any wonder that Alec didn’t fight harder for you?”

Magnus knew, on a level of reason, that it was just the demon trying to get under his skin. But those words still stung. He didn’t know how he would’ve reacted if a familiar voice hadn’t shouted just then. “Jace! Magnus! Are you okay?”

Magnus couldn’t help the way his body reacted to Alec’s presence, his supposedly locked heart thudding wildly. Of course the demon in Jace’s body noticed. The sneer from before became even more sinister. “Oh, this is almost too good to be true.”

It happened so quickly that Magnus couldn’t quite keep up. All of a sudden the demon wasn’t in Jace’s body anymore. And then Alec was attacking him.

Magnus hit his head on the floor so hard that he saw stars for a few seconds. Then a large, calloused hand was slammed against his throat. Hard enough to make drawing even the slightest bit of breath impossible, almost hard enough to damage his windpipe.

The possessed archer’s other hand was laid on his chest. “Since we met you’ve been breaking my heart, making it dream of things that can never be. Making me fall for someone I can never have.” Alec tilted his head, black eyes full of pain that came from somewhere very deep. “It’s only fair that I break yours in return, isn’t it?”

Those words stunned Magnus to a point where, for a moment, he wasn’t able to react to the threat on his life. Because unlike with Jace, they clearly came partially from Alec himself. Ironically, this was the first time the Shadowhunter was completely and utterly honest about his feelings.

Then, at last, Magnus snapped out of it. (A hand starting to reach out for his heart was an excellent wake-up call.) Gasping uselessly for air and black spots dancing in his line of vision, he flicked a wrist. Gentle, blue magic wrapped around Alec as though caressing him. As soon as the pressure on his throat began to ease the warlock’s tongue betrayed him. “Alexander”, he rasped, grimacing at how much talking hurt. “I...” He didn’t get to finish what would’ve been a terrible mistake.

Alec screamed, deafeningly loudly. It was the last thing Magnus managed to hear for a while. (He convinced himself that it was due to lack of oxygen, rather for some... more sentimental reasons.) The Shadowhunter slumped to the side, revealing Clary who was holding a recently used blade. And then the demon was leaving Alec’s body.

“... to hell where you belong ...!” her snarl echoed dimly in his head.

On the verge of passing out, Magnus saw that Alec lay unmoving on the floor. Close to where Jace, who was visibly in a state of shock, attempted to staunch Jocelyn’s bleeding while crying out for his parabatai. And the warlock realized that he couldn’t stand down yet.

Adrenaline flowing through his veins, Magnus checked up on Jocelyn first because she seemed to be barely alive. A shaky breath escaped him when he discovered the full extend of her injury, and prayed that she wasn’t beyond hope. (She wasn’t his favorite person. But what losing her after having her life turned upside down might do to Clary... And to Jace, who would have to live with his body killing the mother of the one he loved... He couldn’t bear to imagine.) “I did everything I could”, he announced when he was finished, hating how hoarse he sounded. And loathing how little he could help, because the way her wound refused to react properly reminded him too much of Ragnor’s death. Speaking was incredibly painful, so he used words uncharacteristically sparingly. “The rest is up to her, and luck.”

The look of possibly premature relief on Clary’s face made it all more painful. “Thank you”, was all she managed.

Magnus nodded with a tiny smile and gave the redhead’s hand a squeeze. Then, with a deep breath, he focused on his second patient. Alec was regaining consciousness slowly and groaned.

With Jace’s help he picked up the injured Shadowhunter gently, until Alec was leaning against him. Their height difference and a million other things made it a little awkward but Magnus didn’t waste time on thinking about that. Instead he let his hand ghost above the young man’s shoulder and got to work.

 _You can handle this_ , he told himself when he ached from how badly he’d wanted to feel Alec this close since they met. He never wanted it to happen like this. _This is just doing the right thing, nothing more. Don’t overthink..._

Suddenly, recovered enough to do so, Alec leaned his head on his shoulder and wrapped an arm around him, and all coherent thoughts vanished.

Magnus had no idea what to make of the unexpected display of affection. Then more steps were heard and Izzy showed up with Mikael. A slight chaos erupted while the arrivals were told what just took place, and the loud volume did Magnus’ throbbing skull no favors. Clearly it didn’t help Alec, either, because the archer’s hold on him tightened. Powerless to do anything else, the overwhelmed warlock embraced back.

Magnus shuddered when all of a sudden a gentle hand brushed his neck. He looked up to find Mikael, who had a frown of deep worry on his face. “Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

Magnus nodded. People expressing concern over his wellbeing... It wasn’t something he was used to. “Nothing a martini won’t fix”, he reassured, trying to keep his tone light. Unfortunately he still sounded like he’d been almost choked to death.

Mikael smiled just a little, appreciating his attempt. “Good. What a martini or two can’t fix is deadly.”

Magnus did his best to smile back.

“Alec?” Izzy’s voice cut the little moment. The way she brushed the mentioned archer’s hair was close to what Magnus longed to do. “He’s still out of it.”

Magnus worked his hardest to draw in a proper breath. “My magic helped, but for him to heal quickly and properly further treatment is necessary. I have everything I need at my apartment.”

Izzy nodded determinedly. Looking more like her older brother than ever before. “Then let’s get going.”

Equally resolute, Magnus stood while she and Jace helped Alec up. (He pretended that he didn’t catch the tiny whine of protest the archer emitted upon being separated from him. Surely it meant nothing.) Soon he realized that he’d made a terrible mistake. The whole world tilted and spun nauseatingly, sending him stumbling.

To be steadied by ready arms. “Woah!” Mikael supported him even after the world had stopped swaying. “I think you need to sit back down.”

Magnus shook his head stubbornly. Another thing he regretted, because his skull protested against the motion heatedly. “Not yet.” He went on before anyone could argue. “I’ll be fine. And I’ll rest once the lotion Alec needs is ready.”

It was fairly clear that the others didn’t believe him. But there wasn’t much of a choice. Just before they left Jace looked backwards, to where Clary was kneeling beside Jocelyn. What passed between the two was agonizing to witness and Magnus could only imagine how they both felt. (So many aching hearts in one room...)

“Go”, Clary commanded, probably more harshly than she’d intended. “Keep me posted. I’ll stay here with mom.”

Jace opened his mouth. But what words could’ve fixed the current situation? It was blatantly obvious how much he would’ve wanted to stay with her. Eventually he seemed to conclude that there was nothing he could do for her at the moment. Focusing on Alec with visible effort, the blond decided to help a hurt loved one he could do something for. Doing the same, Clary concentrated on her mother while three members of the medical team finally rushed to the scene.

His headache escalating intensely, Magnus looked at Alec and felt Mikael's arm, and braced himself for more drama to come.

/

Magnus soldiered through the tedious process of preparing the medical lotion and was eventually even able to coax Izzy and Jace to return to the Institute. They’d have to help with sorting out the attack’s aftermath, after all. Clearly deciding that Alec was in safe enough hands with him, they went but not before telling him several times to let them know if anything changed.

Entering his bedroom, Magnus wasn’t able to keep himself from admiring the sight for a moment. The way Alec lay curled up on his bed, like he belonged there... It was deviously tempting.

Then Alec cracked one eye half-open. Despite the discomfort the Shadowhunter had to be in an unguarded smile was aimed the warlock’s way. (Perhaps the herbal potion to help with pain the man received earlier was a little too strong...) “Hey”, the young man managed around a huge yawn.

And Magnus felt things he absolutely shouldn’t have, before he was fast enough to shield himself against them. “Hey.” It took all his willpower to not focus on the young archer’s bare upper body. Somehow his voice came out soft but strictly professional. “I’m going to apply something that will help the wound heal. It may sting...”

“... ‘s okay”, Alec mumbled. Sounding half-asleep. A pair of sincere eyes, full of things the warlock couldn’t allow himself to think about, met his. “I trust you.”

Magnus’ mouth opened. Until he came to the conclusion that any response he could come up with would’ve been saying more than he should’ve. He nodded instead, then got started. Eager to get this over with so he could escape the situation.

It hurt more than he would’ve cared to admit when Alec hissed against the lotion’s vicious bite. “I know”, he murmured gently, almost apologetically. “Try to relax and breathe through it. This will be over soon.”

True to his words, the in more ways than one agonizing process was over quickly. Knowing that Alec would fall asleep soon, Magnus moved to leave. Only to be held back by a hand grabbing his.

Magnus should’ve told Alec to let go, should’ve just walked away regardless. Instead he stopped and looked towards the Shadowhunter. There was a sea of guilt, self-hatred and pain in those eyes that were older than the man they belonged to.

Alec’s other hand rose and tender, delicate fingers brushed the warlock’s neck, where angry, dark bruising was already forming. He couldn’t stop himself from flinching against the contact and cursed himself for it, especially after seeing the impact his reaction had on the young man. The hand was withdrawn instantly, leaving behind a tingling phantom sensation. “Magnus, I... I’m so sorry”, Alec whispered, voice cracking. “What I did... The things I think I said...”

Magnus was struck speechless. Seeing the emotionally guarded, often cold man so vulnerable, emotional and... broken was quite shocking. He shook his head, to clear it and as a protest. (At least the gesture didn’t make the throbbing worse and cause the world to spin this time.) “None of this was your fault”, he pointed out, and meant it. “Those words... They weren’t yours.” He was reminding himself as much as he was hoping to soothe Alec.

/

“What if... they kind of were?” Alec was exhausted, in pain and overwhelmed. Fully ready to just pass out and let the world drift away. Perhaps that was why he lost control and let those words slip. They came out so strongly that even the subtext was audible.

_What if I do... care about you, so much that it hurts?_

It was a plea, a veiled confession and a challenge all at once. Magnus met it with silence. Which was followed by a heavy sigh. “Get some sleep”, the warlock urged softly. And pulled that hand he’d been holding free as gently as possible. “You’ll feel a lot better when you wake up.”

Alec shook his head. (And wondered what in the world he was doing.) “No, I won’t”, he argued, so quietly that he wasn’t sure if the cause of his emotional turmoil heard.

If Magnus did hear, he didn’t let it show. “Goodnight, Alexander.” It was ridiculous how much watching him walk away hurt. “If you need anything, at any point of the night... Or if you’re in pain... Let me know.”

 _The irony..._ Alec swallowed. It didn’t help with the bitter taste in his mouth. “Goodnight.”

What Alec didn’t know was that for a few stolen moments Magnus’ heart had been wide open for him, only to click locked as the room’s door closed.

/

Magnus felt torn, weary and achy. With a deep sigh he sauntered towards the couch. All he wanted to do was to sleep the wretched day away...

“Oh, no you don’t.” Mikael’s voice made him shudder. The Shadowhunter smirked sheepishly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” The man went on quickly. “Magnus, you’ve been strangled and I’m pretty sure that you have a concussion. That couch is mine tonight.”

Magnus was in no fit state to argue. Nor did he want to deny the comforting, supportive arm wrapping around him. Neither felt the need to talk while they made their way towards the guestroom and he slumped gracelessly to sit on the bed’s edge. With the last of his strength he waved his hand to get rid of his makeup, and to change his attire to something more comfortable.

Which was when Magnus remembered his audience. He arched an eyebrow at the way Mikael was looking at him. “What?” It was embarrassing, really, how vulnerable he sounded.

The younger man shook his head with a smile. “Nothing. Just... It’s nice to know how you really look.”

Magnus couldn’t come with a comeback for that. He turned his bare face away, telling himself that it wasn’t because he felt self-conscious, and noticed a photograph on the nightstand. It was of a man and a woman, with a small child who was very clearly Mikael.

“Those are my parents. Well, my aunt and uncle.” Mikael’s tone was fond rather than pained. “We went to this amusement park just days before they were killed. It’s my favorite memory of them.” After thinking about it for a moment the Shadowhunter went on. “They’re my mother’s sister and brother-in-law. They took me in after my mother died during childbirth.”

Magnus hoped that he wasn’t about to overstep. But he genuinely wanted to know, and he kind of needed a distraction from... other things. “How did you find out that Robert Lightwood is your biological father?”

If Mikael was surprised by him figuring out that much, he hid it well. “I heard my parents talking, once. While Robert was visiting London. From just a few sentences it became pretty obvious that they weren’t Robert’s biggest fans.” The young man grimaced. “And I don’t think my half-siblings are my biggest fans.”

Magnus shrugged. “I’ve seen how important family is to them. They’ll come around”, he reassured. “Just give them time.”

Mikael seemed to consider saying something. But changed his mind upon noticing the yawn Magnus stifled. “Go to sleep.” Seeing his continued hesitation, the Shadowhunter went on. “I’ll keep an eye on Alec. And I’ll wake you up in a few hours to check on your head.”

Considering all the... negative experiences Magnus had with Nephilim, he should’ve known better. But he was too exhausted to be at his most cautious. Or perhaps he was out of his mind. In a matter of minutes he was fast asleep, with two fully trained Shadowhunters in his apartment. And he felt safe.

/

When Alec woke up in the morning it took him embarrassingly long to figure out that he wasn’t in his own bed. And to start wondering why his shoulder was throbbing. Tension filled his whole body when memories of the day before rushed in. Somehow the most shocking part of the whole thing was that a big part of him enjoyed the concept of waking up in Magnus Bane’s bed. 

Achy, confused and on the edge, he sent Izzy and Jace a message to let them know that he was okay. Then, ignoring his reluctance to leave the bed that was far more tempting than it should’ve been, he pushed himself up. He had every intention to leave as quickly as he could, but he owed Magnus at least a thank you first. When he finally found the warlock he froze.

Magnus was in the guest room’s bed, which the warlock had without a doubt given to Mikael. With his face free of makeup the man appeared bare and soft in a way the archer had never seen before. Alec was spellbound. Until he saw Mikael, who was dressed only in a bathrobe while entering the room. The older Shadowhunter was soon offering a mug of coffee to a slowly waking up Magnus. Who accepted it with a hint of a smile and a mumbled ‘thank you’.

It was all so... domestic and natural, effortless. And, if Alec was honest with himself, everything he would’ve wanted. It was painful, beyond anything else, to watch someone else get what his heart desired.

/

Some twenty minutes later Mikael was taking a shower. Finally properly awake, Magnus had a can of healing lotion and coffee with him as he approached the room where he left Alec to rest. He opened the door after a knock. And stilled.

Alec was clearly leaving. “Going so soon?” He told himself that it didn’t sting as much as it did.

Alec shrugged stiffly. And hid a grimace when it aggravated the still healing injury. “There’s no point in staying.” Hurt lingered in both their bodies and in the air between them as those callous words made impact. “Besides, the Institute’s in a state of chaos after yesterday. I have to go back.”

Of course. The night before Alec was wounded, in a shock and probably guilty. Now, in the light of day, the open and vulnerable version of the archer Magnus got to meet briefly was gone. So was the temptation to think about pointless ‘what ifs’.

Magnus nodded slowly. The previous time Alec spent a night at his place, accidentally, he asked the Shadowhunter to stay for breakfast. This time he handed over the lotion, keeping the coffee he’d planned on offering to himself. “This is the same thing I put on your wound yesterday. You’ll have to use it for three more days to complete the treatment.”

Alec accepted it, befuddled but not hesitant. “Thanks. What do I owe you?”

Magnus shrugged and tried not to sound as hollow as he felt. “I’ll get back to you when I can think of something.” This was just a business deal, Alec was just another client. Which was for the best. It was easier to... do what had to be done, to face the inevitable, after remembering just how little he had to lose.

The walls around his heart grew higher and suddenly the whole current mess didn’t hurt so much.

“Magnus?” Alec was looking at him with concern. “Are you... okay?”

Magnus plastered on his best smile. “Why wouldn’t I be?” The warlock deflected any further questions by continuing. “Now off you go. Take care of yourself.”

Alec nodded and opened his mouth, then closed it. Equally silent, Magnus created a portal. The young man was about to walk through it before deciding that he needed to say something more. A pair of eyes flickered towards his by then badly bruised throat and for a few seconds several emotions showed. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you.” ( _So am I_ , Magnus mused, but didn’t say it. Nor did he attempt to convince Alec that it wasn’t his fault because it would’ve been useless.) “Thank you, for helping me.”

Magnus almost admitted that there was disconcertingly little he wouldn’t do for Alec. “I’m glad I could be of use.” He breathed in, then out. His heart ached and thudded but he forced down what nearly blossomed. “Give Biscuit and Jocelyn my best.”

Alec nodded. Then went through the portal, which Magnus closed immediately. The words they both refused to say were left echoing to the apartment that suddenly felt strangely empty.

/

Alec imagined that his morning was already horrible enough. Until he found Jace, who wore the kind of an expression he’d never seen before. “Jocelyn, she... She died two hours ago.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh, boy... See the ‘idiots in love’ tag? Yeah. That about sums this up... These two are killing themselves and each other with heartbreak and unsaid words! (groans) BUT. Keep in mind, there’s still more plot hidden, a surprise or two more to revealed. We’ll see what happens to our beloved fools next...
> 
> SOOOO... How was that? Worth the wait, at all? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Your comments ALWAYS make my day.  
> Until next time, folks! I REALLY hope that you’ll all join in for that one.
> 
> Take care!


	5. Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus are both hurting from what they can't have, and done with the world. Alec lies and drinks. Magnus dances. Neither is able to soothe the aching of their hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHEW! I’m SO SORRY that it took me this long to update. (winces apologetically) BUT, encouraged by a lovely comment... Here we are!
> 
> THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for all your comments and love! They seriously mean the world to me. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay... Are you ready? Because here we go. I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride!
> 
> BRACE YOURSELVES FOR DRUNK ALEC...!

Alec’s wound healed. Infuriatingly slowly, as far as he was concerned, but still. Everything else around him was falling apart.

His parents were fighting, viciously. It was only a matter of time before one of them would utter the word ‘divorce’. His mom could still barely look at him. He could barely look at his father.

Jace was suffering, in pieces from guilt, and no amount of comfort was enough to pull him out of it. Alec felt all that pain vividly through their bond and it was killing him. He was a fixer by nature, and there was nothing he could do to help.

And then there was Mikael. Alec frowned upon entering a training room for a session that was supposed to determine whether his injury allowed him to return to active duty. He found his so-called stepbrother instead of his parabatai. “Where’s Jace?”

Mikael sighed heavily. “He needed some time off.” The man shifted from discomfort. “I... hope that you have nothing against this?” 

Alec clenched his jaw. And fisted his hands. “Why would I have anything against you? Let’s just get started.” He needed to punch someone and just found the perfect target.

Mikael’s fighting style wasn’t the kind Alec had grown used to. Some of the man’s moves very clearly didn’t come from Shadowhunter training. He clenched his jaw when Mikael emitted a disapproving sound after an attack the archer only dodged with a lucky quick jump. “How did that Shadowhunter saying I’ve always hated go again? Emotions cloud judgement.”

Alec countered with a swift punch that very nearly hit its mark. This was the last company in which he was going to talk about his conflicted feelings towards his family or Magnus. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Mikael snorted. “Sure you don’t.” They spun around each other, fists and legs swinging out. (Alec didn’t realize until much later that the loud, frustrated hiss came from him.) “I don’t know if you’ve always been this angry, or if I’m pissing you off this much. But just watching you is exhausting.” His fist met Mikael’s face, which the man returned immediately. “If you don’t let at least some of that anger go...” It was impossible to tell what happened next. But all of a sudden he was on the floor, with all breath knocked out of him. “... it will crush you.”

Alec wanted to roar. Frustration made him see red while he jumped back up, fully ready to continue the fight. “What do you want from me?” he snarled.

Mikael lifted his chin. “I can practically feel how much you hate me. And I want to know if it’s because of the man who sired me and pretended that I didn’t exist since. Or because of the man I’m about to marry.”

Alec shuddered. Because that slashed harder and deeper than he would’ve wanted to admit. His eyes narrowed. “What does it matter?”

Mikael’s eyes softened just enough for it to be noticeable. Something almost vulnerable appeared to them. “Because I would never marry a man who has something going on with another person. Even as a political arrangement.”

Alec was startled by the blunt question. Enough so to be unable to disguise his true feelings for a moment. A voice deep inside him screamed. Begged him to reveal everything, before it’d be too late. He was desperate to release the truth that was eating him up alive. But his mouth... “I don’t have feelings for Magnus.”

The second those words slipped past Alec’s lips he knew that he’d made a mistake. That knowledge intensified immensely when he realized that the lie he felt he needed to tell – to himself and others – had been overheard. At the training room’s doorway, right beside Robert, stood Magnus. Just one look at the warlock’s face revealed that the man heard every vile syllable.

The ache in Magnus’ eyes... Alec didn’t think he’d ever forgive himself for it. Then it was gone, replaced by the chilling kind of resignation.

Mikael, who had his back to the arrivals, went on. Unaware of the devastating emotional blow that just took place. “I can tell that your shoulder is still sore. I don’t want to see you in the training rooms until it’s fully healed.”

Alec’s temper flared. Worsened by heartache partially of his own making. “What right do you imagine you have to...?”

“Since Hodge was proven unworthy of our trust, we need a new training instructor.” Robert walked closer, making Mikael tense up. “Considering Mikael’s own extensive training and field experience, he’s the perfect candidate. Aldertree just approved my suggestion.”

A chill traveled down Alec’s spine. The whole world seemed to be shaking to its core around him. “I see.”

The air was so thick with tension that a knife wouldn’t have been able to cut it. Eventually Magnus cleared his throat. “I’ll just... get going.”

Mikael nodded. The stone-faced Shadowhunter from before melted to something incredibly soft. “See you later.”

Magnus nodded back and whirled around so quickly that Alec didn’t get the chance to see the expression on his face. He did see the way Mikael watched the warlock go. And it made the archer’s stomach knot. Because the look echoed what he felt, and what he could never have.

Alec was so focused on Mikael’s reaction that he completely missed the brief and sharp look Magnus exchanged with his father. Nor did he pause to wonder what the warlock was doing at the Institute. He did sense the dread and doom lingering in the air, though. He imagined that it was because of his aching heart.

It didn’t take long before Mikael excused himself. Leaving the father and son alone to the still sizzling tension. Robert sighed heavily. “Alec... Try to understand that this is all for the greater good. We’re all trying to do the right thing...”

Alec had never truly snapped at his parents before. He’d always been the good, obedient son who listened and obeyed every single rule. But that day, feeling like his heart was being carved out of his chest... He was _done_ pretending that he was perfect. He was _done_ hiding that he was screwed up and that there was something fundamentally wrong with him. And he was _done_ imagining that his dad, the man who was once his role model and everything he wanted to be, was perfect. “Don’t...!” he hissed, narrowing his eyes. “Don’t come telling me about doing the right thing. I’ve met my brother. The truth’s out.” With that he stormed out, before he would’ve said something he wouldn’t have been able to forgive himself. Again. He was already ashamed of himself. Another thing he was _done_ with.

“Alec...!” Robert called out.

Too bad Alec was _done_ with listening, too.

/

It was a day of Alec doing things he would’ve usually never even imagined doing. He enthroned that list with getting incredibly drunk. It was embarrassing, really, how little it took to get him to that state.

So, was it any wonder that he thought he was hallucinating when all of a sudden Magnus was there. Taking the bar-stool next to his. He blinked twice, slowly. And snorted. “... ‘course it’s you”, he slurred.

Magnus arched an elegant eyebrow. Then glanced towards the empty glasses in front of him. “How drunk, exactly, are you?”

“... ‘o called you?” Alec fired back as comprehensibly as he could.

“Maia. The bartender. She was getting worried about you and didn’t have your family members’ numbers.” Magnus inhaled a breath. “I’m asking again. How drunk are you?”

_What do you care?_ “Are you judging?” Alec huffed and took another defiant gulp of his beer. He was none of Magnus’ business, he wasn’t his fiancé or anything.

“I’m worried.” Magnus sounded concerned, not offended or disgusted. (Which made the inebriated archer even more scornful.) “Because this... isn’t you.”

“What if this _is_ me?” Alec hated how his voice broke. He glared at his beer to avoid meeting the warlock’s eyes. (Getting lost into them was the last thing he needed at that very moment. Or ever. Or so he told himself. Lies, lies, lies, lies, everywhere, from everyone...) “All my life... I’ve had this clear, solid idea of who I am. Of what my life’s going to be like. And then... Then you came along!” He didn’t manage to sound as bitter as he would’ve wanted. Which annoyed him to a point where he gulped down the rest of his drink at one go. “You... You waltz into my life, all smiles and glitter, and... And suddenly nothing makes sense anymore. Suddenly there are all... these things that I want. Things I can’t have. And I... I want so badly to hate and blame you for it, because I’m... I’m done hating myself. There’s something wrong with me...” He’s drunken tirade was cut in the most unexpected way imaginable.

Magnus took his hand and squeezed it. First questioningly, then far more firmly when he tightened his grip in a response. And then the older man said something no one had ever told him before. “Alexander, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.”

Those words were like a spell. Wiped away whatever little sanity Alec had left. Made him do something he would’ve never done if he was sober, and not... well, out of his damned mind.

This was another man, a Downworlder, someone engaged to another...!

Slowly, slowly, Alec leaned closer, his eyes locked longingly on Magnus’ far too tempting lips while he licked his own. The warlock gasped and twitched. To pull away or to lean closer, he’d never know. Because apparently the archer was too drunk to make a drunken mistake.

On the last moment Alec’s balance broke and he slumped rather gracelessly to the surprised warlock’s lap. It was a small miracle that they didn’t fall all the way to the floor. The Shadowhunter’s senses were overwhelmed by the other man’s closeness.

Their breaths mingled, and their shared body heat wrapped around him like a blanket...

Alec gasped, once, twice, thrice. His eyes stung hellishly. He blamed it on alcohol. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry...!”

Magnus sighed heavily, starting tug him up. “Come on”, the older man beckoned. “Let’s get you out of here.”

/

From behind the bar counter, Maia watched the duo’s departure. Magnus flashed her a grateful smile and mouthed ‘thank you’. Then magicked a mighty tip for her. She paid hardly any attention to the money, because her heart thudded at what she saw.

Alec leaned on Magnus in a way that had nothing to do with the Shadowhunter’s current miserable state. (In a way she suspected the seemingly cold young man had never leaned on anyone before.) And Magnus held on with incredible tenderness. A ring-decorated hand found its way to the taller man’s locks and massaged comfortingly, to which the archer practically melted.

Maia had never seen two people who would’ve been as close and as far apart at the same time.

/

Izzy knew that her brothers were suffering in their own ways. Jace closed up like a clam. And Alec... was Alec. She expected things to hit the lowest low at some point. That day it happened. A message from Magnus urged her to Alec’s room.

Alec lay passed out on his bed. She could smell alcohol from the doorway. Imagining that no one would ever know Magnus brushed her brother’s cheek with such gentleness that made her heart swell. Alec, who usually wasn’t a fan of physical contact, leaned to the touch with a contented, drunken smile.

The sight broke her heart.

That was when Magnus sensed her stare. He withdrew his hand quickly and cleared his throat. “I know that he wouldn’t want you to see him like this, but... He can’t be alone.”

Izzy nodded. “Thank you. For bringing him home.”

Magnus nodded, barely meeting her eyes.

Izzy knew that it wasn’t her place. But she had to, needed to... “Why are you marrying someone else when any fool can see your feelings for Alec?”

Magnus shuddered. It took a considerable amount of time and effort before he managed to produce a reply. “Because he doesn’t feel the same when he’s sober. All things considered, it’s for the best.”

She didn’t get the chance to demand a clarification. Because just then a message came through. The look it brought to the mage’s face gave her chills. “Magnus?”

“I have to go.” With visible difficulty Magnus moved to do just that. But paused on the last moment. “Look after Alexander, will you?”

Izzy nodded and smiled sadly. “Do you seriously imagine that you have to ask?” It was the easiest promise she’d ever made. Even if she knew that she couldn’t give her brother what he needed.

Seconds after Magnus’ departure Alec moaned and curled up tightly. Like someone in pain, despite being too intoxicated to have reached a hungover. Then muttered words she could barely make out. “... lied ... do have feelings for you, Mags ...” He giggled in a way that sounded more like hysterical sobs. His eyes shimmered from moisture when they opened for a second, then closed. “... guess ‘yone’s wrong ‘bout me ... am a great liar ... even fooled myself ... Shh... don’t tell ‘yone...”

Izzy’s heart broke all over again. She doubted that Alec would remember much of this in the morning. But those feelings that drove him to this condition... The lies he guarded so carefully, even from himself, that they were tearing him apart... They’d remain.

She sighed heavily. To see two people in so much pain because of something as beautiful as love... “What are you two doing to yourselves?”

/

It had been a long, horrible day. Having to hear Alec denying any feelings for him, then finding the archer in such a state... Having Clary begging him to bring her mom back and knowing that he couldn’t... Having to relive memories of his own mother’s death... It was too much.

Fortunately Magnus wasn’t facing it alone. Mikael was right beside him. “I lost my mom, too. And I would’ve done anything to get her back. But I’m glad I didn’t. Because later I saw... someone who'd been brought back. And believe me, you love your mom too much to do that to her.”

Clary blanched a little from shock. She hesitated. “Who was it?”

Pain filled Mikael’s eyes. Such grief he didn’t even try to hide. “My parabatai.” It took a while before he managed to continue. “I felt him die, and I felt him come back. I... felt the being he was, when he returned. And eventually I had to end his life again, to set him free from the agony.” He shook his head desperately. “Don’t do that to your mom, Clary. Let her rest in peace.”

Eventually they were alone. Mikael’s shoulders dropped from exhaustion. “Do you think she listened to us?”

Magnus hummed, downing a drink. “I’m not sure. Biscuit... can be stubborn when she chooses to be. But I think your words helped.”

Mikael looked down. “I... hope so. I’ve never told that to anyone.”

Magnus brushed the man’s cheek with his hand. Hoping that the gesture conveyed what he couldn’t say. Words weren’t enough to express how sorry he was for the loss, or how honored he was for being told something so intimate.

They’d both had some old scars torn wide open that evening. Neither wanted to talk about it. Nor did Mikael ask about Alec. The hostile little training session from earlier proved that they’d talk about the younger Shadowhunter on a day that hadn’t been too drama-filled already.

When Mikael noticed him reaching out for a new drink the Nephilim stilled his hand. “Let’s face it. Today hasn’t been great. But I don’t think alcohol’s going to fix it.”

Magnus arched an eyebrow. Genuinely intrigued. “Then what do you have in mind?”

Mikael pressed a remote controller’s button. Instantly ridiculously perky jazz music filled the apartment. “How about a dance?”

They were both _done_ with the world. Hurting and worried. They were _done_ with carrying the weight of the world, of creating a future of peace and hope, on their shoulders. So they did the only thing they could about it.

They danced the night away to distract each other from the ghosts of past and present lurking everywhere.

/

Two days later a funeral was held for Jocelyn and others who were killed during the attack. And yet again everything and everyone seemed to be falling apart. Alec figured that he should’ve gotten used to it by then.

Jace obviously hadn’t slept well since the attack. Tears shone in his already red eyes. Some spilled the moment Clary broke down to sobs.

Simon and Luke, or Magnus, weren’t allowed to attend. Jace blamed himself. So Clary stood beside her mom alone and barely managed to choke out the late woman’s name. It clearly took everything she had, and almost more. When Jocelyn’s soul began its journey to heaven the redhead practically collapsed to Izzy’s waiting arms, sobbing inconsolably.

Alec noticed, for the first time, a ring on Mikael’s left hand. It was a symbol of the oncoming union between a Downworlder and a Shadowhunter, it was a symbol of peace. It was also a symbol of what Alec wasn’t allowed to have or even want.

Alec swallowed in a futile attempt to chase away the bitter taste in his mouth.

/

In the meantime Valentine sneered. “So they’ve set a date for the travesty, then?”

One of his men nodded. “It’s quite soon. If we want to stop it we have to act quickly...”

“Why would we do that when they’re setting the perfect arena for showing exactly what comes out of such a union? We’ll prepare ourselves. And then we’ll give them a wedding gift no one will forget.” Valentine’s eyes flashed. “They challenged us, and they’ll lose. Their stupid little plan will backfire on them.” For as long as he lived there would be no peace between Shadowhunters and beings that belonged to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I want to smack them, too. (groans and rolls eyes) Those poor dears! Let’s hope that this mess can be sorted out happily.
> 
> Thoughts? Comments? Rants...? PLEASE, do leave a note! Hearing from you always makes my day.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that you’ll all join in for that one.
> 
> Take care!


	6. Dramas of Past and Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When one of the most painful ghosts of Magnus’ past returns, Alec is forced to confront present feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s right, people! I’m updating. (grins) Hooray?
> 
> Oh, my dear gosh... THANK YOU, a million times over, for all your comments and support! You have no idea how much they mean to me, and how much I needed them. (HUGS)
> 
> So, to avoid stalling... Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.
> 
> TO AVOID CONFUSION... SOME EVENTS HAPPEN IN A DIFFERENT ORDER IN THIS STORY THAN ON THE SHOW. AND SOME EVENTS ARE ALTERED OR REMOVED. Because artistic liberties. (grins)

One morning a couple of days after Jocelyn’s funeral, Izzy insisted that she’d cook dinner for her two older brothers at the Institute’s kitchen. It was her attempt at helping them with heartache. They definitely should’ve known better than to accept. Perhaps Jace did, because he was a no-show. And as much as he loved his sister, her constant questions about Magnus only made Alec feel worse.

Eventually it got too much, and he snapped. “Iz, stop it!” He regretted his harsh tone and went on considerably more softly. “I’m not talking about this anymore.”

Unfortunately ‘stubborn’ was Izzy’s middle name. “Then you’re going to listen.” She went on when she was certain that she had his full attention. “Alec, I love you. Don’t tell this to anyone, especially Max, but you’re my favorite person in this world. And I can’t stand watching you sabotaging your chance to become happy.”

Alec... had no idea what to say to that. He looked down, towards what Izzy claimed was a stew. (He preferred not trying to determine what it looked like.) “You know as well as I do that I can’t have what I want.”

Izzy sighed heavily. “You’re too stubborn for your own good, did you know that?” She went on before he could protest. “When you care about someone as much as I know you care about Magnus, you can’t just give up on them. At least thank him for bringing you home the other night.”

Alec nodded slowly. “I promise to thank him.” But nothing more. “If you promise to never try cooking again.”

Izzy punched his shoulder playfully. “Hey! It’s not that bad.”

“It’s somehow burned and uncooked at the same time.”

The light atmosphere was shattered brutally when Alec received a message from Jace. He read it twice, with a frown on his face. And felt his blood run cold.

‘ _Get to the interrogation rooms, Aldertree’s crossed a line._ ’

/

Something about Magnus’ apartment... It made a person feel like they were home. The very air inside it was like a comfort blanket. Mikael was almost sure that it had everything to do with the loft’s owner.

Evening had already darkened while Mikael worked on a dinner. A tiny smile appeared to his lips at the by then familiar sound of a portal. “Right on time. You’d already left when I woke up and I got a feeling that you haven’t had anything to eat today. So...” He offered the other a fork-full. “Macaroni and cheese? I’m trying to get used to the food around here.”

No matter how little or much time they’d get together, it’d never stop aching him how surprised Magnus seemed whenever someone attempted to look after him. After a moment of shock the man accepted the food. And shuddered barely visibly.

Mikael winced. Well, he’d never been destined to become a chef... “That bad, huh?”

Magnus cleared his throat, mirth flickering in his eyes. “I appreciate the gesture, truly. But... Cooking may not be your strongest area.”

Mikael chuckled. Unoffended by a simple truth. “Think you can magic it better?”

Magnus snapped his fingers. Afterwards they both reached out to grab an experimental bite. To find themselves leaning closer to each other.

Magnus’ warm breath sent a tingling sensation down Mikael’s spine when the warlock gasped. The Shadowhunter held his breath. Every single cell in his body wanted to lean forward but he held back. Waiting for the older man to make the first move. And bracing himself for a... negative outcome.

Magnus gulped with visible effort. Unreadable eyes were fixed on their hands that were as close to touching as their lips. “Mikael... There’s something...” The warlock never got the chance to finish.

They both groaned when there was frantic knocking on the apartment’s door. Once it’d been opened Alec and Jace entered, dragging along a barely conscious man. “He... said that there’s no other place he could imagine going”, the archer explained.

Magnus’ pain and sorrow were palpable when he took in the injured man’s condition. “Oh, my poor boy...! What happened to you?”

Reacting to his voice, the man lifted his head slightly. And tensed up upon discovering Mikael. Clearly the stranger wasn’t comfortable with having a Nephilim around when he was at his most vulnerable.

“Mikael won’t hurt you, I promise.” Magnus took a deep breath. “Mikael, this is Raphael, the leader of the city’s most influential vampire clan. Raphael, this is Mikael, my fiancé.” Before those words sunk in properly the man’s hands were glowing with healing magic. “Now, help him to the living room.”

/

Lately Jace’s heart and head had been full of guilt and pain. To his shame, he had to admit that it’d kept him from feeling his parabatai’s ache. But standing there beside Alec, while they watched Magnus healing Raphael... He saw it loud and clear.

The affection... The longing... The self-hatred... He’d never seen Alec look at anyone the way his brother looked at Magnus.

Getting to see Magnus’ nurturing side clearly triggered something Alec didn’t know how to handle.

“Alec.” Jace was mindful to keep his tone so low that the men in the living room wouldn’t catch it. “You have to tell him.”

“Tell him what?” Alec clenched his jaw. “Besides, he’s getting married to someone else. See those matching rings?”

Jace fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Well, he isn’t married yet.” Thoughts of Clary made him feel like he’d been cut with a knife. “Take the word of someone who really can’t be with the one they want.” _For several reasons, now_ , he mused with disgust. And wondered if the feel of Jocelyn’s blood on his hands would ever fade away. “If there’s even the slightest chance... You’ve gotta fight for it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Alec had never been a particularly good liar. He could tell that the archer was mulling over his words. And very likely overthinking them.

While Magnus finished up tending to what injuries he could, Alec took a step forward. There was dread and determination on the young man’s face. Jace would never know what his brother might’ve done.

Because just then there was knocking. Followed by Simon’s voice. “ _Magnus, are you in there?_ ” And for a few moments chaos ensued.

Magnus managed to keep the two vampires from attacking each other. Once the two calmed down a little they heard the whole story. Including Aldertree’s torture and threat.

Mikael’s eyes flashed. “I agree that Camille needs to be found and stopped. But not like this. I’ll have an official talk with Aldertree, as a representative of the Clave.”

Jace nodded. “Alec and I will come with you.”

“Actually...” Alec hesitated, but only for a second. “I’d rather go with Magnus and Simon. Considering how dangerous Camille is, they may need backup.”

No one in the room seemed surprised. Which, for some reason, surprised Alec. While Magnus talked with the vampires Jace headed towards the door. And saw that Mikael approached his parabatai. “Look after him. Keep him safe.”

Alec nodded firmly. Something beyond stubbornness in his eyes. “I will.”

Jace noticed the way Magnus inclined his head. Giving away that he heard every word. He wished that the older man’s face would’ve been turned his way, so he would’ve seen the reaction the brief talk sparked.

Jace also noticed the identical looks in the eyes of Alec and Mikael when they watched Magnus. And how Alec gritted his teeth when Magnus and Mikael exchanged soft, whispered words upon parting ways. Jace had been forced to watch enough romantic movies by the members of his book club to know that there was far more drama to come.

/

The place they found was unlike anything Alec had ever seen before. If it wasn’t for the possibility of a hostile vampire’s presence, he might’ve admired it. His fascination was also dimmed by what being there, with obviously painful memories, did to Magnus.

True to the promise he gave Mikael, Alec kept a close eye on the warlock. When the older man wandered off he followed. To find the other scowling at a painting of himself and Camille. “... always got my bad side ...”

For a second Alec stood there. When it became apparent that he wouldn’t be told to go away, he took a step closer. “Look... If being here is too much...”

Magnus sighed, looking down. “Camille and I... We have a lot of history.” He then lifted his gaze, focused on the vampire in the painting. “It saddens me what the woman I once... knew turned into. I wish that I could’ve saved her.”

“Hey.” Alec frowned, hating the air of grief hanging above the man he... (He cut that thought sharply. Now wasn’t the time for... that.) “You can’t save everyone.”

“Neither can you. But still we keep trying.” Magnus smiled wryly. “I guess we have that in common.”

Alec’s hand twitched. Then, without his active consent, it was reaching out towards the older man’s. Magnus seemed to sense his intentions, because the warlock’s hand twitched in a response. They almost touched and held on. Almost.

Until Simon screamed. Shrilly. “ _Magnus!_ ”

Magnus withdrew like he’d been scalded. Then rushed towards Simon’s voice without looking back. Leaving Alec feeling breathless, achy and frustrated.

By the time he made his way to Magnus and Simon the two seemed to be wrapping up a talk. Magnus had clearly forced sternness on his face. Simon... was beaming. Somehow that touched Alec more than anything else. Seeing the impact the hundreds of years old man had on those around him, including the archer himself... It did things to Alec he was far from comfortable with, because they were wrong.

They returned to Magnus’ apartment with Camille’s grave dirt, two hearts aching from how desperately they tried to keep them closed.

/

As he far too often did, Magnus knew perfectly well what had to be done. And that it’d hurt, possibly more than he could bear. So he chose to handle the inevitable like he’d taught himself to face all the disasters in his life.

Alone.

Simon and Raphael left eagerly to get ingredients he supposedly needed from Catarina, glad to get rid of Camille. Alec followed the two far less enthusiastically. Just when Magnus was about to get started Mikael called.

“ _It’s going to be a paperwork chaos, but if you need anything... At all... Let me know._ ”

People wanting to be there for him... Magnus had no idea how to handle it, because it was such a foreign concept for him. Pushing people away when he was hurting... Now that, he was excellent at. He answered so convincingly that he almost fooled himself. “I will.”

Magnus took a deep breath. Bracing himself for something awful. The events which followed... were worse than that.

Far sooner than he would’ve been ready for it Camille was there, as beautiful and tempting as always. Dressed in red, which according to him and probably countless of other past lovers was her color. He’d grown past the desire to be with her and make her love him a lifetime ago. But knowing that this would be the last time he’d ever see her still weighed on him heavily.

Even when Camille was locked into a cage, her smile was full of confidence. “What would you have in this world without me, Magnus? Those pretty little Shadowhunters you’ve been seen with will wither and die.” She stepped closer to the bars. “I’m the only one you can count on to stay, forever and always. That’s why you keep finding me.”

For just a second Magnus allowed her to see his true emotions. “This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done”, he admitted. “But those to whom I’ve sworn my protection... I’d do anything for them.” He doubted that she would’ve ever cared about anyone like that.

Camille’s smug expression affirmed his theory. “You’ll choose me”, she stated. “Because without me you’ll end up all alone. For all eternity.”

Magnus wanted to snort at the bitter irony. (If only she knew...) Instead he looked at her, memorized every detail. “Goodbye, Camille.”

The reality of things finally hit her. Shock transformed to an almost pathetic mixture of rage and fear. “I thought you loved me!” Right there, in that moment... Camille sounded so convincingly wounded and in love that it left his mind reeling. “Don’t do this!”

A million memories of their time together filled his mind in a flash. Of the good times, when she was a different person. Before years wiped away the last of the humanity she’d had left. As little as he liked to admit it even to himself, a tiny piece of him would forever belong to that person. A far bigger part of him reminded him that the deed had to be done. Because she was a monster who had to be stopped before she’d cause even more damage.

And he was the monster to do that.

Unable to look, he flicked a wrist. Ignoring Camille’s pleas, he sent her to face a death sentence or a life in prison. The apartment was horribly silent afterwards.

Magnus gasped, his eyes closed when emotions threatened to get too much to bear. It didn’t strike him until at that moment how thoroughly he’d started the process of sealing his heart closed. How little he’d felt for a very long time, aside the few stolen moments when Alec managed to sneak in through the cracks. He bit his teeth together when a tear rolled down his face.

Camille was past redemption, of course he understood that on a level of reason. But she was also one of the people who’d had the most impact on his life. For all the agony she put him through, she also saved his life, once. Doing this to her... It was far from easy.

Magnus was so overwhelmed that he didn't feel someone’s presence until steps approached him. He tensed up, despite knowing full well that few enemies would’ve been able to slip past his wards. Peering over his shoulder, he tensed up further.

Alec stood a few steps away. Somehow managing to appear defiant and insecure all at once in his Shadowhunter pose. The warlock’s tears, which he didn’t manage to blink away despite Herculean effort, clearly made the young man feel uncomfortable. But Alec didn’t walk away, didn’t even look away. Instead the archer approached him slowly, giving him more than enough time to protest.

Magnus was so tense that it made his muscles shake. This, letting someone see him so vulnerable... It just wasn’t something he did. His mind screamed at him to ask the Shadowhunter to leave. So he could get drunk and smash things in solitude before proceeding to act like he was perfectly fine. At least he should’ve wiped away his tears. Instead he found his body turning slowly towards the younger man.

Alec did something the archer definitely hadn’t expected himself to do as well. Deliberately slow again, so they both had the chance to stop what was coming, the young man wrapped his arms around him. With the kind of gentleness he’d most likely only ever shown his family.

At first Magnus stiffened, hesitant to accept the unconditional support. In the end he relaxed to the touch, too exhausted to pretend that the part of him that was still capable of feeling didn’t need it. His acceptance made Alec grow bolder and the Shadowhunter’s embrace tightened. As though the archer was attempting to seal him against the entire world and its woes.

It’d been a long, draining day. On top of emotional strain Magnus used a lot of magic on portals, healing Raphael, sending Camille away and other things. It didn’t help that he couldn’t remember the previous time he slept properly.

When his knees buckled Alec caught him with a small sound of alarm. “Woah, hey...!” Shockingly gently the archer led him to a couch. “Let’s give you a moment to catch your breath.” Surprisingly the Shadowhunter kept hugging him even after they were sitting down safely.

It was... over a century, at least, from the last time someone had held Magnus like that. He’d forgotten how good and deviously intoxicating it could be. His body gave in while his mind was still in a state of chaos. Instead of fleeing or putting on a show of ‘I’m fine’ he leaned his head against Alec’s shoulder in effort to hide that he was still crying. Perhaps Alec knew, anyway. Because the archer pulled him closer still. He clung to the younger man’s shirt in return. Neither was willing to break the embrace.

For Magnus was certain that as soon as they’d let go, Alec would pull away from him emotionally once more. And Mangus would swallow the bitter rejection, then continue to head determinedly towards his wedding day. For the sake of both their people. Once their embrace was over they’d remember that not giving in to their desires was for the best.

Right now Magnus had someone he could’ve loved holding him after a traumatic experience. So he didn’t have to resort to alcohol and smash things until the pain would be bearable. Surely that was enough? Because it was more than he deserved.

/

An hour later Aldertree tensed up behind his desk when Mikael appeared to his office. Accompanied by five other Clave representatives. “What’s the meaning of this?” he snapped.

Mikael lifted his chin. “Quite soon I’ll get married to secure peace between Shadowhunters and Downworlders. Because thanks to Valentine and his followers things are so tense that we’re on the brink of a war. All that considered, do you have any idea how stupid it was to torture one of the most influential Downworlders? Do you have any idea how much damage you could’ve done?”

Aldertree didn’t get the chance to defend himself. Because Jia Penhallow took her turn to step forward, her face a mask of stone. “Under these circumstances, Clave can’t afford to condone torture. Therefore, you are now dismissed from your duties as the head of the Institute.”

/

It was Izzy who found her brother and Magnus, alarmed when she couldn’t get a hold of Alec. Her heart swell several sizes and she had to bring a hand to lips to avoid producing something audible. If her eyes grew a little moist... Well, she didn’t care.

Seeming oblivious to the rest of the world, Alec combed his fingers lovingly through Magnus’ hair. Judging by the mess the warlock’s strands had been transformed into, he’d been at it for a while. The whole time her brother whispered something so softly that she couldn’t catch it. The visibly shaken older man couldn’t hear, either, since it looked like he’d fallen asleep a while ago. Whether the archer knew as much was anyone’s guess.

Either way, it was a shame that it all went unheard. Because she’d never seen that look in Alec’s eyes before. And she knew that he’d never said something as honest and important.

Simon, who’d accompanied her, opened his mouth but Izzy was quick to silence the vampire. Careful to make it soundless, they retreated and closed the door. Leaving the two to enjoy the moment they’d stolen from the world that was determined to keep them apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Malec-train is starting to pick up speed. Hiccupping along the way, but still. (smiles) Oh, those poor darlings have a mad ride ahead them...!
> 
> And yes, people, done right and with the right person, a hug can be a million times more intimate than any kiss. (grins)
> 
> SOOOO... Was that any good, at all? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS brighten my days.
> 
> Until next time, folks! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	7. Of Angels and Hell on Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions run high and secrets come out while a piece of Valentine's plan unfolds. Alec faces one of his worst nightmares, and it doesn't end well. Is Magnus hiding something?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! This chapter took me a tiny bit longer to complete than I imagined it would. BUT, here we are! Yay?
> 
> THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for all your comments and support! I’ll never be able to express properly how much they mean to me. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay... Are you ready? Because here we go! Let’s see what feels and insanity await...

When Alec woke up he couldn’t figure out where he was immediately. He opened his eyes quickly and let them wander around, until he recognized Magnus’ apartment. Which didn’t help him relax at all. He never meant to...

It was around then he realized that the warlock wasn’t in his arms or even on the couch anymore. His gaze scanned through the room while he frowned. “Magnus?” When there was no reply he almost called out again. Until he felt cool night-time air, and noticed a mug of coffee on the table in front of him.

Alec contemplated his options and realized that he had two. To walk out and pretend that nothing happened. Or to face Magnus and make sure that the older man alright after the day’s events.

Slowly, wondering if he was out of his mind, Alec took the mug, stood up and headed to the balcony.

Thunder rumbled while Alec stepped outside, to find Magnus leaning against the balcony’s railing. The man was too deep in thought to notice him, which gave the archer an opportunity to sneak out. Instead he cleared his throat. “I, ah...” Too many words planned on rolling off his tongue and got it tangled. “Thank you, for the coffee. How long did I sleep?”

“Only for half an hour, perhaps less.” Magnus tried to smile but it didn’t look right. The warlock appeared embarrassed. “Consider the coffee my apology, for you having to see me... like that.”

Alec’s brows furrowed. “Magnus, you were hurting. I’m glad you didn’t have to go through that alone.” He went on when the other’s only visible reaction was a momentary scowl. “Camille is a monster, but... She’s clearly important to you.” He did his best to hide a ridiculous bout of jealousy.

It didn’t happen in a second or even two. But slowly all façade left Magnus’ face. The warlock looked down towards the world below. “She wasn’t always a monster.” The older man hesitated and refused to look at him upon continuing barely audibly. “A very long time ago I was in a... bad place. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t see a way out. Eventually I found myself standing on a bridge.”

Horror and grief wrapped around Alec’s throat. His lips opened. But as it turned out he was speechless.

Magnus went on, a vacant look in his haunted eyes. “Camille was the only one who cared enough to help me that day, and she saved my life. Once I felt better, I vowed to return the favor somehow. But, in the end... The more time passed by, the less of the person I came to love remained. And... I couldn’t save her. Even all my love wasn’t enough.” Sorrow radiated from the smaller man in waves.

It took all Alec had to fight back urges to do things that would’ve led to nothing good in that delicate situation. “It wasn’t your fault that she refused to be saved”, he pointed out quietly, uncharacteristically softly. He looked away, uncomfortable with how much and strongly he was feeling. “For what it’s worth... You saved me. Your words kept me from entering a marriage that would’ve been a mistake. And...” He contemplated his next words carefully. Wanting to give himself away fully but not quite daring to. “You shouldn’t make that mistake, either.”

Magnus’ shoulders sagged. (Alec recognized the weight entirely too well.) The man’s eyes, still fixed on the city instead of him, darkened. “For centuries my people have been persecuted, hunted and butchered by the likes of Valentine. I’ve fought to protect them, but... I haven’t been any more enough for them than I’ve ever been for Camille. There are so few of us left.” The warlock sighed heavily. “Now... I finally have a chance to secure their safety, to do something that’ll hopefully be enough.”

A bitter taste settled to Alec’s mouth and refused to leave. “So a sham marriage... That’s a price you’re willing to pay?”

“I’d pay any price for the sake of my people. Just like you and Mikael would for yours.” Magnus shrugged. “I’ve made my peace with how things must be.”

“You said that I unlocked something in you.” Alec wasn’t ready to give up yet, even if he was hurting worse with each new sentence. No matter how painful it was to see that whatever it was he opened was firmly shut once more. “Was it this easy to just... lock it again, and throw away the key?”

“Do you honestly imagine that there’s anything easy about any of this?” Magnus sighed heavily. Somehow appearing old beyond his years. “Alexander, I’m sorry I ever said those words to you. Because now I know that my heart... It’s been broken too many times, and... It’s tired, cold and hollow. For a moment I dared to hope that perhaps it could open properly for another person, but...” The warlock interrupted himself and shrugged. “Sometimes life just doesn’t go the way you want it to.”

It was so frustrating that Alec wanted to scream. They were running around in circles. Saying too much and not enough at the same time.

Alec opened his mouth. So very close to admitting things he was only just starting to admit to himself. But he didn’t get the chance to utter a thing.

Because just then Magnus saw something in the horizon that made the man’s eyes widen a fraction. Facing the same way, Alec mimicked the gesture.

A bright beacon of light shot up towards the sky, towards heaven.

“What the...?” Alec muttered. He never had the time to finish that question. Because just then he received a fire message from Jace.

‘ _Clary and I saved an angel. He shoved us something important. Come here and bring Magnus with you._ ’

Magnus seemed as stunned by the news as the archer felt. “Well. Hundreds of years, and you Shadowhunters still continue to surprise me.”

Alec couldn’t avoid the smile that fond comment brought to his lips.

They were just about to leave when Alec spoke up before deciding to do so. “Magnus, wait.” He felt his features soften in a way they only ever had in the presence of his family. “What you told me, about Camille... Thank you. Sharing it couldn’t be easy.”

Magnus shrugged, not quite succeeding in making it nonchalant. The older man’s lips opened. But in the end he only nodded, saying nothing.

Alec frowned as he watched the warlock opening a portal. “You’re... not feeling that way anymore. Right?” It was incredibly hard to imagine the vibrant, powerful, larger-than-life person he thought he knew finding no will to go on. How many more secrets were hidden behind that masterfully created image?

Magnus smiled. It almost reached his eyes. Whatever connection and openness there was between them for a moment, the line was closed. “I’m fine. I... apologize, for making you bear me like this. Camille tends to bring out my over-dramatic side.” Before any protests or questions could be voiced the older man went. “Now let’s go, Shadowhunter. It appears we have a fascinating story to hear.”

/

And fascinating it was. The rest of them listened in disbelief as Clary and Jace recounted the baffling tale. “You... were able to create unique runes?” Mikael asked in astonishment. “And communicate with an angel?”

“Why would the angel choose you?” Izzy demanded.

“I don’t know.” Clary seemed scared, and lost. She was only just sucked violently into a world that’d been kept from her all her life. Since then she’d lost her mother and discovered that she was a homicidal maniac’s daughter. Now this. It was easy to tell that it was all getting too much to take in. “I don’t understand any better than you do.”

“I may have some idea. Although... This is something incredibly rare.” Magnus mused for a while. “According to Silent Brothers, some very few Shadowhunters share a... special connection with angels. To cut a much longer story short, it’s because those Shadowhunters have pure angel blood.”

The rest of them were stunned into a silence. Jace recovered first, with a small but warm smile aimed towards the redhead. “So, you’re somehow even more special than we thought.”

“I’m glad that Clary was able to hear and save the angel.” Mikael’s brows furrowed. “But why did Valentine capture him in the first place? It should go against everything even he believes in. What was he hoping to accomplish?”

“That’s what we need to find out.” For once Alec was on the same page with his stepbrother. The fact that something far bigger than infuriating relationship drama was going on helped clear his head. At least momentarily. “Izzy, Clary, I’ll arrange you a visit to the Iron Sisters tomorrow. Based on that vision this definitely has something to do with the Soul-Sword. We need to know what Valentine is planning on using it for before he figures out how to activate it. Thanks to the angel we finally know something he hopefully doesn’t. Let’s try to stay a step ahead him.” His gaze strayed not exactly subtly towards Magnus. “The safety of the whole Downworld depends on it.”

“It’s not just Valentine and Circle members we need to keep an eye on.” Magnus’ eyes flashed, betrayal loud and clear in their depths. “To pull off something like this, he would’ve needed dark magic. And the assistance of at least one warlock. We have no idea which ones of them and Shadowhunters are traitors, so we need to be very careful with who we trust outside this group.”

The silence which fell was that of grim agreement. That night Jace and Clary achieved something phenomenal, something previously unheard of. They won a battle. But the war was far from over. When Mikael wrapped a protective arm around Magnus’ waistline, Alec yearned to do the same. Sensing his stare, the older Shadowhunter met his gaze. Under a thick layer of jealousy their eyes held firm agreement.

They’d both fight to the death to protect what was important.

/

A few hours later Alec was drained, emotionally and physically. The memory of Magnus going home with Mikael didn’t help, at all. After completing the necessary paperwork all he wanted to do was hide in his room until he’d get his unwanted feelings sorted. Those plans were derailed when his parents announced that they wanted to talk to him.

“What Valentine did and what he almost accomplished... It’s a heinous crime. And such that demands Clave’s immediate attention. Several more representatives are on their way here, along with reinforcements to help us take down Circle before it’s too late.” There was a disconcerting amount of determination in his mother’s eyes. “Lydia is also coming. And despite the humiliation you put that poor girl through, she asked about you.”

Alec tensed up. He wasn’t comfortable with where this was going, at all. “We parted on friendly terms, you both know that. Why are you bringing up that topic?”

“We need to finally talk about the wedding you first arranged, then cancelled, properly.” There was a bizarre mixture of sternness and apology in his father’s eyes. “Mikael is doing his duty. And it’s high time you stop being a child and do the same, like you originally planned to.”

Alec felt like air had been sucked out of the room. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t pretend that he was the flawless son his parents imagined him to be. He couldn’t hide the fact that there was something horribly wrong with him. And it might cost him his family. He looked at them with the despair of a trapped wild animal, his eyes stinging hellishly. “Enough”, he wheezed, mostly to himself. He'd had enough of the secrets and lies, there were enough of those everywhere around him these days. “I can’t...!” He trailed off.

His mother appeared confused and appalled. “Alec, what are you saying? I understand that you may not feel ready yet. But it was your own idea, and Shadowhunters tend to marry young...”

“What if it’s not something I’ll ever want? Deep down?” Alec was scared out of his mind. Of facing their judgement and disappointment. Of losing them and their love. But living a lie was eating him up from the inside, piece by piece, killing who he was slowly and painfully. “What if I can’t...?” He hated how small and broken his voice was when he went on. “What if I can’t give you what you’re expecting of me?”

His parents looked at him with deep frowns on their faces. Both tensing up. “You’re not making any sense. What are you talking about?” his mother demanded sharply.

Alec swallowed thickly. His eyes stung while his whole tall frame began to tremble pitiably. This was the most terrifying thing he’d ever done. Well, excluding walking out of his own wedding. He’d never let down his parents before, and to start like this... “I can’t marry any woman, because it’d never make me happy. And we’d both feel lonely for the rest of our lives.” More vulnerable than he’d been even as a child, he begged them to understand with his desperate gaze. He needed them to see that he was the same person he’d always been, even after the words he was about to drop on them. “I’m gay.” With just three words he pulled the rug from under the life they’d crafted for him. (From the life he’d already accepted, because he’d never dared to dream of deserving better.) With just three words he possibly lost two of the most important people in his life.

A second passed by. Then another. And then those words hit home.

His father looked away, something like disgust on his face. As though the very sight of him was unbearable. Somehow the way his mother stared at him was worse. A physical blow would’ve hurt less. “First the wedding... And now this...” She shook her head. At whatever ugliness she saw in him all of a sudden, at the reality she refused to accept. “This isn’t you...!”

“Yes, this is me!” Alec’s voice broke, just like his whole world was falling apart around him. This was exactly what he’d been afraid of...! “This is who I’ve always been! I’m just letting you see all of me for the first time!”

His mother shook her head again while her lips opened for words she might not have regretted later. His father cut her short. “Maryse, calm down. I’m sure that this is just a phase he’ll grow out of...”

She glared at them both, finally focusing on her husband. “Don’t you dare try to reason with me!” she hissed and inhaled sharply a couple of times. “I can’t look at either one of you right now.” With that she stormed off.

Alec felt like someone had plunged a blade through his chest, and it took all his willpower to not break down entirely.

His father sighed heavily. The man appeared as disappointed as his mother, but at least less hostile. Alec gulped laboriously when their gazes met. “It’s not a phase”, the young man pointed out in a small voice. If he’d get at least one of his parents to understand, then maybe this could be a remotely bearable experience. “This... This is who I am. And it’s not going to change.”

His father ran a hand down his own face. “This is about that Downworlder, right?” Their eyes met again, and no knife in the world would’ve been able to cut the tension between them. “In your childish infatuation, I must urge you to remember that he has his duties and role to play. And unlike you, he’s taking them seriously. His wedding day is approaching. The more attached to him you get, the more it’s going to hurt you.”

Later, much later, Alec would recognize the guilt and remorse in his father’s eyes, would understand just what he was being warned of. But in that moment... All he could focus on was the agony gnawing at him. He wasn’t able to force down the lump in his throat. “This isn’t about Magnus. This is about me. And I... I will always be like this.” He sought for even the faintest trace of understanding and acceptance. “I’m still your son like this.” It sounded a lot like a plea.

His father clenched and unclenched his jaw, barely facing him. “I need to go and check up on your mother”, the older Lightwood then announced. And walked away.

Standing there all alone, Alec felt more like a disappointment and ashamed of himself than ever in his life. His shoulders slumped under the new weight crashing on them. From all the emotional pain he nearly experienced physically as well he didn’t notice the lone tear that rolled down his cheek.

Furious at his parents and disappointed in them, but loathing himself far more, Alec dropped his gaze to the floor. His hands fisted so tightly that it hurt. “I’m sorry”, he whispered, his voice full of despair.

/

The following morning Catarina entered Magnus’ apartment to encounter a sight that made her heart swell several sizes. Mikael was fussing around a breakfast while Magnus rolled his eyes fondly at the attention. Just before heading towards the Institute the Shadowhunter placed a spontaneous, chaste kiss on the top of the warlock’s head. It was over so quickly that she wasn’t sure if her best friend even noticed it properly. It was the kind of domesticity she knew Magnus had secretly yearned for all his life.

“He’s good for you”, she pointed out when it was just the two of them.

There was a sad edge to Magnus’ tiny smile. “I wish I was as good for him.” He grimaced when she reached out towards a batch of fresh of muffins. “I... wouldn’t recommend that. Mikael baked those and I haven’t had the time to magic them to an eatable state yet.”

Catarina smirked. Then sobered. “I got your message. So you’re throwing the wedding earlier than originally planned?”

Magnus nodded, his facial muscles tightening. “Valentine is planning on something to honor that occasion. Our best chance at catching him is not giving him enough time to get prepared properly. The Institute’s new head of security, Sebastian, is overseeing the arrangements.”

Alarm tingled deep under Catarina’s skin. She didn’t like the risks this whole plan involved, at all. Or the way her friend spoke Sebastian’s name. “You don’t trust him.”

Magnus huffed a small laugh. “Right now, I don’t trust almost anyone.” He met her eyes with the kind of a look that made her stiffen further. “But I do trust you. That’s why I need to talk to you about something important.”

/

A couple of hours later Magnus was in a desperate need of fresh air, so he headed to his balcony. And froze. Wondering if he was seeing things.

Because there, sitting on his fire escape, was Alec. He had no idea how long the archer had been there, but the youth’s whole tall frame was trembling. With a constantly deepening frown Magnus took in badly damaged, still bleeding fingers and knuckles. As well as a reek of alcohol that carried all the way to where he stood.

At that exact moment his phone started ringing. He picked up quickly, as though afraid that the sound would startle Alec. Izzy’s tone was frantic. “ _I hate bothering you like this, but... I should take off to see the Iron Sisters and I can’t find Alec. After yesterday, with Valentine..._ ” She trailed off. “ _This isn’t like him, and... I’m worried._ ” Under different circumstances her care would’ve been heartwarming.

Magnus stared at Alec for a few seconds, his heart aching and breaking. Then remembered that he was on a phone and Izzy was waiting for a response. “He’s here, and he’s... alright.” Well, that was almost true, right? “I don’t think he’ll be coming back today, though, so try to come up with an excuse for him. I’ll call you back later.”

“ _Okay._ ” Izzy breathed in a shuddering sigh and he could feel how badly she would’ve wanted to demand further answers. “ _Magnus... Thank you._ ”

Magnus hung up at that. Then approached the visibly shaken Shadowhunter slowly. “Alexander?”

He hadn’t thought that the younger man had noticed him. Until Alec gulped, refusing to meet his gaze. “I... I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to go.”

/

At around the same time a breakfast picnic was about to begin at a park. “Madzie, sweetheart! Breakfast is ready.” Iris Rouse frowned when the child failed to comply. “Madzie, didn’t you hear...?” She peered over her shoulder and trailed off. Her blood ran cold and she could’ve sworn that her heart skipped a beat.

Madzie sat on the ground, playing happily. But the little girl wasn’t alone. Four heavily armed Circle members surrounded her. And a man she recognized reluctantly lounged on a nearby bench. “Mr. Morgenstern”, she acknowledged stiffly. “What can I help you with?”

Valentine continued to stare at Madzie pointedly. “Children... They’re the most precious gifts that can be given to us. I’m sure you agree.” So suddenly that she shivered his eyes clashed with hers. “We’d do anything to keep them safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy... This doesn’t sound promising, right? (grimaces) Poor Alec! And Magnus, too. The worst is yet to come...
> 
> Soooo... How was that? Enjoyable at all? PLEASE, do let me know! It’d SERIOUSLY mean the WORLD to me to hear from you. Especially when I’m clumsily attempting to sort of rewrite bits of canon... (smirks sheepishly)
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	8. Spell-Drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang learns a shocking truth from the Iron Sisters. While they try to decide what to do things get unnecessarily dramatic when outside forces interfere...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what? Inspiration struck BIG TIME and this chapter basically typed itself ahead of schedule. So... Ta-da!
> 
> First, though... THANK YOU, a million times, for your AMAZIGN comments, love and support! You have no idea how much they mean to me. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay... Are you guys ready? Things... are going to get a little dramatic. I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride!

Alec definitely didn’t mean to spill out everything that happened between him and his parents. But alcohol... has a funny way to loosen one’s tongue. And he needed to let out some of the pain before it would’ve crushed him. On one of the benches of Magnus’ balcony he did just that.

“I’ve been afraid of what would happen if I’d come out for years, and now...” Alec snorted bitterly and wiped his eyes when they stung. “Now, all those fears are coming true.” He was losing his family. His career would likely come next, if the word ever got out.

Magnus’ hand twitched but didn’t grab his. “I understand what it’s like when one’s own parent resents what their child was born as. And believe me, as much as you’re hurting right now, you will survive. Even if it may take your parents a while to... process your revelation, you’re not alone. You have siblings and friends who care about you, very much. Just before I found you Isabelle called.” The older man tilted his head. “You should call her when she comes back.”

Alec loved his sister. But honestly... He wasn’t sure if he was ready to talk to her just yet. If he was ready to hear all the questions she would without a doubt have. “You said that you understand... my situation.” What a lame way to call it... “How?” Despite all the drinking he’d done, he hoped that he sounded curious rather than hostile or suspicious. The last thing he needed was to cross a line and scare off another person he cared about. (Cared so much that he had no desire to look further into it, because the intensity terrified him.)

Magnus was silent for a long while, so tense that the warlock almost trembled. “My mother... When she found out that I’m the son of a demon, she took her own life.”

An expression of sheer horror appeared to Alec’s face. “Magnus... I’m so s...”

Magnus shook his head, a soft, sad look in his eyes. “There’s no need to be sorry for something that happened hundreds of years ago, Alexander.” The man breathed in deep and did his best to offer a smile. “I never got the chance to prove to my mother that I’m worth loving. But your parents haven’t stopped loving you, they haven’t given up on you. Give them some time. They’ll come around.”

Alec wished that he could’ve been as optimistic. In that moment he needed support more than he ever had in his life. Throwing his caution and a lot of other things to the wind, he leaned his head against Magnus’ shoulder. “I’m sorry”, he mumbled, humiliatingly close to passing out. At least he had the consolation of suspecting that he’d probably remember none of this later. “I made you sad, too.” He felt it radiating from the centuries old man in waves.

The archer couldn’t be sure. But he could’ve sworn that a pair of tender lips kissed his hair. “Stop apologizing for things that are in no way your fault, or I’ll smack you.”

“No, you won’t”, Alec argued, perhaps a little petulantly.

“No, I won’t”, Magnus confessed.

Alec couldn’t quite bring himself to smile. But he felt considerably better. And tired. He yawned, snuggling closer to the smaller man without noticing it. “You’re warm.”

Magnus chuckled. “You think so because it’s cold out here. We should go back inside.”

Something ridiculously close to panic sped through Alec. He didn’t want to go back inside. Because as soon as they would, the small comfort of this moment would fade away. Magnus would probably tuck him in and then slip away. He wasn’t ready to lose this closeness yet. To face the apartment where Mikael’s things were scattered here and there, a solid evidence that he couldn’t get what he wanted. “I want to stay a little longer”, he half begged, half whined.

Magnus huffed affectionately. “Alright, then.” The warlock snapped his fingers, and all of a sudden Alec felt much warmer. “Better?”

“Hmm.” Alec’s eyes slipped closed, stress and alcohol proving to be too much. “... know what ‘u said, but... am sorry... For not being ‘rry I came.”

Mercifully Alec passed out before getting to know what Magnus’ response would’ve been. Or perhaps unfortunately. “I’m sorry that I’m not sorry, either”, the man whispered barely audibly.

/

That evening Alec was still sleeping on a couch, having drained himself physically and emotionally. Magnus spent far more time than he would’ve liked sneaking longing glances towards the young Shadowhunter. Eventually he did what he’d been planning on doing that morning and retreated to the balcony. Almost as soon as he stepped there he froze. Feeling a tingle, something like a warning. Was there an intruder?

Intense mewing distracted him soon enough. Magnus smiled fondly upon seeing several cats running towards him. He greeted them in his sweetest voice, using French. And was pleased to discover a red addition to the usual lot. “Well, hello. You’re new.”

He’d just fed his little herd when his phone started to ring. It was Mikael. Magnus picked up instantly, despite not looking forward to having to share the news of their house-guest. “Hey. Is everything alright?”

Mikael’s heavy sigh promised nothing good. “ _Not... exactly. The Iron Sisters revealed something we all need to talk about. In a secure location._ ” The Institute, which swarmed with Valentine’s spies, clearly wasn’t one. “ _Izzy... said that Alec’s probably already there._ ”

Magnus tensed up. He wondered how much he could explain without Alec’s consent. “He is.”

That was all that needed to be said. “ _Good. With Valentine out there, I’m glad you’re not alone._ ” That Mikael clearly meant his words didn’t make Magnus feel better. (Oh, how he wished...) “ _I’ll be there soon with Clary, Jace and Izzy. And Simon, apparently. He showed up when Clary wasn’t answering his calls._ ”

Magnus couldn’t help but smile. It was nice to know that someone looked out for his Biscuit. “I’ll... see you soon.” He hesitated. “Mikael...” _Be careful. I’m sorry. I wish things weren’t such a mess._

“ _I know._ ” It was so soft that he nearly missed it. “ _See you soon._ ”

After the call Mikael inhaled several deep, steadying breaths. Then pocketed his phone. Just as Izzy laid a hand on his shoulder. “Mikael...”

“I’m fine.” This, whatever was going on... It could be sorted later. At the moment they had far more important matters on hand. “Now let’s go and share the news.” The day just got better and better...

/

Alec woke up feeling horrible but better than he’d feared. And figured that he owed Magnus a favor and a thank you for preventing the hangover he definitely should’ve had. Hearing steps, he opened his mouth to offer just that. Only to stop when he opened his eyes to see Mikael.

The older Shadowhunter looked back with something very close to a glare. “We’re after one of the biggest threats our world has ever faced. And you decide that this is a good time to get drunk out of your mind?” The man raised a hand as soon as he narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth. “Save it. We have more important things to discuss.”

Alec tensed up, remembering Clary and Izzy’s visit to the Iron Sisters. He turned his head. Magnus stood in front of a window, his back towards the rest of them. Simon, who stood near the warlock like seeking comfort, looked very pale, even for a vampire. Izzy, Clary and Jace didn’t seem to be in better spirits. “What’s going on?” the archer demanded.

Clary swallowed loudly. “The Sword... It has a use not many people know of.” She trailed off for a while. “If it’s activated... It can kill every single Downworlder within its reach. Instantly.”

Alec stared. Praying to the Angel that he hadn’t heard right. “What?”

/

Magnus was too deep in thought to pay a lot of attention to the ensuing conversation. Despite it getting louder and louder. He drummed his fingers against his upper arm, feeling physically ill.

Valentine... He was even more dangerous than they’d imagined in their worst fears. He might actually achieve what everyone had imagined impossible. He might destroy the whole Downworld. If he wouldn’t be stopped, quickly.

Magnus tensed up and forgot to breathe when without a warning Valentine’s face appeared to the window’s reflection, right next to his. “The days of your people are numbered, warlock. Because I will find a way to activate the Sword. And you don’t have what it takes to stop me.”

Magnus might’ve gotten lost into the hallucination. If he hadn’t felt something just then. The tingling of his wards. They didn’t alert him of Valentine, but of another warlock.

What was going on?

Magnus turned around with a frown on his face. Just in time to see Jace marching to the balcony. Clary’s eyes followed the blonde’s every step. In return Simon observed the redhead. “Just go after him”, the vampire finally snapped, with uncharacteristic sharpness. "You always do."

Clary frowned. “Simon, what...? Where did that come from? He's my brother!”

Magnus’ attention was soon claimed by other matters, when the voices of Alec and Mikael continued to grow louder. Nasty accusations were thrown back and forth. It culminated to what, apparently, was the crux of the bitterness.

“... don’t even love him!” Mikael snarled.

“And he will never love you like you love him!” Alec hit back.

Magnus stared. Wondering if he was stuck in a particularly bad episode of a reality drama. Or had everyone gone insane?

In his head Valentine laughed. “Do you see? This is why I’ll win. People are far too easy to distract and manipulate.”

A confrontation that was far more dangerous took place at the apartment’s balcony. Jace had headed there to get some fresh air when watching Clary and Simon together proved to be too much. Unfortunately it seemed that she wasn’t going to allow him an escape.

Jace sighed heavily, his shoulders tensing up and dropping from defeat, when he felt her presence. Wind carried the scent of her perfume to where he stood. “I’m not trying to avoid you.” How many times had they started a conversation like this already? “I’m just...” By then he’d turned to face her. He frowned upon realizing that she was crying and glaring at him with such raw hatred he’d never encountered before. “Clary?”

“You’re a murderer, Jace.”

That... wasn’t what he’d expected. His mouth went dry but he tried talking, anyway. “What...?”

Clary didn’t give him the chance to finish. Her jaw clenched while the first tear rolled. “I thought you loved me! And you... You were too weak to keep that demon from possessing you. I just got her back, and now... Now she’s gone again. You took her from me.”

Jace wanted to beg her to stop. But he couldn’t find the strength or breath for that. “I know”, he breathed out instead, tears of his own starting to form.

“I lost my mom because of you.” Clary took a step closer and he wished he could’ve taken a matching one backwards. “Demon blooded.”

Jace shuddered like he’d been struck, and she wasn’t finished.

Clary was trembling so hard that she could barely stand. “You... You killed her, Jace!” she screamed, her voice full of rage and heartbreak. “How can you stand there, looking at me in the eye, when you should be dead instead! You’re nothing but a failed experiment!”

There wasn’t a single word in her rant that wouldn’t have crossed his head a million times.

Whatever rational thoughts Jace might’ve had... They vanished when his heart shattered to tiny pieces. Thoughts, such he’d fought his hardest to run and train away from, took over his mind. And he couldn’t stand their horrible weight any longer.

With the decision finally made, it was easier to breathe. Jace’s legs and whole body were almost eerily steady while he climbed to the balcony’s railing. With his back towards the rest of the world, the wind felt like a soothing caress. He swallowed thickly but it did nothing to erase the lump sitting in his throat. “Clary... I’m sorry.”

In actual reality, Clary had been trying to ask if he was okay. When he first approached the railing, then stood on it, she demanded answers, then begged him to step away. Her eyes were wide from horror as she watched Jace spread his arms. Her mouth opened the exact moment he began to fall backwards. And she screamed while dashing forward, her hand reaching out helplessly.

Back inside the fight between Mikael and Alec intensified. By the time fists were swung Magnus finally snapped out of his own trance and interfered. He threw himself between the brothers. “Stop it!” he snarled. “Both of you! How are we supposed to focus on defeating Valentine if we fight each other? What the hell has gotten into you?”

“Into everyone”, Izzy scoffed, and threw a loudly speaking glance towards Simon, who was glaring at the open balcony door.

There was no telling how volatile the situation could’ve gotten. If Clary’s voice hadn’t reached them just then. “JACE!”

Clary’s frantic tone was more than enough to have them running. Alec screamed as well when they barged to the balcony just in time to see his parabatai fall. Mikael gasped while Izzy cried out her brother’s name. When Clary dashed forward Simon reacted quickly and held her back as tightly as he dared to.

Magnus activated his powers without wasting a second. Just before it would’ve been too late blue magic reached out and grabbed Jace like a security blanket. They couldn’t be sure how the young Shadowhunter might react to being rescued, so the warlock sedated him before laying him down, gently, gently. “He’s okay, merely sleeping”, he hurried to reassure the others, mainly Clary and Alec.

That brought a semblance of peace on the group. For a few seconds. Finally released from Simon’s hold at a sharp command from herself, Clary rushed to Jace and pulled the unconscious blonde to her arms. Tears trickled down her cheeks while she fought to catch her breath. Simon watched her with wide-open confusion, jealousy and heartbreak. Similar emotions could just be seen in Izzy’s eyes, unnoticed by everyone, including herself. Fueled by fresh adrenaline, Mikael and Alec were snapping at each other once more, with Izzy growling at them to stop.

Magnus saw Valentine from the corner of his eye, smirking icily. “Do you see, warlock? They’re pathetic. And you’re going to lose.”

It took all Magnus had to ignore the criminal. To remind himself that with his wards high up, there was no way such a threat would’ve been able to breach his home. All the noise made his head pound, especially with how hard it was trying to fight something. Or someone.

At last he recognized the feel of another warlock’s magic.

“Magnus?” Alec’s eyes were full of concern. “Jace is going to be okay, right?”

Magnus nodded firmly. “Yes. You’re all going to be okay”, he swore, then went inside. Towards where his spell-book was hidden. Needing the nightmare to be over, he headed back out as quickly as he could. Never noticing the cat following his every move.

Until he’d already cast the counter-spell. He felt an unpleasant tingle. Different wards, those designed to protect his spell-book, protested when another warlock’s powers tried to reach out for the object.

That was when out of the corner of his eye, he saw the red cat he first spotted that morning.

Magnus’ eyes, his true golden ones, flashed. “Clever”, he hissed under his breath. “But not clever enough.”

/

Transforming to a cat wasn’t one of Iris Rouse’s proudest moments. But then again, over the course of her very long life she’d also stooped far lower. And there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t have done for Madzie.

For a torturous while she could only keep watch. That tedious relationship drama... She could barely stand it. Eventually she had no other choice but to cast a spell in hopes of speeding things up. The situation wasn’t ideal. There were several Shadowhunters and a very powerful warlock present. But Valentine wasn’t a patient man and she didn’t want to cross him.

For a little while it looked like her risky plan might work. The book was right there, within her grasp. And Iris reached out eagerly. Only, the second her magic touched it a horrible, painful current of energy struck through her. By the time she recovered a little she was still at Magnus’ apartment, in her human form.

Iris had mere seconds to react. In a desperate attempt to escape, she shot out magic and froze the people already moving to attack her. They did stop – except for one.

Iris didn’t have enough time to create a portal, so she did something far more humiliating. She ran, dodging Magnus’ attacks every other step along the way. She wasn’t fast enough. His magic wrapped around her so tightly that she felt like she was being choked.

“Iris Rouse. I should’ve known that eventually you’d crawl out of whatever hole you’ve been hiding in.” Her blood ran cold while she stared into a pair of intense cat eyes. Yes, this was definitely the son of a Prince of Hell. “This is my home. And my most prized possession.” His face morphed to a chilling kind of amusement. “I’ve never thought very highly of you. But I wouldn’t have expected you to be this stupid.”

Iris gasped desperately. “... you going to ... kill me?”

Magnus’ eyebrow bounced up. “Kill you? Well... I’m tempted to.” He tilted his head. “However... I think I’ll send you to the Clave instead. They should have just the place for someone like you.”

Panic surged through Iris when she imagined herself in a cage... “I’m aware... of your... problem...” She wheezed. “I can... help.”

Magnus was unimpressed. “No, you can’t. And even if you could, the only person you’d ever help is you.” He nodded towards the people frozen behind them. “Now release them.”

Iris didn’t exactly have a choice. As soon as she’d complied Magnus loosened his hold on her. Just enough to make a point. She took her chance to for once do something selfless. “There’s... a child... A young warlock. Madzie. Valentine... He took her...”

“We’ll do everything we can to find her. Not for you, but to guarantee her the life she deserves. A serpent like you isn’t going to poison an innocent child with her influence.” Magnus lifted his chin. “You’re Clave’s bother, now.” With that verdict he sent her away.

/

Half an hour later Robert Lightwood was pale while he finished reading a fire-message from Magnus. “Bane’s apartment was attacked. There were no casualties or injuries on our side. But a rogue warlock was caught. He thinks they’re closer to finding Valentine.”

“Good.” Inquisitor Herondale’s face betrayed no emotions, sans palpable coldness. “It means that we’re one step closer to ridding the world of Valentine.”

Robert shook his head. What he only just heard... “If I knew everything earlier...”

“Then what?” Herondale gave him a long, sharp look. “Can you honestly say that you wouldn’t have accepted the cost of achieving a greater good? We considered all imaginable options. And this was the one most likely to guarantee the best possible outcome.” She glanced towards the five other people in the room. “Are we all still in agreement?”

“Yes”, they chorused, reminding Robert of mindless robots.

Robert clenched his fists. “They deserve to know...”

“If they knew, they wouldn’t do what needs to be done.” Herondale’s eyes flashed. “If this information leaves this room, we’ll know that there’s only one who would’ve leaked it. And there will be dire consequences. Understood?”

“Understood”, Robert acknowledged through gritted teeth.

/

At a no-longer abandoned carnival area Dot smirked upon seeing the frustrated fury on Valentine’s face. “She didn’t manage to get you the book, did she?” She did tell him that it was well-protected. “You can’t activate the Sword. And even if you could, you wouldn’t be able to use it without...”

Valentine gave her the kind of a look that silenced her immediately. And made her regret her momentary defiance. (Almost.) “Perhaps some sacrifices are worth making to achieve a greater good. You can smirk all you like, warlock. One way or another you and the rest of your disgusting kind are doomed.” He then focused on a little girl, who was playing nearby, and added volume. “Soon we have a wedding to attend, Madzie. Do you like weddings?”

Madzie nodded and smiled at him, then continued to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy... So, what, exactly, is going to come soon? (gulps) At least Valentine didn’t get the book! One small win for the good guys?
> 
> Soooo.... How was that? ANY good, at all? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS brighten my days.
> 
> IN THE NEXT ONE: The gang tries to sort out the emotional fallout of Iris’ stunt. In the meantime both the wedding and Valentine’s attack loom closer...
> 
> FROM NOW I’LL DO MY BEST TO UPDATE EVERY SATURDAY.
> 
> Until next time, folks! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	9. To Love and to Cherish...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang tries to sort out the emotional fallout of Iris’ stunt. In the meantime both the wedding and Valentine’s attack loom closer than close...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got WAY bigger than I planned! (chuckles) I hope you guys don’t mind.
> 
> THANK YOU, so much, for all your comments and support! (HUGS) It means THE WORLD to me that you’re making this at times beyond frustrating journey with me and our boys. (chuckles)
> 
> Awkay... Are you ready? Because here we go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.

While Iris caused a suitable amount of distraction, Valentine and his crew paid the Iron Sisters a visit of their own. The first of the women went down easily. Cleo met him with wide, horrified eyes. Whatever admiration she once felt for him and his cause was long gone.

Valentine smiled frostily. “Long time no see.” He reacted instantly when she twitched, and had the Sword held against her throat. It was almost pleasurable to see the way she reacted upon recognizing the item. “Now... If you want to die quickly and painlessly, you’re going to tell me everything you told Clarissa and Isabelle. And remember, you can’t lie.”

Cleo fought and resisted. But couldn’t defy the Sword. “I... I know how to... activate that thing.”

/

Silence and a great deal of awkwardness lingered after Iris had been sent away. Like true Shadowhunters, Alec and Mikael reported the incident immediately. Magnus’ eyes swept towards where Clary and Simon were talking. A few moments later they told everyone goodbye and started to leave. His heart ached for them both when the redhead tried to take the young vampire’s hand and he dodged it, subtly but deliberately. Once they’d left his gaze strayed inevitably to the left, where Mikael was talking to a phone. Simon and Clary weren’t the only ones who needed to sort out some things.

“Magnus?” He peered over his shoulder to find Alec. Who stood one step too close for either of their comfort, a hand raised in a temptation to touch. “Thank you, for saving Jace. I... I don’t know what I would’ve done, if I lost him.”

Magnus nodded slowly. For a second his eyes drifted to the archer’s lips, until he snapped himself out of the momentary slip-up. Things were the way they were supposed to be, and he’d keep them that way until the bitter end. “He’ll be alright, now. The spell’s impact seems to have worn off completely. But you shouldn’t leave him alone for the rest of the night, just in case.”

“We won’t.” Izzy’s voice startled them. She gave him a grateful smile before shifting her attention to Alec. “You’re... coming with us, right?”

Magnus could practically feel the young Shadowhunter’s internal conflict. “Alexander, I’m glad you came to me in your time of need.” He did his best to not think too much of it, to not entertain pointless wishes. “But you should go home, now. Your parabatai needs you.”

For a moment, just one, Alec’s lips opened and the man’s tall frame tensed up from a step that wanted to be taken forward. But in the end a look of frustration took over the archer’s face and he nodded instead. “I’ll... see you tomorrow.”

The tension between them thickened at those words. Because they both knew exactly what’d happen the following day. Silently deciding to not fight the inevitable, they didn’t exchange another word.

Watching Alec walk away, Magnus reminded himself that he was doing the right thing. Still... He watched through a window how the three siblings walked down the street. When they disappeared from sight he headed towards his drink cart.

Mikael had beat him to it. The man held up two glasses. “I don’t know about you, but I think tonight calls for a martini. Or several.”

Magnus smiled wryly. “You read my mind.”

/

At the Institute Jace, Izzy and Alec all lay on the blonde’s bed. In a way they hadn’t done since they were kids. They were all exhausted but none could sleep for a variety of reasons. Silence had lingered for quite a while before Alec finally broke it. “What happened today...” He glanced towards Jace. “Are you okay?” His parabatai was keeping his feelings locked and tightly to himself, like never before. He hated it, and wondered with sorrow if Jace felt as bad when he shielded himself.

“Alec, it was the spell. I’m fine.” It might’ve been more convincing if Jace wasn’t audibly shaken. “I’d never...”

“Can you honestly say that?” Because while he’d been too overcome by his own emotions at the time, Alec now remembered Jace screaming at him to ‘do it’, once. When they fought shortly before his failure of a wedding with Lydia. Even the strongest of spells couldn’t conjure up such feelings, such dark impulses, from nowhere. It terrified him how willing Jace was to throw his life away. Like it didn’t matter to anyone. He swallowed thickly. “If... you ever feel that way... You need to tell us. Because we can’t lose you.”

“Exactly.” Izzy took Jace’s hand and held on tight. “We’ll do whatever it takes to help you.”

Jace was silent for an unnervingly long moment. Then nodded. “I will.” The blonde sighed heavily. “You want to help me? Then help me take down Valentine. I just need this nightmare to be over.”

“Amen to that.” It was very clear that they wouldn’t get anything out of the hurting young man that day. So Izzy steered the conversation elsewhere. “Since we’re talking about feelings... Are _you_ okay, Alec?”

Alec nodded stiffly. This wasn’t something he wanted to share. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because we thought that we’d have to tear you and Mikael off each other’s throats”, Jace snorted. He felt the look his parabatai gave him, even if he glared at the ceiling. “Look... I don’t know what Maryse and Robert said to you, but you deserve to be happy. You need to tell Magnus...”

“What difference would it make?” Alec hated how bitter and petulant he sounded. “He’s getting married tomorrow.”

“Maybe”, Izzy conceded. “But we all know that it’s not with the right person. And you should make him see that.”

“Like you should tell Simon why you were glaring at him and Clary the way you did today?” Alec snorted.

So, yes. When it came to their emotions and love-lives, the three siblings were a mess. But at least they had each other for support.

/

In the meantime Simon’s heart was heavy while he made his way towards home. Clary begged him for a chance to talk, but he wasn’t ready for it. Perhaps he was under a spell, but the jealousy he experienced and the reasons for it were blatantly obvious. And he needed to do some thinking before he could process it all with his girlfriend.

He was almost home when all of a sudden, on a tiny and empty street, a little girl stood in front of him. Simon was confused until she spoke. “He says that you know where nana Iris is.”

Suddenly he remembered the warlock child Iris mentioned. “Are you Madzie?” At her nod he smiled. “Hi. We were planning on looking for you, to make sure you’re okay. We should...” He didn’t get the chance to finish.

Because without any warning Madzie lifted a hand and whispered a spell. One moment Simon stared at her, his mouth hanging open. The next he slumped to the ground, fast asleep.

Madzie watched his unconscious form for a while. Then looked over her shoulder towards Valentine. Her gaze asked for instructions.

Valentine shook his head. “No, sweetheart, you don’t have to kill him. He may turn out to be very useful for us.” He lay a hand on her shoulder. “You did well. Soon you’ll have your nana back.”

Madzie smiled proudly.

/

The scent of herbal tea was heavy but pleasant in the kitchen while Magnus and Mikael nursed their mugs. In the light of a new morning the previous day’s events felt like a horrible nightmare. Unfortunately the damage done to the loft, which Magnus hadn’t had the time and energy to fix yet, spoke differently.

Mikael sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “So... I suppose I said... some things.”

Magnus nodded slowly. “That spell enhances feelings and fears, but it can’t create them.” The warlock grimaced. “I’m sorry if I’ve done something the lead you on.”

Mikael shook his head immediately. He was the one who got careless with his heart, not Magnus. “You haven’t done anything wrong. Neither of us has. It just happened, and I’ll deal with it like a mature, grown man.” He took a sip of tea and wasn’t even surprised that it was perfect. A sense on longing curled up and made a home in the pit of his stomach. “Probably with some... or a lot of alcohol, when Valentine’s dead or behind bars.”

Magnus tensed up at the sound of that name. “Let’s hope that we still have a future to sort out when this is all over. With Valentine planning on stealing the show as an uninvited wedding guest and all.”

Mikael looked towards the older man with surprise. “You... still want to go through with it? What about Alec?”

The archer’s name made Magnus stiffen. “The less we get him involved, the safer he’ll be. It’s already bad enough that you’re in danger and I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you.” The man shrugged and focused on his tea. “Besides... To be with me Alec would have to take the kind of a leap he’ll never be ready for. I’ve made my peace with that a while ago. Not that it’d matter. He’s made adamantly clear that he doesn’t harbor any feelings for me. Which is probably for the best.”

Mikael was about to point out that he wasn’t so sure about Alec having no romantic feelings. But it didn’t feel like a good idea to keep stirring the already painfully complicated situation. “For what it’s worth... I’m not intending to let anything happen to me. Or you.”

Magnus seemed to be at a loss of words, or holding back what he would’ve wanted to say. Eventually the warlock took his hand and gave it a tender squeeze. Mikael returned the gesture without any hesitation.

And so their wedding day began.

/

The whole Institute was in a state of chaos early that evening. Without any warning Downworlders were attacking mundanes all over the city. They’d almost definitely been brainwashed by Valentine. Whether the attacks were a statement against the wedding or a distraction was a mystery. It was unnerving to not know something so vital.

In any case mundanes couldn’t be left unprotected. So great many Nephilim left to help them while far too few remained to secure the ceremony that’d soon start. Alec was among the latter, so tense that his whole body hurt. Which... quite possibly wasn’t solely because of Valentine.

And as though by invitation, the source of his emotional conflict appeared. Wearing a dark-blue tux along with a hint of gold on his hair and eyelids to combine the Shadowhunter and mage colors, Magnus was stunning. Definitely someone ready to get married. He’d never seemed more alluring, and more out of Alec’s reach.

Magnus was also in the middle of a heated discussion with Inquisitor Herondale. Alec’s eyebrows furrowed while he observed the far from friendly exchange. The second the two parted ways the archer’s feet found a will of their own and made their way to Magnus. “She looked even sourer than usual. What was that all about?”

“I told the other Downworld leaders that Valentine may attack the wedding, wielding the Sword. In my opinion they have the right to know, since they’ll be in attendance. She disagreed.” Magnus very pointedly didn’t look his way while ordering an elevator. “I... was wondering if you were out on patrol.”

Alec almost blurted out that he needed to be where he could keep Magnus safe. “I’ll do everything I can to make sure that you’re all safe here”, he assured. Then hurried to add. “We all will.” He licked his lips and went on, feeling uncharacteristically bold for a moment. “I... understand why you feel the need to do this.”

Magnus gave him a surprised look. Visibly wondering what he was up to. “It’s like I’ve already told you. I’d do anything to keep my people safe.”

It took all the courage Alec had. But after so long of having the man he cared about far more than he should’ve slipping through his fingers... “What if you could marry another Shadowhunter?”

Based on the way Magnus’ whole body language changed, he understood immediately what Alec meant. Just then the elevator gave a small sound, and the doors slid open. The warlock stepped inside hurriedly and met his gaze with visible difficulty. “Alec, please...! Even if it would be an option I could consider...” The man shook his head with an air of despair. “Let me go, for your own sake. Like I let you go. One day you’ll find someone who can make you happy, I promise.”

And so the doors closed between them. Leaving Alec feeling cold and hollow. Seconds too late he whispered. “What if I only want to be happy with you?”

/

In the meantime Izzy was in the middle of a patrol-round through the Institute when her instincts tingled, warning her of a threat. Reacting instantly, she whirled around and collided with someone. Whom she proceeded to take down. She had a blade ready in her hand until she recognized her supposed attacker and frowned. “Meliorn? What are you doing, we can’t...!”

“Listen to me!” he hissed and made sure that no one was eavesdropping before continuing. “I have to go to the wedding soon. Queen’s orders. But I must tell you something first, no matter how severely I’ll be punished later.”

Against her better judgement Izzy nodded, urging him to continue.

“The Queen has done everything under her power to make sure that Valentine walks into your trap today.” Meliorn seemed genuinely repulsed. “If he does... You cannot kill him.”

/

Roughly fifteen minutes later Magnus looked around subtly while walking towards an altar. The group of attendants was very small. The Clave wasn’t comfortable with too many Downworlders under their rooftop and Magnus announced firmly that he wasn’t happy with too many Shadowhunters ogling at him. Especially when some of them were definitely loyal to Valentine. He and Inquisitor Herondale reached an unhappy compromise and only a selected few from both sides received an invitation. Luke and Raphael gave him nods when he passed by, not agreeing with his decision but accepting his motives. Seeing them made him feel a little less alone and vulnerable.

Then he truly focused on the altar, to see Mikael. Just like all other Nephilim present, the younger man wore his mission gear, which included a double sword. It was for safety and protection. True, this was a highly political event, but they would’ve been fools to not be prepared. Mikael offered him a small, conspiratory smile and he couldn’t help but return it.

This might all end in a huge mess, but at least they were in this together.

After a small eternity Magnus reached his husband-to-be. Mikael took his hand as they turned to face the Silent Brother who’d wed them. Just then the room’s massive doors were thrown open. Everyone reacted, bracing themselves for Valentine’s attack.

Instead they saw Alec, who barged in with wide, wild eyes.

/

There were far too few Shadowhunters present at the Institute, considering what sort of an event was taking place and the threat looming above it. Perhaps Clary was new to her current, baffling world but she understood as much. So she was tense as she stood in the monitor room beside Izzy, eyes firmly on the screens. “Do you think Valentine is really going to strike today?”

Izzy inhaled sharply. “I don’t know”, she admitted. “It’d be stupid, because he has to know that it’s exactly what we expect him to do. But if he’s outraged enough... Maybe.”

It was like fate itself had heard those words. Because just then there was movement on one of the monitor screens. The one showing footage from the building’s main entrance.

Valentine stared straight at the camera with a chilling smile on his face, and he wasn’t alone. Simon seemed terrified while held against the criminal, a knife pressed on his neck. “ _Knock, knock, Clarissa_ ”, Valentine greeted.

“ _Clary, don’t...!_ ” Simon tried but was interrupted quickly.

“ _You wouldn’t deny your dear, long lost father a little visit, would you? In case you need further encouragement..._ ” With a swift motion that held no hesitation, Valentine slashed the knife across the vampire’s throat. Blood came gushing out. “ _I’m more than happy to let this filthy Downworlder scum bleed out. Are you? Or will you open the door for us?_ ”

Both young women shuddered when the room’s door was thrown open. “Someone just triggered an alert. What’s...?” Jace trailed off at the sight of Simon bleeding and struggling to breathe. “Shit...!”

Clary’s head spun and heart raced. As pleadingly as she stared at the screen the sight didn’t change. She hated the fact that she had only terrible choices.

/

Now, Alec had planned on a full, epic speech. Perhaps he was too late. But he needed Magnus to know how he truly felt, before the warlock would make the biggest mistake of his immortal life. And preferably before Valentine would show up to interrupt him.

Magnus stared back at him with visible shock. Under different circumstances Alec might’ve been proud of succeeding in catching someone centuries old so off-guard. As it was his mind and heart were in a state of chaos.

Oh, how he hoped that he wasn’t the one making a mistake...!

Then again... He couldn’t bear even the thought of losing Magnus. Especially like this. Eyes on the older man, he began to march towards the altar. With every step forward his certainty grew.

His father stood up when he was about to pass by. “Alec! By the Angel, what are you doing? Get out of here...!”

Alec’s eyes flashed. Full of all the hurt his father caused by walking away from him when he revealed who he truly was. “Enough”, he hissed. Enough of judgement, enough of being a disappointment. He wasn’t going to lose his chance to be happy for people who valued their family’s image over their own son.

Mikael whispered something to Magnus. The words carried to Alec so faintly that he wasn’t sure he heard right. “He’s taking that leap, now. Go and catch him.”

All those fancy words and speeches Alec had planned? All the people around him, some curious, others excited and many disapproving? All thoughts of duty, honor and doing what was right? They evaporated from Alec’s mind. Magnus took a slow, almost cautious step towards him. Which made the archer pick up speed.

In the end they didn’t exchange a single word. By the time Alec closed the distance between them he was barely lucid. He could only think of doing one thing. His heart thundered so fast that he feared it’d jump right out while he pressed his lips against Magnus’ and pulled the warlock close.

/

Clary dashed to motion before anyone got the chance to stop her. Jace didn’t blame her. Of course she couldn’t let her best friend and boyfriend die. He clenched his jaw, raw rage coursing through his veins. “I’m almost glad that he’s getting in”, he hissed. “Because I want to kill him with my bare hands.”

Beside him Izzy stiffened and hesitated. “You can’t do that. We need him alive.”

Jace stared at her in disbelief. “What are you talking about? Valentine is the biggest threat to our world right now! He’s... He’s willing to wipe out the whole of Downworld! And do you seriously imagine that any prison could hold him when he has allies everywhere? The only way to stop him is to take him down.”

Izzy looked at him with a clearly visible amount of emotional conflict in her eyes. Obviously this was something she wasn’t supposed to reveal. “We have to get Valentine alive”, she repeated. “Because... If he dies, so does someone else.”

/

Alec had never experienced anything so intense, so exhilarating. Magnus’ taste and the feel of the smaller man against him filled his whole mind. And all of a sudden it didn’t matter that he was sharing his first kiss with another man, who also happened to be a very high-profile Downworlder. He didn’t even care that he was possibly making the biggest mistake of his whole life. Nothing had ever felt so right.

They panted when they eventually broke apart but they didn’t quite let go of each other. Both men had their eyes closed, as though that would’ve spared them from having to face the harsh reality that’d follow the current euphoria. “Alexander...”, Magnus whispered. “What are we doing?”

Alec chuckled hoarsely. “I... have no idea. But I couldn’t let you...”

Magnus really, truly wanted to hear what Alec had to say. But at that exact moment he sensed something that chased everything else from his head. His wards, those protecting the Institute... They tingled a warning.

He gasped and tightened his hold on Alec protectively. His eyes flew open and darted towards Mikael, who seemed confused by the obvious change in his mood. “Valentine... He’s here.”

/

From up above and out of everyone’s sight Jonathan – or Sebastian, as far as people knew – watched the scene playing out. His eyes flashed while he took his weapon of choice and started the process of readying it. It wasn’t his favorite type, but he’d make do.

“ _Valentine just walked in_ ”, a tense, petrified voice announced through the device placed to his ear. “ _He seems to have a Downworlder as a hostage._ ”

“Handle the situation”, he advised. “I’ll oversee the ceremony.” As he spoke, the aim of his bow and arrow switched back and forth between Alec, Magnus and Mikael. Until he chose a target.

As soon as he’d uttered the final word, he let the arrow fly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh... crap. That DOES NOT sound good! (grimaces) How messy will the battle get? Also, we’re close to a revelation I’ve been building up towards through the whole story. You have NO IDEA how hard it has been to keep secrets from you! (chuckles)
> 
> SOOOO... How much do you hate me? Was the chapter ANY good, at all, at least, before that cliffhanger? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments always make my day.
> 
> THE NEXT CHAPTER IS CALLED ‘... Until Death Do Us Part’. (Which... seriously doesn’t sound good...)
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	10. … Until Death Do Us Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine finally makes his move. Will he be defeated? And if so, at what cost?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, people. THIS, is what we’ve been aiming towards from the start. And I’ve done quite a bit of subtle little foreshadowing. (winks) I have NO IDEA how you’ll feel about this (gulps) but there was no changing the course of this cruise-ship, so... Ta-da! (whistles innocently)
> 
> THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for your AMAZING comments, listings and love! You have no idea how happy it makes me that you’ve been sticking through this insanity with me. (HUGS)
> 
> Alright, folks... It’s go-time! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride! And I’m sorry...

/ _Valentine was the kind of a man who planned things ahead. Who did his best to foresee every imaginable outcome before making his move. But even he couldn’t predict a visit from the Seelie Queen herself, with two of her soldiers following her. “You’re hard to find, Valentine Morgenstern.” She went on when his men moved to take her down. “Tell those fools to step down. Do I look like I came to fight?”_

_Valentine would’ve very much liked to know how she found his base. (Who’d have to die for giving away his secrets to a filthy Downworlder.) But at the moment other matters were a priority. “Then what did you come here for?”_

_“I don’t care about what happens to the rest of the Downworld. But I want to keep my people safe. And I want to be alive when this silly war of yours finally ends.” She tilted her head, appearing deviously innocent with her child’s face. “Leave my kingdom alone, leave us alone. And I’ll give you something valuable in return.”_

_Valentine arched an eyebrow. More intrigued than he would’ve cared to admit. “What could you possibly offer me that I’d care about?”_

_“Guarantee my safety. And I’ll make you immortal.” She held a pause to let her offer sink in. “Isn’t that one of those things you’ve always wanted? One of the reasons you hate us all so much? To live forever, to be invincible. Don’t try to tell me that you wouldn’t do anything to obtain it.”_

_Valentine was tempted. But he was also the kind of a businessman who recognized a deal that was too good to be true. He lifted his chin. “Betray me, and I’ll make you suffer in ways you can’t even imagine.”_

_“Now that, sounds like the beginning of a lovely partnership.” She smiled sweetly. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t be able to lie to you even if I tried, remember?”_ /

/

It was like straight out of a nightmare.

Valentine marched into the Institute with a satisfied smirk on his face, dropping Simon to the doorstep. Jace didn’t have the time to do more than twitch before the criminal had already grabbed Clary. He moved to follow but she shook her head fiercely. “Save Simon! Jace, please...! Don’t let him die!”

Valentine snorted. “Why bother? He’ll die soon enough with the rest of them.” He tightened his hold on her. “And you, Clarissa... will have a front-row seat to watch it happen. After tonight this world will be a safer place for my children.”

All of Jace screamed at him to follow the two. But he couldn’t abandon Simon to die. He clenched his jaw and helped the nearly dead vampire sit up. “Come on. Drink. We need to save Clary.”

Simon obeyed with eagerness that quite honestly creeped Jace out. Bloodlust took over so strongly that it over-ruled reason. The blond tried to push his friend away, but his attempts were half-hearted at best. It was getting hard to think while his very life was sucked out of him.

There was no telling how badly it might’ve all gone wrong. If a voice hadn’t broken through their haze. “Simon, stop! Stop!” Where did Izzy come from...? “Simon, you don’t need more! Stop!”

And, surprisingly, the vampire did. Appearing horrified. “Jace, I... I almost...”

Jace shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.” They had far more important things to focus on. “We have to help Clary. And Valentine wouldn’t attack alone. His men are probably already here.”

As though on cue, several werewolves could be heard howling outside. In the dark it was easy to see magic glowing in several colors. Screams, those of agony and those of rage, echoed seemingly everywhere.

The noise was oddly hypnotic in its own chilling way. But it also meant that a battle had started. They couldn’t remain idle. While Izzy helped Simon up Jace pulled the door closed and bolted it the best as he could. “They’ll get in if they want to, but maybe this slows them down a little.” He dragged in a harsh breath. “Now let’s go.”

In the shadows Downworld rose to fight for its existence – and inside the brightly lit building Shadowhunters rose to fight by their side.

/

With the chaos hearing Valentine’s name caused no one noticed the arrow flying through the air. Almost no one. Just after he’d finished talking to an earpiece Mikael’s eyes widened a fraction and he jumped to motion when he realized that it was going straight towards the back of Alec’s neck. Someone reacted even faster. Magnus raised his hand and angry orange magic destroyed the item before it could harm either Shadowhunter.

Alec hadn’t gotten the chance to notice anything of what was happening. Mikael blinked with surprise. Then gave the warlock a grateful look. “Thanks.”

Magnus shook his head, his eyes softening. “No. Thank you.” _For almost doing this with me. For protecting Alec. For everything._ He drew in a deep, slightly unsteady breath. “And... I’m sorry...”

It was Mikael’s turn to shake his head. “No need to be.” The younger man then clenched his jaw, before focusing on Alec. “It was just confirmed. Valentine’s inside and he has a hostage.”

Alec shuddered before reluctantly breaking his embrace with Magnus. “Let’s move it. We have to stop him.”

On the last moment Magnus grabbed Alec’s wrist almost desperately, causing the archer to look at him with surprise. “Wait.” The warlock swallowed thickly. “I need to tell you...”

Alec cut him short, caught up by the threat looming over them all. “We’ll talk later, okay?” The Shadowhunter’s wrist slipped from his grasp, and immediately after the man was rushing away. “Try to stay safe, both of you.”

Magnus’ heart broke and thundered as he watched Alec running away, joining his people for a battle. On his lips the young man’s taste lingered. And on his tongue the words he would’ve wanted to say were incredibly heavy.

“Hey.” Mikael was watching him with a frown of worry. “Are you okay?”

Magnus smiled wryly. “No. Not really.”

Mikael was about to ask for a clarification. Until Sebastian made his way to them. “I found a bow and a couple of arrows, but the attacker got away.”

Mikael nodded tensely. “Let’s go. Valentine’s men are already swarming in.”

“I’ll reinforce the wards. There’s no keeping out those who have already made it in, but perhaps I can block the rest of them.” Magnus went on at his frown of protest. “I refuse to stand back when Valentine’s finally making his move. And it’s not like hiding would protect me if he succeeds.”

Mikael wanted to argue. But he knew that he would’ve been wasting his breath. So instead he reached out a hand and brushed Magnus’ cheek. For a second or two the warlock leaned to the touch and lay a hand on top of his, then dashed to motion.

A few minutes later Mikael and Sebastian were on their way to the lower floors of the building. By then they’d lost track on how many Circle members they’d taken down. But the flow of enemies was slowing down, hinting that whatever Magnus did to the building’s wards worked.

“This is just like when Ian was still alive.” Mikael’s voice was hoarse. Despite years having passed, remembering his late parabatai hurt. “He would’ve loved this chaos.”

Sebastian unleashed a small laugh. “Yeah.” The shorter man then swore, searching his clothes. “I think I’ve lost my stele.”

“Here. Borrow mine.” Mikael tossed the item towards the other.

Sebastian caught it easily. Only to find one of Mikael’s swords pressed against his neck as soon as he had. The taller Shadowhunter’s free hand grabbed the stele and pocketed it. “What are you doing?” Sebastian demanded.

Mikael snorted. “Don’t try to look innocent. You just confirmed what I’ve been suspecting.”

Sebastian, or whatever the man’s name was, lifted his chin. “What gave me away?” There was no point in acting anymore.

“Aside that you seemed to barely know me when I first arrived although we’ve worked in the same Institute? And you forgetting that your late best friend’s name was Owen, not Ian? You seem to have switched your dominant hand.” Mikael pressed the sword a little closer. “I’m taking you straight to the holding section. Once this whole chaos is over, I have a few questions. Starting from your real identity.”

/

/ _Magnus’ head was spinning after Robert’s proposal. So he was supposed to get married, for political reasons? With a Shadowhunter he didn’t even know?_

_He should’ve refused immediately and let Robert know exactly what he could do with the ridiculous idea. But then he remembered that Alec was getting married, too. That he had no hope of a future with the archer. And he asked for time to think instead._

_Magnus portaled himself to a country and a city far away, to a part of the world that had never even heard of the Lightwood family. Almost humiliatingly predictably he ended up to a nightclub. His plan was to drink even more than usual and dance the night away. It ended up working even more thoroughly than he’d been hoping._

_His last coherent memory was of himself kissing a tiny and incredibly beautiful, blonde-haired and blue-eyed Seelie. And trying to ignore how unlike Alec she was. Then he woke up in a hotel room he couldn’t recognize, to the rays of a painfully bright morning sun and a pounding headache._

_For a moment Magnus was confused. Warlock tolerance should’ve guaranteed that he didn’t get a hangover, so why...? The answer drifted to his foggy mind before his brain finished the question._

_He’d been drugged._

_Alerted by his sluggish movements, the culprit spoke up. “I apologize for having to resort to something like this.” The Seelie Queen’s child’s voice and face made her sound almost convincing. She was sitting on an armchair, and he felt a shudder while wondering if she’d been watching him sleep. “But we’re in a war. And sometimes, to win one... Sacrifices must be made.” She tilted her head. “How far are you really ready to go for your people?”_

_Magnus’ brows furrowed while the headache intensified. His whole body tensed up, bracing itself for a fight. “What are you talking about?”_

_“Take a look at your right upper arm.” She went on once he had, cautiously. To find a bizarre, Celtic style symbol. “That’s Seelie magic. Not as powerful as yours, but enough to bind your life-force to someone else's. For now the other person carrying that symbol is immortal because you are. But if you get close enough to each other physically... He’ll feel pain when you do. He’ll die if you do.”_

_Magnus felt cold filling his whole body. He’d always known that the Seelie Queen was crafty and that her morals were questionable, but this... “Why would you use something like this?”_

_“Because the other person I gifted with this symbol is Valentine.” The Queen seemed genuinely scared when she said the name. “This plan came to me when I heard about your possible future wedding.” (Trust her to have eyes and ears everywhere...) “He’s careful and plans his every move meticulously. But he wouldn’t miss out on such an event. You’d finally be close enough, in the same building, for the connection between you to function fully.”_

_Magnus felt sick. And it had nothing to do with alcohol or whatever he’d been drugged with. “He’d come close enough to be killed, by whatever means necessary. And you expect me to just die to take him down?”_

_The Queen shrugged. “Like I already said, I’m sorry for this. But in order to win a war martyrs are necessary. And with all the people you’ve charmed, you make the most impactful one. A groom sacrificing his life on his wedding day, to save his people and beloved... It’s the kind of a thing mundanes make pathetic songs and poems of.”_

_Magnus’ eyes narrowed while his heart thundered. It was chilling how eagerly a part of him was accepting her horrible plan. “I should kill you”, he hissed._

_“You can do that. But what use would my death be to you? You'd only have even more blood on your hands and no solution. I think you should ask yourself a question.” The Queen leaned closer. “With Valentine out there, preparing to take down the whole Downworld... Are you more valuable dead or alive?” Was she using magic again? Because he was listening despite not wanting to. “Valentine can’t be arrested, he has far too many allies out there and would be free again soon. He must be killed, before he butchers and hurts even more people.”_

_(What Magnus didn’t know was that outside the building, the Queen met with Inquisitor Herondale. “He didn’t accept your proposal officially yet, but he will. I saw the look in his eyes.”_

_A tiny but surprisingly heavy pouch was given to the Seelie. “Your payment, as agreed”, Imogen stated stiffly. “I trust that you’ll stay quiet about our arrangement.”_

_The Queen pocketed the pouch. “For that price, my lips are sealed. I’m surprised, though, that someone from your supposedly honorable family line would stoop this low.”_

_“Grief knows no honor.” Imogen’s eyes flashed. Full of hatred, pain and sorrow years had done nothing to lessen. “Valentine murdered my son and took away my light. I’m willing to do anything to ensure that darkness finally comes for him.”)_

_Magnus made his decision some time later, when he’d seen Alec once more to save the archer from dying because Valentine took Jace. No one was safe. In the middle of hurt and heartache he was also relieved that the Shadowhunter never made the mistake of falling in love with him. Never considered him worth that risk. It made facing the inevitable and silencing his heart easier._

_That day he called Robert and announced that he’d go through with the wedding. He also visited Inquisitor Herondale, who wasn’t happy to see him. “This had better be important...”_

_Magnus interrupted her. The faster he’d get this over with the better. “I know a way to destroy Valentine.”_ /

/

“So... About that kiss.” Robert cleared his throat, visibly uncomfortable. “I... didn’t realize that your spite towards your brother was caused by such fleeting infatuation.”

Under different circumstances his father’s squirming might’ve been amusing. As it was Alec clenched his jaw. “My sexual orientation isn’t some sort of a passing thing. It’s something I’ve been dealing with since I was a teenager”, he half-hissed. Funny how he almost wished to confront Circle members, so he’d get to punch someone. “And Magnus isn’t a passing thing, either.” He’d fought that slowly dawning realization with all he had, but no longer had the strength. As it turned out his heart was stronger than every single ounce of his reason.

He was too focused on other things to notice the startle in his father’s eyes. It took a couple of seconds before the older man spoke. “Are you in love with him?”

Now that, was something Alec only wanted to talk about with one person. “I care about him”, he admitted, pointedly not meeting the older man’s face. He had no intention to see the disappointment from his coming out again. “A lot.” Far more than was logical, considering how briefly they’d known each other. “I don’t understand why we’re talking about this right now.” Or ever. He had no desire to discuss about his possibly budding relationship with a man who’d made adamantly clear that he didn’t accept him for who he was.

Robert hesitated. “There’s something you need to know...” He didn’t get to finish.

Because just then the door they’d been working on opened, and they were face to face with four Circle members.

/

Clary was dragged to a room where several Circle members were already waiting. She watched in horror as Valentine pushed the Sword into a power-source. “You see, Clarissa...”, he started almost conversationally. “It took me a while to figure out how to activate it.” He pulled her closer still, ignoring her protests. “Today you’re going to see how far I’m willing to go to make the world a safer place for my children.”

“I’m not going to help you!” she snarled.

Valentine smirked. Then leaned to her ear. “I know you won’t. That’s why I’ll lure in someone who will.”

Suddenly something incredibly fast attacked. The mystery arrival took down at least three Circle members while Jace barged in to handle a couple of more. In a flash Valentine had been knocked down while she was caught by Simon’s familiar arms.

“Got you”, he stated with a triumphant grin on his face.

Clary almost returned it. Until she saw Jace marching towards the Sword, a determined expression on his face. Her eyes widened from sheer horror. “Jace, don’t...!” It was too late.

Jace’s fingers wrapped around the item. But it wasn’t destroyed. Instead it unleashed an outraged pulse of energy, striking the blonde to the floor. And it started to glow, fully activated.

Jace, trying to recover from his daze, stared at it in the worst kind of disbelief. “I... I was supposed to destroy it...!” He had demon blood. According to Magnus, the vision he and Clary received meant that...

“Your predictability has always been your greatest weakness.” The victorious look appearing to Valentine’s eyes was absolutely terrifying. “Starting from now...”, the man declared while approaching the weapon and raising it towards the ceiling. “...you get to witness history in the making. If it’s the last thing I’ll ever do, then so be it.” More of his men poured in and he focused on them. “Make sure that these three won’t interfere any further.”

Snarls of protest echoing behind him, Valentine marched out of the room. He’d almost made it to the end of the hallway before something struck his back, tackling him painfully. Peering over his shoulder with a growl, he found Magnus Bane. “Did you really imagine that no one else is willing to go as far as you are for their cause?”

/

/ _It was Dot who revealed the truth to Valentine. “That mark on your shoulder... It’s Seelie magic. To bind your lifeforce to another’s.”_

_Valentine froze for a second. Then glared at her with raw disgust. “Why should I believe anything that comes out of your mouth?”_

_Dot shrugged. “You don’t have to. But I thought you should know. If you actually destroy the Downworld... you’ll most likely end up killing yourself, too.”_

_Valentine could’ve reacted in a number of ways. Of all options he lifted his chin, and looked down on her with utter disgust. “If that’s true... A world without the likes of you is something I consider worth dying for.”_

_Dot raised one eyebrow. Feeling stupidly defiant. “What if the one you’re bound to is as determined to protect their people?”_ /

/

Magnus had thought about death a lot over the centuries he’d lived. He’d lost far too many loved ones, and great many times he’d yearned for mortality. Ironic, really, how his supposedly immortal existence would come to an end on a day when he would’ve wanted to live. While he could still taste Alec and a promise of something beautiful on his lips.

But he also knew that he needed to do this, so no one else would have to. The vision Jace and Clary got from the angel revealed that someone with demonic blood touching the Sword would destroy it. And the one touching it. He could rid the world of both Valentine and the weapon that posed a massive threat. No one like him would ever be safe while either of those two still existed.

On the floor Valentine realized what he was doing. The man’s eyes spotted the way he was moving, the pain radiating from his back. Understanding made the criminal’s eyes narrow. He now knew who he was connected to. “Disgusting warlock...!” he hissed, struggling to get up.

Some other day those words might’ve stung. As it was Magnus only felt numb. He barely even noticed his injured back anymore. “I’ve known that I’m an abomination since I was a child. Yet I’m not the one seeking to destroy half of the world I live in.” Valentine’s fingers reached out for the Sword, but he was faster. “I suppose there’s a special place in hell for both of us. My father did tell me that I’d return to him one day.”

Inside the room Jace and Simon were wrapping up a victorious fight against the Circle members. Clary burst into the hallway, and started to rush towards him to keep him from finishing the desperate deed. But it was too late.

Magnus’ fingers tightened around the Sword. This time the metal wasn’t glowing a bright light, but red. Like the item had been outraged over what he was doing. The warlock could’ve sworn that he’d been set on fire from the inside, the burning sensation reaching every little part of him. Magnus gasped, aching to unleash the howl of anguish his spasming lungs weren’t able to produce. Valentine did scream, most likely more out of wrath than agony.

Then it was over.

The Sword clattered to the floor and faded to dust. As though the impact had sealed the deal of destroying it. Valentine slumped down almost immediately after and lay unmoving. So did Magnus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... Crap. That just happened. (whimpers) As we all know from the show, the world WASN’T safe(r) before Valentine and the Sword were out of the picture. But I doubt any of us wanted them to be destroyed LIKE THIS...!
> 
> Let me hear ya! How much do you hate me? (smirks sheepishly) Thoughts, rants...? PLEASE, do drop a line or two, or however many you like! Hearing from you always makes my day.
> 
> Until next time, folks! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there. 
> 
> Take care!


	11. Stay With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine and the Circle have been defeated. But the cost is higher than anyone would’ve wanted to pay...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out a little shorter than those before. Buuuut, this may just be the heaviest... (winces)
> 
> THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for sticking around for this long! It’s been a MAD, emotional, and at times maddening journey. It means A LOT to me that you’re taking it with me! (HUGS) 
> 
> Okay... I’m not going to lie – this will probably hurt. Hang in there, folks! We’re heading straight into a turbulence.

Clary stared with wide, horrified eyes while Magnus collapsed to the floor and lay eerily still. She paid no mind to possible enemies lurking about. She didn’t hear Valentine mumbling her name. All she could focus on was hurrying to her friend’s side.

Simon was quick to accompany her. He appeared as shocked as she felt. “I don’t... I’m not sure if I can hear his heartbeat. Is he...?” The vampire couldn’t bring himself to finish.

Gently, gently Clary touched Magnus’ neck. The thrum beat of life was slow and weak, but it was there. Barely. She did her best to smile encouragingly when the man’s eyes cracked open sluggishly. “There you are”, she forced out. “I know that it hurts.” She didn’t want to even imagine how much. “But try to stay awake.”

Simon’s smile was as forced as hers. “Yeah. You’re the Duracell Bunny of warlocks. You’ll be okay.” The vampire focused on her. There was a flicker of panic and a whole lot of determination in his eyes. “I’ll go and get Catarina.”

Clary really hoped that he’d find Catarina quickly. Because Magnus’ breathing pattern had changed to the kind she didn’t like, at all. “The Sword?” he murmured.

Needing to at least try to make him feel better, Clary was about to take his hand. Until she saw the horrifying amount of damage holding the weapon had done. Instead she ran her fingers through his hair, like her mom often did when she was ill or sad. “It’s gone.” She shook her head while a tear rolled down her cheek. “Why did you...?” A cold fist squeezed around her chest when the man’s eyes started to flutter closed. “Hey, hey! Stay awake, look at me.” She placed a far from steady hand on the device by her ear. “Magnus is down, he destroyed the Sword. Someone get Alec here, now!” The archer would never forgive himself if he didn’t get the chance to talk to Magnus, before...

“ _I’m on it. What's your location?_ ” Izzy’s tone was pure steel. Only someone who knew her caught the fear and worry as well. “ _How bad?_ ”

Clary didn’t want to answer the latter question. She was already barely holding it together. “Hurry”, was what she settled for.

Relief surged through Clary when Catarina rushed to the scene. The older woman’s eyes widened from horror when she saw her friend’s condition. “By the Angel...!” Her hands were glowing from healing magic long before she’d knelt down. “Hang in there, alright?” The nurse got to work. But very soon her facial expression revealed that it was a hopeless task. No Downworlder could survive the kind of injury Magnus sustained. It was a small miracle that he was still holding on.

Almost affectionately Magnus pushed his friend’s hands away. His bleary eyes were full of apology and reassurance. “Ragnor... would yell at me... for doing this.”

The late man’s name filled Clary with guilt. She’d always meant to talk about what happened to Ragnor with Magnus, to apologize for it and for the way she reacted. Now it looked like she’d never get the chance to.

“If he’d be upset, do you have any idea how livid I am?” Catarina’s gaze held grief and frustrated fury. “But he wouldn’t be surprised. We’ve always known that you’re a self-sacrificing idiot.”

Magnus tried to smirk. It didn’t come out quite right. “... rude ...”

Catarina snorted. It sounded close to a sob. “My best friend is dying on me. I don’t think I’m the rude one.”

/

Jace hadn’t known Magnus long. But he’d seen that the warlock was a good man, who’d do anything for those he cared about. (This, if anything, solidified it.) He also knew how much Magnus meant to Alec. As well as to great many other people. Losing him like this...

“There has to be something we can try.” Clary wasn’t quite ready to admit defeat. “Would sharing strength help? Like with Luke?”

Catarina’s lips opened. Valentine was faster. “That piece of filth... wouldn’t let you fix him... even if you could, Clarissa... Because it’d fix... me too.” The dying man sneered. “Maybe I failed... today... but at least I’m taking... one of them with me.”

Jace pressed a blade against the man’s throat. “We may be your children...”, he hissed. “... but don’t ever speak another word to us.” Couldn’t the criminal just die already?

Valentine smirked up at him. And used his final words to utter something that’d spin Jace’s world upside down yet again. “You... are no son of mine... You’ve never been my son.”

/

While the Circle members started to close in on them Alec and Robert braced themselves. They were outnumbered. But they’d both faced worse odds before. The father and son exchanged sharp, determined looks.

Only, the battle never got the chance to truly start. Izzy stormed in like a hurricane, catching their enemies even more by surprise than them. She whirled around, visibly enjoying every second of it, and soon the Circle members were down.

Alec felt an uncharacteristic need to laugh. He also wanted to congratulate her. All words froze into his throat when he saw the look on her face. “What’s wrong?”

Izzy appeared terrifyingly heartbroken. “Magnus... He held the Sword to destroy it.” She didn’t need to clarify. They all knew what the item was capable of.

Alec felt like the ground was crumbling under his feet. “Oh, god...” He only just found the courage to fight for what he wanted. They only just had their first kiss, his first kiss. Magnus couldn’t be...! “Where is he?”

He barely managed to hold himself still long enough for Izzy to answer. “Alec...!” his father called out. He wasn’t listening.

When Alec hurried out of the room Robert moved to follow. Izzy, who’d always been her daddy’s little girl, stopped him. She’d never looked at him the way she did then, and he hoped that she never would again. “No”, she hissed. Her eyes were fierce even with the moisture filling them. “Alec is going to say goodbye to the man he loves. And you’re not going to interfere. You’re not going to make this day from hell even worse.”

Robert experienced far too many emotions just then. His mind locked on one particular detail. “So Alec... does love Magnus?” He’d suspected it, of course, but to have it confirmed...

“You have no idea what true love is, do you?” Izzy’s gaze became almost pitying before hardening. “Alec is losing his only chance to experience it because of a snowball that started running from trying to fix our family’s so-called honor. And I have no idea if I can ever forgive you for that.”

/

With the fighting coming to an end inside and outside the Institute, Mikael took some time to interrogate the man who claimed to be Sebastian. “You went through a lot of trouble. And I’ll admit that you’re a brilliant actor.” He tilted his head, watching the stranger who wore a much too familiar face. “But did you honestly imagine that no one would figure you out?”

The other shrugged. “His own cousin didn’t.” It was the first time since the arrest the stranger spoke. “I always knew that there was a great risk I’d get caught. I was hoping to complete my plan first.”

Mikael’s eyebrow rose. They were getting close to the big question. “And what, exactly, was your plan?”

“Valentine cursed me with demon blood before I was even born. Then sent me to hell because he couldn’t stand the sight of his little scientific experiment.” The man’s eyes flashed. “My plan... was to send him to Edom, to be tortured by Lilith the same way she tormented me.”

Slowly yet surely pieces began to click together in Mikael’s head. But the conclusions didn’t make sense. “Jace is...”

“... another little scientific experiment of Valentine’s. The difference is that he actually chose to keep that golden, angelic version.” The man didn’t even try to disguise his bitterness. “I’m the real Jonathan Morgenstern. Valentine lied. A shocker, isn’t it?”

Mikael and the other Shadowhunter overseeing the interrogation, Andrew Underhill, stared. Andrew found his voice first. “Well. I guess now we know that the new truth-serum works like magic.”

It was a very tense session. Which was why all three men stiffened when someone banged frantically on the window separating them from the hallway. A frown appeared to Mikael’s face as he saw who the arrival was.

“Simon?” he inquired as soon as he’d left the room. Something was obviously wrong. “What’s going on?”

/

Alec ran, as fast as his feet could possibly carry him. He felt the same kind of breathlessness he always experienced in Magnus’ presence. This time it wasn’t the good, romantic kind. His lungs were crushed by the type of fear he’d never known before.

Time moved in odd patterns. First unnaturally quickly. Then, as he reached the actual scene, everything slowed down.

Jace was sitting beside a dead-looking Valentine, pale and visibly shaken. Alec’s attention was, however, stolen almost immediately by Magnus, who seemed to be barely conscious on the floor. Clary and Catarina had kept him company, both women in tears. The female warlock noticed him first. Her eyes were full of grief while she answered his unspoken question with a shake of a head. This time there’d be no magical solutions.

“Apparently his life is bound to Valentine’s. They’re both nearly gone”, Catarina explained quietly. “There’s nothing I can do.”

Alec’s entire body was stiff and cold while he moved closer still. He hardly noticed how the women moved out of the way when he eventually gathered Magnus to his arms. It was risking hurting the man further, but if these were the final moments they’d have together...

Magnus didn’t seem to mind. The man struggled for a while to embrace him back, but ended up unleashing a whimper of frustration upon lacking the strength. “... sorry ... I’m so sorry, I tried...” The rest didn’t make it past the dying warlock’s lips.

All of a sudden so much made far too much sense to Alec. Moisture gathered to his eyes. “This... This is why you started to push me away, right?”

Magnus nodded with great effort, sad and in pain. “... tried to protect you... from the pain... After.” Well, keeping him at arm’s length didn’t exactly work, did it? “... sorry ...”

Alec shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. I’m... I’m glad you came into my life.” He’d been so afraid of his feelings, of being what he truly was. But now... What did he have to lose if he’d lose Magnus? “I... I tried to fight back, too, at first”, he admitted hoarsely, barely audibly. “If I didn’t...” Maybe if he admitted his budding feelings to himself sooner things would’ve gone differently. Maybe then Magnus wouldn’t be dy...

“Alexander, shh...” A feeble hand brushed his cheek. It wasn’t until then he became aware of his tears. By then Magnus’ eyes were hazy and barely open. The warlock was too far gone to feel pain. “... ‘s okay... you’ll be okay... Let me go.”

/ _“Let me go.”_ /

Ice-cold horror struck through Alec when he realized that it was the second time he heard the older man say those words that day. Now... Now he finally understood what they truly meant.

But how was he supposed to let go when he wanted to hold on from the bottom of his aching heart?

Alec wanted to beg Magnus to hang on, to stay with him. But he didn’t have enough breath for those words. Instead he pressed his lips against the warlock’s, sealing him to a gentle, desperate kiss that tasted of salt and goodbyes.

For a second or two Magnus was surprised, then responded with all the life left in him. But it was doomed to end soon. The weaker Magnus grew, the harder Alec held on for them both. Until it got too painful and he ran out of breath.

“Magnus, I...” Alec gasped and leaned his forehead against the smaller man’s. “I love you”, he whispered in the other’s ear. He didn’t know when, exactly, he started falling. Maybe the moment they first saw each other.

It hardly mattered now, because what could’ve been was ending.

It was impossible to tell if Magnus heard his confession. The body in his hold was still. In the safety of his embrace the warlock had inhaled his final breath.

Alec, mercifully or perhaps cruelly, hadn’t realized as much just yet. By the time Mikael and Simon burst in the archer still held Magnus as though his whole world was in his arms. The young Shadowhunter was whispering barely audibly. “... love you ... stay with me ...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, man, I’m a monster... This is going to CRUSH Alec. (whimpers) I don’t want to even imagine how much you hate me right now...! Okay, hands up. Whose heart is bleeding for these two? Is there ANY chance for a happy ending?
> 
> Let me hear it, I can take it! Comments, rants? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! It ALWAYS means the world to me.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that you’ll all stay tuned for that one.
> 
> Take care, of yourselves and all the Alec and Magnuses of the world – and for crying out loud, better care than I do...!


	12. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle against Valentine has been won at a horrible price. While those closest to Magnus mourn a couple of people face the consequences of their actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s right! I’ve come out of my hiding place to update again. Hopefully I was a little less cruel this time...
> 
> Holy...! The previous chapter touched you, didn’t it? THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for those AMAZING comments, love and support. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, folks. This chapter will include some painful bits, but also something you’ll hopefully find satisfying. I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride!

The news of Valentine’s demise and the Circle’s fall spread across the battle zone quickly. Great many rejoiced, relieved beyond all belief that the threat of a new war was gone and Downworld was safe. Some were far more reluctant to celebrate. Because they knew that the greatest victories were always bought with the highest price.

Many good people had been lost in the heat of the battle, Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike. Those who’d been injured received appropriate care, regardless of their race. No one was to be discriminated after they’d fought together.

Once the shock began to fade one question crossed several people’s minds. What happened to the Sword? Why didn’t Valentine use his greatest asset?

Raphael was relieved that almost everyone from his clan survived. But he could feel, somewhere deep inside, that something was wrong. His fears were confirmed when Simon made his way to him. Grief was loud and clear on the younger vampire’s face. “There’s... Something really... really bad happened.”

/

Slowly yet surely a quietly murmuring crowd began to gather where Alec still had Magnus’ body in his arms. The Shadowhunter didn’t notice the audience. He kept his eyes firmly closed because that way he could keep pretending a little longer. How was he supposed to let go when he only just found the courage to pursue what he wanted?

He needed more time.

Unfortunately the brutal reality wasn’t about to show mercy. He tensed up as a gentle, cautious hand was laid on his shoulder. Much of the agony tearing him apart was reflected in Mikael’s eyes. “Let’s get him away from here”, the older man suggested quietly.

Alec nodded, his throat far too tight for words.

Mikael offered to help carry Magnus but accepted defeat when Alec refused pleadingly. If he’d never get to hold the warlock again, he was going to make the most of it. No matter how much it hurt.

No one, Clary included, moved to follow while Catarina led the brothers towards a far quieter area of the building. Everyone seemed to understand and respect that they needed to say their goodbyes in privacy.

Well, almost everyone respected it. Entering the autopsy room, all three tensed up when they found Robert waiting. The oldest Lightwood gave the late mage a sad glance before focusing his nearly desperate eyes on his sons. “I... I’m so sorry...!”

And in that moment many things made a sickening amount of sense. “Did you know about the connection between Magnus and Valentine before the wedding?” Alec’s voice shook from an emotional overload. Inwardly he begged, from the bottom of his already broken heart, that he’d be proven wrong. But the way his father’s expression morphed into one of vague horror and crushing guilt... “Simple question! Did you know what Valentine’s death would do to Magnus?”

Robert opened his mouth twice before managing to produce something audible. “I said that I’m sorry”, the man tried weakly. Like it was his only line of defense. Like ‘sorry’ would’ve brought the dead man the archer cradled back to life.

Alec felt like someone had pulled the rug from under his feet.

Robert saw his inner turmoil. “Alec...” A hand reached out towards him, but he jumped away from it like he’d been scalded. “Alec, please, try to understand...! My position is shaky as it is because of my past connections to the Circle. I couldn’t...”

Alec saw red. He’d never been in so much pain, and he’d never wanted to scream as badly. In the end he only managed to utter one sentence. “Get out.”

Grief filled Robert’s eyes. But at least this time the man knew better than to try touching him. “Be reasonable...!”

Alec snorted bitterly. A tear rolled down his cheek. He didn’t care. “Reasonable? The only person I’ll ever fall in love with is dead!”

“I didn’t know that you loved him!”

“But you knew that he was a living, breathing person! You knew that he was someone whose life was supposed to matter!” Alec couldn’t believe that he once looked up to the man in front of him, aspired to be just like him. Sought his approval desperately. “You stood by, and just... just let this happen. To you duty meant more than his life.” He breathed hard through his nose, his nostrils flaring. A couple of more tears crawled down his drastically paled skin. “If it was your life-force tied to Valentines’... Would you have done what Magnus did?” Of course he didn’t want his father dead. But would Robert have sacrificed as much as he expected Magnus to give?

Robert looked down. Only for a second, but it was enough to reveal the answer. “I told you that I’m sorry.”

“And I told you to get out”, Alec hissed. “So leave! Before I do something I may not even regret.”

Mikael decided to put an end to the fight before someone would’ve been punched. He grabbed Robert’s shoulder harshly. “Out”, he growled, all the hurt in his heart transferring easily to the tone. “Now!” He didn’t go on until the autopsy room’s doors closed behind him and Robert. “I lost a man I was falling in love with today. So whatever it is that you’re about to say... Make it good.”

“Do you want to make someone pay for what happened to Magnus?”

Inside the room Alec shook from far more than just rage. “You need to put him down”, Catarina beckoned softly. Understanding and grief coloring her tone. They both suffered a great loss that day. “I understand that you don’t want to, that it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done. But you need to, before you collapse.”

Alec shook his head fervently, because even the thought of letting go sickened him.

Catarina sighed. “A little while ago Magnus asked me to do him a favor if... something would happen to him. At the time I imagined that he was just worried about Valentine. But...” She trailed off when her voice broke. “... I think he was preparing himself for something like this.” She gathered herself for a long while. “He asked me to look after the warlock community. And you.”

Hearing that surprised Alec, made his shattered heart clench and soar all at once.

Catarina offered him a sad little smile, tears shining in her eyes. “He trusted me with the two things that were the most precious to him. And... I’m trying, my damned hardest. But you’ve gotta help me.”

She was right, it was the hardest thing Alec had ever done. But he did lay Magnus down, gently, gently. Seeing the serene look on the older man’s face made him feel better and worse at the same time. He hoped that Magnus found peace, wherever he was.

Catarina wiped her eyes. “I’ll give you a moment alone. I’ll be back to look after him soon.”

Alec paid barely any attention to her departure. Because the current center of his whole universe was right there in front of him. And he was supposed to say goodbye to it.

“Magnus, I... I’m so sorry...” _That I took too long. That I didn’t get to you before it was too late._ “But, please...!” He shook his head, a fresh set of tears pooling into his eyes. “I love you, and I’m... I’m not ready. I just found you. I can’t, not yet...! I need more time. Please...!”

No matter how many times he repeated those words, those pleas, Magnus remained still and lifeless.

(Alec didn’t notice Madzie, who watched him from where she was hiding under a desk.)

/

In the meantime Luke and Raphael both tensed up when the werewolf entered a room at the Institute where the vampire had retreated to be alone. For a few moments they sized up one another, before deciding that petty feuds had no place in a day like that. “I’m sorry”, Luke offered. “I’ve only heard rumors, but... I’ve understood that Magnus was important to you.”

Raphael nodded, unwilling to explain something that was private. “I keep reminding myself how much worse today could’ve ended”, the vampire admitted quietly instead. “Far more lives could’ve been lost because of Valentine’s war.”

They had to try taking this as a victory, bittersweet as it may be.

“So, now what?” Raphael inquired.

“Now...” Luke sighed heavily. “... we’ll have to do our best to maintain the peace Magnus died for.”

“Sounds like a good plan.” Peering over their shoulders, they found Meliorn standing by the room’s doorway. With a visibly shaken Catarina beside him. The Seelie’s face was far more solemn than usual. “There’s something you need to know. Let’s call this a Downworld meeting.”

/

Inquisitor Herondale felt no remorse over what she’d done. A monster was dead. She found justice for her son. If she was honest with herself, she would’ve been willing to pay a higher price for that accomplishment.

She should’ve taken into account that others might not share her view.

Imogen was already irritated when she entered the Institute’s monitor room. Her mood didn’t improve when she found Robert Lightwood, Jia Penhallow, several other Clave representatives and Andrew Underhill waiting. “What’s the meaning of this?”

No one spoke. Instead Andrew activated one of the monitors. Seconds later they saw footage of the meeting where Robert learned the truth of what she and the Seelie Queen did to Magnus. Her voice sounded callous even to her own ears.

“We have evidence of your direct involvement with a violation against the Accords. Should a trial deem you guilty, the consequences will be severe”, one of the officials, a large man of the Lightwood patriarch’s age, boomed. “This is your chance to defend yourself.”

Imogen shook her head. “I helped wipe out someone who deserved it. I don’t regret anything.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Mikael’s voice coming from behind her back made her jump. Fury burned in the man’s red, puffy eyes. “Warlocks chose Magnus as their leader because he’s beloved. And when they hear what you did... Pray to the angels that they’re more forgiving than you are.”

/

The Seelie Queen had been a ruler for a very long time. Long enough to lull herself into the illusion that no one could ever shake or question her absolute power over her people. She wasn’t able to lie but she’d gotten away with so much that at some point she’d started to imagine that she’d get away with anything.

Since the dawn of time arrogance has been the fastest way to one’s own downfall.

That day she came back from an emergency meeting between the remaining Downworld leaders. (She would’ve avoided it, but it was made adamantly clear that her presence was mandatory.) The sight she encountered made her frown. Her people seemed to be in the middle of an argument. A few, who were already reaching out for their weapons, were tense and visibly nervous. Those Seelies clearly knew that they’d lost the fight, because the other side Meliorn led was far bigger.

“What’s the meaning of this?” she demanded sharply.

Meliorn took a step closer to her, his eyes narrowing. Five others moved to stop him but their intentions were prevented quickly. “What you did to Magnus was a gross violation against the Accords. Such the Clave refuses to overlook, like they’ve overlooked far too many previous incidents.”

The Queen scoffed. She couldn't believe this insolence. “Since when have those people cared about the lives of Downworlders?”

“Since when did you stop caring?” Meliorn snapped back. He went on without giving her the chance to respond. “Do you have any idea how close we are to being in an open war with the warlocks? Even werewolves and vampires might get involved. A lot of people cared about Magnus and his death will have consequences.” The man she once scarred lifted his chin. “We will all face those consequences unless we hand you over to the Clave. So we voted. And a majority of us has decided that you will answer for your crime.”

The Queen’s eyes flashed. The nature around her stirred but didn’t quite answer her call. “That warlock made his own decision to die !” she hissed.

“Is that so?” The voice coming from behind her made her skin crawl. Even the nature shuddered. Several of the Seelies in front of her backed away, their eyes wide and full of terror. “Oh, don’t let me interrupt you. Do tell how my son chose to throw away his life after you tied his existence to that of a pathetic maniac’s.”

The Queen turned very slowly, like the pace would’ve spared her from the inevitable. Facing a pair of cat eyes, she felt something for the first time in her long life. Fear. "It wasn’t my intention to kill Magnus.” She just accepted it as a nearly inevitable outcome.

Asmodeus tilted his head. The Prince of Hell’s facial expression was deceitfully calm. His eyes spoke the truth. “I will enjoy ending you more than I’ve enjoyed anything in a very long time. Your Highness.”

The Queen’s screams of agony echoed in the forest long after she was already gone.

/

It took a considerable amount of time before Catarina managed to return to the autopsy room. Even the thought that she’d have to process her best friend’s body was too much. But she wasn’t about to let him down.

As soon as she entered she did a double-take. Because the room had gotten rather crowded since she left it. Alec still sat beside the autopsy table, one hand caressing Magnus’ hair and face with the kind of gentleness she’d never seen before. Jace stood right beside his parabatai, clearly in a state of shock over the day’s events but determined to be there for his brother.

“I’m not leaving yet, Jace”, Alec announced with an edge of despair. “I’m... I’m not leaving him alone.”

“I know”, Jace reassured softly. “But, if it’s okay... We’ll wait with you.”

That was all the talking anyone did, despite the rather large amount of people present. Mikael occupied the autopsy table’s other side. The man stared at the room’s floor with glazed over eyes while his hand clutched at Magnus’. Leaning on Jace, Clary was crying openly. Izzy wasn’t faring much better at Alec’s other side, her hand resting on her brother’s shoulder. Simon stood next to her and the look on his face suggested that he might’ve shed a tear if he was still able to. Raphael had taken his place at one end of the table, hand placed close to the late warlock’s foot. Catarina had never seen a vampire appear as distraught as the two. Luke stood a subtle distance away, monitoring the whole display with sad eyes.

Catarina’s heart hurt even worse than before as she wondered if Magnus had any idea how much he meant to people, from several different races.

Her solemn thoughts were interrupted by Clary. “What... is that?” The young Shadowhunter’s voice wavered slightly, but there was new sharpness in her eyes. “Is that a rune?”

It was. A golden one, no less. It’d appeared to Magnus’ arm while they were all too distraught to notice. And it pulsated like it had a heartbeat of its own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man...! Is the sadness FINALLY coming to an end? Fingers crossed...! And who wants to hug Alec? (lifts both hands)
> 
> SOOOO... Was that ANY good, at all? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! It ALWAYS means the world to me.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	13. Angels and Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group decides to try something potentially disastrous in hopes of bringing Magnus back. Will it work? Someone sinister is also trying to get to Magnus...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been looking forward to getting to this chapter! Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing for the characters... (smirks evilly)
> 
> THANK YOU, a million times, for all your comments, listings and support! It feels amazing that you’re still sticking around after all this time. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay... Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.

The group stared at the mysterious rune’s constantly strengthening glow in bewilderment. It was very clearly demanding something. But what...?

Clary gasped, her eyes widening while her head whirred. “The angels... What if this is their way of saying that... that it’s not his time yet? Maybe they want to reward his sacrifice by giving him a second chance.”

“You mean... There may be a way to bring him back?” The edge in Alec’s voice reflected the concerns they all shared.

They knew that even if the rune was for that purpose, resurrection was highly volatile and often catastrophic. That no one had ever come back as the person they used to be. But this occasion was, apparently, blessed by the angels. Would the outcome be different? (Surely the angels hadn’t given a Downworlder a rune just for fun?) Were they honestly willing to play with something so dangerous?

Everyone’s eyes went to Alec, placing the weight of the world on his shoulders. Why did they expect him to be able to make a decision like this? It was incredibly difficult to breathe under the strain and thinking was impossible. In the end he stopped trying to think and reason at all. His hand tightened around Magnus’ unresponsive one.

/ _“Do what’s in your heart.”_ /

Alec’s heart chose to be selfish. He hoped dearly that come what may, Magnus would forgive him. “Do it”, he commanded hoarsely. “Try to replicate and activate it.” He hated himself for the selfishness. But he had to try...!

“Okay.” Clary’s tone was full of understanding, revealed that she shared the strain he felt. It comforted them both that they weren’t alone with the decision and its possible repercussions. “Alright, everyone, let go of him. I... I have no idea what’s going to happen.”

Reluctantly and with utmost care Alec placed Magnus’ hand to the warlock’s chest. Right above where a heart would hopefully soon be beating once more. Letting go hurt him physically, even if it was in hopes that the older man would soon be able to hold back.

Clary hesitated. Then got to work. They all held their breaths while the rune’s glow first intensified, then died out.

/

The Seelie Queen’s long reign ended to ashes. Which is the eventual fate of all living things. Asmodeus stared at what little was left of her with immense satisfaction. Then lifted his gaze, cat eyes still visible.

The remaining Seelies stared at him with varying levels of rage, hatred, fear and shock. None made a move to attack him. Even the fickle nature around him seemed to shy away. He smiled in a manner that was far from trustworthy. “Well. That was certainly satisfying.” His expression then transformed to something absolutely terrifying. “As much as saying this wounds my pride, I’ll need a little help to continue from here. So take me to my son. He needs me.”

One of the Seelie, from the small party of them which had supported the Queen until her bitter end, narrowed his eyes. “We will never help you!” the man hissed. And began to charge towards him.

Asmodeus clenched his jaw from irritation and snapped his fingers. The screaming attacker met the same fiery end as his queen. “Does anyone else here want to challenge me?” he snarled, his gaze daring anyone to try. No one moved. “Good. I imagined as much. Now, I’m not a particularly patient man. So take me to my son before I burn you all and this precious world of yours.”

/

From her hiding place under the table Madzie observed the morgue’s events. She’d seen the tears the young man called Alec cried. (She understood. She missed her nana so much that she cried sometimes, too.) She’d seen how the people gathered around the fallen man, one by one. (Someone who had so many people missing him had to be a good person. Valentine had his followers, but they didn’t do it because they would’ve cared about him. He wasn’t a good person, he tried to make her hurt others. That’s why she hid away.)

Everyone waited. Madzie found herself doing the same. Nothing happened, and grief took over the room once more. “Well, at least we tried”, someone sighed. The child made her decision, there.

Madzie had seen too much death. Too much loss. Today... Today she wanted to see life win. It was time to stop hiding.

“Nana showed me how to bring the dead back.” Her sudden appearance was met with startle. “Can I try to help him, too?” She really wanted to help someone who was a good person.

Madzie was far too young to read and understand the adults’ conflicted emotions. Nor did she hear the words they whispered and hissed at each other. She didn’t like it when grownups started to talk like that. Hated things being kept a secret.

Eventually Alec nodded. She decided immediately that she liked his eyes, terribly sad as they were at the moment. She also decided firmly that one day, she’d come up with the kind of a magic trick that’d make him smile. Because he seemed like a good person, too. “Okay. You’re Madzie, right? I’m Alec.” While she approached a little hesitantly his attention shifted to the kind-looking warlock woman whose eyes were almost as sad as his. Catarina, Madzie was fairly sure she’d been called. “This... won’t do her any harm, right?”

Catarina opened her mouth but someone else was faster. “Not if we help her.” There, at the room’s doorway, stood at least ten more warlocks. All of them with looks of determination on their faces. “Magnus... He was our leader, and he gave his life to protect us. If we can help him, we will.”

/

Alec was reluctant to leave Magnus’ side, but he still had enough reason left to understand that it was necessary. Jace’s supportive hand never left his shoulder while they stepped aside. The warlocks formed a circle, hand in hand, around where their late leader lay. Despite how dangerous what was about to happen might be, there was no fear on Madzie’s face. Either she’d seen something like this happen too many times or she was too young to be scared. Quite possibly both. She started to chant in Latin. In a manner of seconds blue light, such that looked a lot like Magnus’ magic, began to glow. It spread from one person to another, filled the room until it was nearly blinding.

The adult-looking warlocks gasped and Alec was tempted to wonder what they saw or experienced. By then they were chanting, too, echoing Madzie’s words. The archer let his own lips move as well. He hadn’t prayed often. But in that moment of despair he was willing to do anything to get his beloved back. He prayed that he hadn’t lost his chance for happiness when he just found the courage to fight for it.

The whole process seemed to take ages. Especially because Alec was once again holding his breath anxiously. Eventually all other warlocks except for Madzie slumped to their knees, panting hard. Alec still couldn’t breathe.

Because Magnus wasn’t breathing, didn’t open his eyes.

A solemn, dejected and incredibly heavy silence lingered. “Did it... Did it fail?” someone had the courage to ask. (Decades later Alec still had no idea who.)

Madzie shook her head with a frown on her face. “He’s there. I feel him, his heart is beating. But... He’s lost.” Resurrection could be a fickle thing. While Magnus was almost back in body, his soul... It was lost, somewhere out there between ‘here’ and ‘the other side’.

Clary sucked in a harsh breath. “That rune...! I know why it didn’t work before! It’s... It’s not for resurrection! It’s for binding two people together.”

Alec figured out what she came up with immediately. For once they were on the same page. “If you bind him and me together, do you think it could help him find his way back?” It was ironic that after his unwanted bond with Valentine led to Magnus’ demise they were planning on fighting back with a similar solution. (Angels seemed to have a strange sense of humor.)

Clary shrugged. Because of course there was no guarantee. “I... I have no idea. But... It’s our last option.”

“Alec, hang on! Just... Just wait for a second.” There was sheer terror in Jace’s eyes. “This is dangerous! Magnus, he’s almost... gone. What if...?”

“Do you honestly imagine that I could live with myself if I just left his soul wandering to some eternal limbo? Especially when it would be my fault since I was the one who decided that we’d try any of this?” Alec snapped. His eyes narrowed. “If this is the only way to bring him back, then this is what I have to do! I’m not giving up on him!” _I can’t lose him!_

He could see how little Jace liked him risking himself like this. But his parabatai also understood that there was no stopping him. So the blonde nodded tensely and offered no further arguments.

With some hesitation and worry Clary joined his hand with one of Magnus’ limp ones. The redhead paused before activating a similar rune on them both. “Are you absolutely sure? I don’t know what’s going to happen...”

Alec lifted his chin. He wasn’t about to back down. What doubts he might’ve had, the feel of his beloved’s already cool skin against his own erased them all. “Do it.”

Clary complied. There was a momentary sting, after which a surge of coldness went through Alec, followed almost immediately by something like a series of small electric shocks. He sucked in a harsh breath, wondering if this was going to end in a disaster, after all. Until soothing warmth, which was almost like a caress, filled every single cell of his being. It pulsated while making a nest deep within him, and soon his heart was beating in sync with it, rejoicing.

Quickly Alec realized what it was all about. Fresh tears filled his eyes and for once in his life he wasn’t ashamed of them. Nor did he try to fight back the beginning of a smile. “Magnus...!”

/

Robert Lightwood sat inside one of the Institute’s offices with his head buried into his hands. He imagined that the day couldn’t possibly get any worse. Until someone entered the room and he lifted his gaze see Maryse.

They’d been married for a long time. But he’d never seen the kind of a look on her face she wore in that very moment. “Long day”, he offered.

Maryse nodded sharply. “I’ve done a lot of thinking today. Especially after I saw Alec and Mikael when they were taking Magnus’ body to the morgue. They didn’t notice me, so I got a long, good look at their faces. And I realized that I’ve never seen you look at me with that love, nor have I ever felt that way about you.” She wiped her eyes. “Staying in a such a marriage for so long because of our children... That was my mistake. Turning my back on Alec when he came out, when he would’ve needed me the most... That was my mistake, too. One I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to earn forgiveness for.” Her brief laugh had a bitter and sad edge. “I actually believed, for a moment, that him loving another man is wrong. While my husband has cheated on me repeatedly. And dragged his bastard son to parade him in front of everyone, before willingly risking his life with a sham wedding.” She took several deep, steadying breaths. “While I may forgive myself one day... I will never, ever be able to forgive you. And I want a divorce.”

Robert opened his mouth. Despite the fact that he had no idea what he wanted to say. He never had to decide. Because just then a young Shadowhunter with wide eyes barged into the room. “We’re... We’re under attack!”

/

Magnus died. Of that he was absolutely certain. He was already drifting in the numb oblivion. Until something yanked him back. Or tried to, anyway.

It was very cold and a dark, where he ended up trapped. He couldn’t move or think. Until a bizarre sensation of warmth began to fill him. Starting from his heart and spreading to every little cell in his whole body. It was calling him back home. And his heart responded, even if he had no idea what was going on.

/

Alec felt a thud when the connection was finalized. Not a painful or unpleasant one. But something that reminded him of two pieces of a puzzle fitting together.

And soon Magnus was breathing, softly and effortlessly.

“Magnus?” he whispered. While one of his hands remained linked tightly with the warlock’s, the other caressed the man’s face. “Can you hear me?”

It clearly happened with a great deal of effort. But slowly, almost torturously so, Magnus’ eyelids began to flutter. Until they opened to reveal a pair of hazy, unglamoured cat eyes, looking up at him after wandering dazedly. Alec didn’t think that he’d ever seen anything quite so beautiful in his whole life.

Alec wouldn’t have been able to stop himself, no matter how hard he tried. He laughed, the sound coming from the bottom of his heart, while tears trickled to his cheeks. “There you are”, he managed. His relief lasted until it became apparent that Magnus was getting distressed. His brows furrowed while he tried to understand the anxiety in the golden orbs looking back at him. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Quite soon it hit him. Magnus was trying to say something. Gently, gently, Alec lifted the man’s upper body until the mage’s head was resting comfortably against his shoulder. The whisper that reached his ears was so quiet that it could’ve been easily ignored as a trick of his imagination. (Fortunately he knew better.) “... love you, too.”

Alec buried his face in Magnus’s shoulder. And all those emotions he’d spent so long bottling up and running away from... He released them all.

They got five minutes before the building's alarms went off.

/

Robert’s blood ran cold when he dashed out of the building and saw the attacker. Asmodeus stood outside the Institute in all his glory, angry red magic twirling around him. Five Shadowhunters lay dead around the Greater Demon. “Take me to my son...” The Prince of Hell pointed towards the bodies. “... or you will all share their fate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s right, folks! Magnus is BACK – and it looks like he heard Alec’s desperate little confession! (BEAMS) But oh man... Daddy dearest has arrived for a visit... (grimaces)
> 
> SOOOOO.... Thoughts? Comments? PLEASE, do let me heard from you! Every comment brightens my day.
> 
> Until next time, folks! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	14. Fathers, Sons and Daughters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asmodeus attacks and several people end up facing his wrath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrapping up this one took AGES. Which is ridiculous, considering that this isn’t among the story’s longest. BUT, this is quite possibly one of the most intense chapters. (gasps from the aftermath of typing)
> 
> THANK YOU, a thousand times, for your absolutely amazing comments, listings and love! You have NO IDEA how much it means to me that you’re all still sticking around. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay... Are you ready? Because it’s GO-TIME! And it WON’T be a smooth ride...

Magnus knew who was attacking the Institute almost immediately. Because he could feel his father’s vile presence, without a shadow of a doubt. And Asmodeus’ arrival always meant death and destruction.

Unless he’d stop it.

Magnus clenched his jaw. He still felt woozy and shaken, couldn’t quite understand how he was alive. But he had to move. “Send everyone a word that Asmodeus must not be approached. There’s no one here who can take him on and win.” He hated how raspy and weak his voice was, but it’d have to do. “He came here because of me. Only I can send him away.” He’d done it before.

“What? No!” Alec shook his head vehemently, sheer terror shining in his eyes. “I... I just got you back! I can’t lose you again!”

Magnus felt his eyes soften. “Alexander, you won’t lose me. I swear.” Very gently he took the younger man’s hand and led it to where his heart was beating once more. In perfect sync with his beloved’s. “It’s yours. I’m yours. And I’m not letting even a Prince of Hell come between us.”

“How can you be so sure that he won’t harm you?” It wasn’t until Mikael spoke they remembered that they had audience. “Asmodeus is one of the Greater Demons.”

Magnus felt sick to his stomach. He’d been dreading the day when he’d have to make this particular revelation. His jawline tightened while he lowered his gaze to avoid looking at anyone. “Because he’s my father.”

A shocked silence filled the room while everyone digested the news. “He’s here to take you to Edom”, Alec realized quietly. “Isn’t he?”

“Unless he’s come topside for a vacation”, Magnus attempted to joke but it fell flat. Not wanting to feel all the eyes on him and knowing that time was running out, he began to struggle up. Even if leaving the safety of Alec’s arms was the last thing he wanted to do. The second he tried to stay on his own feet the whole world spun.

“Hey, hey!” Alec was beside him in a flash to steady him. “Magnus, you can’t go out there like this! You can barely stand...!”

“I’m fine”, Magnus insisted. Because he was, he just had to find his balance. And quickly. “But if I don’t stop Asmodeus no one else in this building will be.”

Alec was about to say something. Simon was faster. “Izzy, where are you g...? Izzy!”

Izzy ran out of the room like a demon was chasing her. Which might actually not be far from the literal truth. Because she just heard through her ear-piece that Robert was facing Asmodeus alone.

/

Robert had encountered a lot of terrifying things over the course of his life. But while he stared at Asmodeus... He trembled. “Your son...?” And then it hit him. The man whose life he’d been far too willing to sacrifice – and who died for the sake of greater good... _Oh, god...!_ “Magnus... was your son?”

The past tense made Asmodeus' eyes flash. The demon took a threatening step closer to him. “I don’t know what game of being an idiot you are playing, Nephilim. But I’m not a patient man. Either you have information that is useful to me... or I will dispose of you.”

Robert swallowed thickly. “Magnus, he’s... I’m sorry, but you’re too late. He’s gone.”

Asmodeus lifted his hand and wiggled his fingers. While angry, red magic wrapped around Robert’s throat the Prince of Hell spoke. “He was my chosen son. Did you imagine that I wouldn’t feel him die?” The demon’s eyes became golden. “I’m fully aware of what was done to him and I will ensure that every single person responsible pays. And then I will take him home, where he belongs.” Asmodeus gestured with two fingers and Robert found himself getting dragged closer. (Black spots were already dancing in his line of vision.) “If you are of no use to me... then I will end you. Why should your life be worth anything more to me than my son’s life was to you?”

Robert was a Shadowhunter. If he was honest with himself, he’d lived longer than he ever expected to. Which meant that he’d thought about death more times than he would’ve cared to admit. This... wasn’t how he’d ever imagined it might happen.

Feebly, already nearly dead, he tried to fight back. But his movements were pathetic and sluggish. Lack of oxygen was getting to him. Soon he wouldn’t be able to feel anything anymore.

Guilt... Now that remained. Likely would until the bitter end.

He failed as a husband. He failed as a father. Now he’d never get the chance to redeem himself.

The snap of a whip barely managed to reach his foggy head. His daughter’s, his little girl’s voice... Now that did register. “... him go ...!”

Asmodeus seemed amused above all else while shifting his attention to Izzy. “Now isn’t this exciting. Another honorable Lightwood.” The man tilted his head. “Did you come to save your father? How touching. Now don’t glare at me. I will let you join him shortly.”

Robert didn’t have a lot of consciousness or breath left. But to his horror he realized belatedly that Izzy was being choked as well. “... leave her alone ... please ...” He’d already done too many unforgivable things. If he’d fail her, too...

“A child for a child. Isn’t that a fair trade?” Asmodeus smiled. “But don’t look so heartbroken. You won’t be around to see what I’ll do to her.”

One flick of a wrist, and Robert’s world became pitch-black.

/

Alec was absolutely terrified, even if he didn’t let any of it show.

By then he knew that his father had confronted Asmodeus and that the outcome didn’t seem good. Izzy, who was possibly even more reckless than her brothers, rushed over to help without pausing to think for a second. And now he was supposed to let Magnus risk himself, too.

Well, he wasn’t about to let Magnus go at it alone.

Mikael seemed equally determined. There was no jealousy or conflict between them while each of them occupied one side of Magnus. The warlock had forced himself properly to his feet as soon as Izzy rushed out, without a doubt to hurry after her. Magic worked wonders and by then, just minutes later, the man was marching on with his usual aura of confidence. Men on a mission, all three of them. Determined to save the Institute and protect those they cared about.

Alec shivered when all of a sudden a hand grabbed his and squeezed. He recognized Magnus’ touch immediately and held back with the force of despair. He lost the man he loved, felt the once again warm skin grow cold. He couldn’t go through that pain again, ever.

“We’ll save them, Alexander.” Magnus gave him a faint, supportive smile. (Alec wondered just how much fear was carefully hidden behind it.) “Your father and Isabelle... They’ll be alright.”

Alec wanted to point out that there was also another person he was worried about. But time never seemed to be on their side. Because just then they were close enough to see the horrendous view unfolding outside.

Robert lay on the ground, unmoving and with his back towards them. There was no telling if he was dead or alive. As Alec watched Asmodeus snapped his fingers and Izzy, who’d actually managed to cut the Prince of Hell’s cheek with her whip, whimpered. Then slumped down and didn’t get back up. Not sparing the fallen duo even a glance, the demon began to march towards the building’s main entrance. Assuming that there was no one inside who’d be able to stop him.

Magnus had told them all to stand back. To not engage, no matter what Asmodeus did or said to provoke them. All that evaporated to the wind when Alec saw what had been done to his family. And when he imagined how much more destruction the Greater Demon might cause.

Someone, possibly several someones, called out his name. Magnus’ hand reached out to stop him. But Alec was too fast. Too determined to do what pathetically little he could to protect his loved ones and the building that’d been his home all his life. He took a protective stance in front of Magnus as the Prince of Hell approached.

There was honest shock in Asmodeus’ eyes when they spotted Magnus. “My boy...” Very soon the demon’s nose wrinkled from disgust. “Your magic... What have these Shadowhunters done to you?”

The warlock, seeing what Alec was trying to do, kept his father’s attention on himself. “I don’t know what fool summoned you. But I’m almost sure that you’re here for me. Now you’ve seen me. So go back to the hole where I sent you.”

Asmodeus huffed irritably. “A father comes to save his son and take him back home... And this is how I’m greeted?”

Alec narrowed his eyes. Of course he knew that he didn’t stand a chance against a Greater Demon. But he’d do whatever it might take to keep the monster from dragging Magnus away with him.

“Home? Edom isn’t my home! It’s my worst nightmare!” Magnus countered in a tone Alec had never heard before.

From the corner of his eye Alec observed how Catarina, Jace, Simon and Clary inched closer to Robert and Izzy. Beside him and Magnus Mikael was about to take a battle stance. Asmodeus was aware of all that but showed very little care. Chillingly familiar cat eyes glared at Magnus, who tensed up a little further with each passing second. “You are royal! And I have let you forget your place for too long”, the demon growled. “This terrestrial nonsense ends now, it was already the death of you!”

Magnus’ eyes hardened. Refusing to hide, the man took a stand right beside Alec. “My place... is here. With people who actually care about me.”

Asmodeus snorted. “People like these care briefly, Magnus. Then you are all alone again. A blink of an eye... A snap of fingers... And they’re gone.” Red magic coated one of the Prince of Hell’s hands. “Didn’t I already teach you that?” The hand moved between Alec and Mikael, as though seeking something. It was revealed what when it stopped at the slightest twitch from Magnus as the red was pointed at Alec. “Do not get attached to your pets, my boy.”

Magnus was fast. Asmodeus was faster. Alec was the fastest. The warlock wrapped his arms around the archer and pulled him close, then spun them around. Alec used his foot to counter the motion, twisting them so that he was once more taking the brunt of Asmodeus’ attack. (In a moment of bitter humor the Shadowhunter mused that it was the only graceful dance move he’d ever pulled.) “You promised”, he had just enough time to whisper. Then utter agony slammed at him.

The last thing Alec heard before darkness took over was Magnus’ scream.

/

Asmodeus watched with annoyance and vague boredom how the Shadowhunter slumped against Magnus. His son shuddered and screamed, then fell to his knees with the archer in his arms. “You were willing to die for a Nephilim?”

With utmost care Magnus lay Alec down. Then straightened stiffly, his entire body trembling. Cat eyes, identical to his, glared at him with a promise of death. “I doubt you’ve ever found anything you’d considered worth dying for. Funny, really. Since death and torture are all you understand.”

Asmodeus looked at his son. At the magic swirling around Magnus, which was still blue but held new, unnatural brightness. He wrinkled his nose in disgust and disappointment for the second time since his arrival. “So your magic has an angelic touch, now?” Which explained why he hadn’t felt his son coming back to life. “These Nephilim have corrupted you.”

“Do you really imagine that they were the ones to do so?” Magnus lifted his chin. “All my life your shadow has haunted me. The things you taught me... The things you made me do... You lied to me, manipulated me. You tried to turn me into the kind of a monster you are. But not anymore. Because I’ve finally realized that I don’t owe you anything. And from this day forward... You won’t have power over me.”

Asmodeus rolled his eyes, irritated and perhaps a little affronted. “I came here to save you and take you home. And you insult me?”

“I found a home”, Magnus hissed. “This is where I belong. And whatever it takes, I’m not letting you take it away from me. I’m not letting you take these people away from me.”

“We are royal!” Asmodeus snarled, his voice booming across the whole area around them. “You are meant to rule by my side! Together we can take over Edom!”

“I rather die again than spend an eternity like that!” Magnus roared back. “After hundreds of years I finally found a chance to be happy! And I’m not letting you take it away from me!”

Magic hissed and pulsated furiously while they both activated theirs. The question was... Which one of them would be faster this time?

They both moved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooooly dang, that escalated quickly. (sweatdrops) Can this have a happy ending? How will the confrontation with Asmodeus end?
> 
> AND, how much do you hate me...? Thoughts, rants...? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! We’re almost at the finish line, and hearing from you means the WORLD to me as I prepare myself for unleashing the conclusion.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there. Now, excuse me as I run to hide...
> 
> Take care!


	15. The Battle Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle ends. Will Alec and Magnus get the happy ending they deserve?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m SO SORRY that it took me this long to wrap up this chapter! I’ve been a bit busy. And my head... wasn’t in the greatest place for a while. BUT, here I am. Have you missed this story? (smiles shyly)
> 
> THANK YOU, so much, for all your comments, listings and love! You gave me the boost I needed to get back to this story. So thank you! (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, because you’ve already waited too long... Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.

There’s a good reason why pride is one of the deadly sins. If it’s allowed to fester, it can take down even the mightiest ones. Someone who’d lived for centuries upon centuries should’ve seen enough to know as much.

Asmodeus had been able to bend and break Magnus to his will so many times that at some point he stopped preparing himself for a different outcome. Magnus was his, born to rule Edom beside him. Because it was their true home, theirs to take.

Asmodeus never anticipated that Magnus might find a home somewhere else – until magic wrapped around him and brought him to his knees.

Rage and sadness were visible in Magnus’ cat eyes while his son glared at him. “I don’t want to do this”, his son practically snarled. “But I finally see that for as long as you’re around you’ll never allow me to be truly happy. No one I care about will be safe.”

“Banish me...”, Asmodeus hissed. It was hard to talk with one of the magical ropes wrapped around his neck. “... and I’ll keep coming back for you.”

“I know.” Magnus sounded eerily calm. “So I’m sending you where there’s no coming back from. Even for you.”

At that moment the Greater Demon finally understood. He would’ve been proud of Magnus if he wasn’t so outraged. He fought, trashed with all his might. But it was too late.

Magnus lifted his chin. It was impossible to tell if the warlock noticed the lone tear traveling down his cheek. “Goodbye, father.”

Those were the last words Asmodeus ever heard.

/

Sending Asmodeus to the limbo was harder than it should’ve been. The demon did conceive and raise him, after all. But for Alec, and everyone else he’d grown to care about, Magnus would’ve done it a thousand times over.

Magnus was in pain, exhausted and the whole world spun in front of his eyes. It would’ve been tempting to just stop for a second to catch his breath. But there was no time for that. Because Alec still lay where Magnus left him, unmoving.

Mikael gave him a sad look when he dashed to the scene. “He’s... Magnus, I don’t think he has a lot of time left.”

No injury could’ve hurt worse than those words. They nearly made Magnus crumble. Until he sensed something beyond bizarre. His magic, what little of it he had left at the moment... It held on to Alec. Just like the Shadowhunter pulled him back after his death. They were bonded together, after all.

Perhaps it was fool’s hope. But it was hope all the same. And Magnus wasn’t any readier to lose Alec than the archer had been to lose him. Especially when he could still feel a faint but stubborn shimmer of the other’s lifeforce.

Magnus closed his eyes and focused with all his might. Anchored his entire being on the new connection between them. And hoped, with his whole heart, that it was enough. “Alexander, I know that you can hear me. Do you know when I started falling in love with you?” He smiled faintly at the memory, trying to ignore how cold the Shadowhunter felt in his arms. “When you helped me save Luke. When I realized how big and open your heart actually is, no matter how much you tried to pretend otherwise. I felt you, and I knew immediately that you’re someone exceptional. Someone who had the power to tear me to pieces because I’d let you. And I’m not letting you go, not like this.” He tightened his hold on the other’s limp hand. “So take my strength, as much as you need. Because I didn’t come back for you just to lose you.”

For a mighty while nothing happened. Magnus was already losing hope when their bond reacted properly. It was a small, cautious tug. Warmth that came from someone else.

And in that moment they became officially one.

Magnus had never faced such love. What Alec’s heart felt for him was stronger and purer than anything he’d known. He didn’t believe he deserved it, but he had it all the same. And it was the greatest treasure he’d ever been given. He hoped dearly that the young man experienced every little bit of his adoration in return.

Magnus didn’t realize how much energy he was giving away until his already faltering consciousness started to fade entirely. Truthfully, he didn’t even care how much he was losing. Because Alec was fully back.

Upon slipping into the dark he heard, very faintly, Mikael’s voice crying out his name.

/

The first thing Izzy saw was painfully bright sunlight. Then a blurry, dark shape that turned out to be a human face. Simon’s face. “Izzy?” the vampire called out with audible terror. “Are you okay?”

Dazed and confused, Izzy assessed herself. Her throat hurt horribly and breathing was harder than it should’ve been. Several parts of her also reported that she’d been tossed roughly. But all in all, considering that she stupidly faced a Greater Demon, she was doing shockingly well. “Yeah”, she croaked out. “Just sore.” Suddenly she realized something terrifying. The sun...! Fueled by fresh adrenaline, she began to scramble to a sitting position. “Simon, you have to...!” But, wait. The light didn’t actually have any impact on him, at all. Her eyes widened before dizziness made her blink sluggishly. “How...?”

Simon emitted a slightly hysterical chuckle. “I don’t know”, he admitted. “Looks like I’m a Daylighter, now.”

“We’ll celebrate that later.” Jace’s tone held a touching amount of raw concern. Had he been crying? “It... It took three warlocks to heal you, Iz.” ‘ _I don’t know what I would’ve done if I lost you_ ’ wasn’t something he would’ve ever uttered while they had audience. She heard it, anyway.

Izzy took her brother’s hand and squeezed it the best as she could. (‘ _You don’t have to find out._ ’) “I’m okay”, she swore softly.

“Let’s get you to the infirmary.” Gently and effortlessly, under Jace’s critical stare, Simon scooped her to his arms. “I want to make sure that you’re as alright as you say you are.”

Izzy wasn’t sure if she fell asleep or passed out. It didn’t matter. She felt safer than ever in her life.

/

When Alec woke up, slowly and with effort, it took frustratingly long before he realized that he was at the Institute’s infirmary. His last coherent memory was of himself trying to form a connection with Magnus. He gasped, struggling to open his eyes. “... ‘nus...”, he fought to call out.

“Shh... You’ll both be alright. So will Izzy and Robert. Calm down.” Catarina’s voice was almost as soothing as the words. Through blur he saw her standing right beside him. “You had some visitors while you slept. I asked them to come back later when their presence made you... feel uncomfortable.”

Alec frowned, confused. Which was when he started to feel something... new. Magic coursing under his skin. His eyes widened, his vision clearing quickly. He lifted his hand and shivered upon seeing a faint blue glow. “What...?”

“The bond between you two... It became deeper than any of us anticipated. Magnus ended up strengthening it still while saving you from the injuries Asmodeus caused.” Catarina appeared almost as baffled as he felt. “It seems you have an echo of his powers.”

Alec nodded slowly. This was all getting a bit too much for him to handle. “Is this permanent?” Did he and Magnus share magic, now? He had no idea how he felt about the matter.

“I doubt it. It already appears weaker than before.” Catarina’s face sobered. “The connection, however... It’s very much a permanent solution. And it seems to have some unforeseen consequences.”

Alec still wasn’t thinking quite clearly. But he caught on surprisingly quickly and his heart skipped a couple of beats. “Am I... immortal?”

“I’ve already ran some tests. Right now all signs point towards that direction, but it’s impossible to tell for sure yet.” Catarina gave him a look of sympathy. “I know that immortality isn’t something you want. If...”

"Let's... not talk about that now." No, Alec didn’t want to be immortal. But he wanted to lose the only person he’d ever fall in love with far less. At the moment all he could focus on was one thing. “Magnus... Where is he?” He wanted Magnus, wanted the comfort of his beloved in his arms. Anything else could wait.

It looked like he had all the time in the world to figure out everything, anyway...

Catarina seemed amused while nodding to his side. This time Alec’s heart skipped a beat pleasantly when he noticed that another hospital bed had been wheeled right beside his. In it slumbered Magnus, curled up on his side so that the warlock was facing him. The older man seemed exhausted but unharmed. It was almost enchanting to just watch Magnus’ chest rise and fall with deep, even breaths after seeing it go still.

“You’ve been sleeping for almost two full days. Magnus came close to waking up yesterday and you both lashed out magically until we brought you to the same room.” Catarina’s tone was fond. (It felt good to realize that she knew how much he adored her best friend and approved their relationship.) “He should be awake and coherent soon.”

Joy and eagerness bubbled in Alec’s stomach. He and Magnus needed to talk and sort things out. Beyond all else, though, they needed a chance to finally just be together. Without what seemed to be the whole universe tearing them apart at every turn.

For now, though, Alec could handle the wait. He shifted cautiously, not wanting to cause discomfort, and snuggled as close to the slumbering man as he could. Taking a calculated risk, he brushed a strand of hair off Magnus’ forehead gently. Then he took the man’s hand, finding instant comfort from its warmth. Still drowsy himself, he sighed deeply and closed his eyes with an expression of utter contentment on his face.

Possibly for the first time in his life, Alec went to sleep and dared to believe in the happy future he dreamed of.

/

Alec couldn’t possibly know that someone saw the whole display from outside the room. The past couple of days had been full of worry, chaos, heartache and paperwork. Seeing the man he’d started to fall for in someone else’s arms... It was more than Mikael could handle at the moment.

He left the Institute and walked. To end up to a bar. Why not, drinking until he’d forget and stop feeling seemed like a splendid idea.

He was downing his second drink when a third appeared in front of him. He frowned at the bartender. (Maia, wasn’t she?) “I didn’t order anything.” Yet.

“I did”, a familiar voice spoke. (It occurred to him that he liked it.) Andrew Underhill gave him a look of compassion. “It looks like you need another drink as badly as I do.”

“Thank you.” Mikael hesitated for a moment. “Do you... want to talk about it?”

Andrew grimaced. “Not really.” The younger man nodded towards a pool table. “How about a round or two of pool instead?”

Mikael found himself smiling. (Something about Andrew made it easy to smile around him.) “You’re full of great ideas.”

/

Magnus had no idea how long he’d been sleeping. Or unconscious, more likely. He was surprised to not wake up alone. Alec slept in a bed that’d been brought right next to his, alive and safe.

He sensed the presence of Ragnor’s ghost just before his friend spoke. “You’ve found a good one this time”, the other warlock praised with a wistful little smile. “The things that boy would do for you...!” Ragnor shook his head.

Magnus sighed and brushed Alec’s cheek. Fortunately the young archer didn’t even stir. “He’d die for me”, he murmured in wonder and horror. He wasn’t used to people caring about him like that.

“He almost did.” Ragnor held a small pause. “Instead he became immortal for you.”

Magnus shuddered. His blood ran cold. “What?” he choked out. He never, ever wanted to bestow that curse on the man he loved!

“But it wasn’t your choice to make. It was his”, Ragnor pointed out, as though having read his mind. “And he’ll always choose you, no matter what.”

Those words didn’t ease the weight sitting on Magnus’ heart while he stared at Alec’s face. So young and peaceful... “He’ll regret it”, he predicted glumly.

“No, he won’t. You’ll see. There’s a beautiful journey ahead of you two.” At his arched eyebrow Ragnor winked in a manner the man had definitely learned from him. Then went on. “You’ll just have to trust me on this.”

When Ragnor begged him to fight for Alec and the Shadowhunter’s love he didn’t. Because he didn’t think there was anything to fight for. Now he knew better. Magnus sighed heavily. “I’ve missed you”, he admitted sadly. “Will I see you again?”

Ragnor shook his head, proud and heartbroken. “No, at least for a very, very long time. You’re in safe hands. I can rest in peace, now.” Those words had barely been spoken before the ghost of his friend faded away.

Magnus wiped his eyes. Then, slowly, turned his attention back to Alec. What Ragnor once told him echoed in his head.

/ _“... everything in your power to fight for it ...”_ /

This time Magnus decided to listen. So he shifted just a little closer to Alec, would’ve taken the archer’s hand if he wouldn’t have worried about disturbing much needed rest. Right before sleep claimed him he vowed to not let go of what he’d spent hundreds of years dreaming of.

/

When Robert woke up it wasn’t to warmth and love surrounding him. Instead he faced three Clave officials. And he knew, his stomach knotting, exactly what was to come.

Mikael took a step forward, his eyes hard. “You must know why we’re here, so I think we can skip that part. As a result of her gross violation against the Accords, Inquisitor Herondale was dismissed from her duties and will be deruned tomorrow morning. She’ll also face a trial and will almost certainly be sent to the City of Bones for a while.”

Robert swallowed thickly. He only just woke up and didn’t quite know how he survived his encounter with Asmodeus. But his mind was clear enough to report that he was in a lot of trouble. “Will I be deruned and jailed as well?” His words were barely audible. The damage done to his throat wasn’t fully healed yet.

“You will be deruned, yes. But after the way you tried to defend the Institute against Asmodeus, you’ve been pardoned from having to face a trial.” Mikael’s eyes softened but only marginally. “You’ll lose your runes, but not your freedom. And you’re still welcome to any Institute and Idris afterwards.”

Robert nodded slowly. At the moment he felt far too much, from sadness, guilt and shock to relief, for any of it to register. He was just numb. “When is it done?”

“As soon as you’ve recovered.” A few more words were spoken. He didn’t pay any attention to them. Nor did he feel.

Until Robert realized that someone stayed in the room after the Clave officials had gone. Izzy, who still had some bruising around her neck but was in her own clothes, sat by the room’s door. She did her best to appear steel hard but there was pain in her eyes. (Agony he caused, he realized with misery.) “When they set the deruning date... Let me know.” She sounded almost as hoarse as he did.

Robert blinked once. That wasn’t what he expected to hear. “Why?”

Izzy met his gaze firmly, although it seemed to hurt. “I don’t want you to face it alone.” With that she got up stiffly, then left the room.

Robert stared at the door she walked through and burst into tears as soon as it closed.

Being deruned was less than he deserved. (He cheated on his wife, made Izzy hide the truth when she found out, endangered Mikael, turned his back on Alec after his son came out and caused Magnus’ death.) Besides, his true punishment... It was something else.

Robert almost died and his infirmary room was empty. His marriage was over. Alec would probably never speak to him again, nor would Jace and Mikael. Being around him seemed to cause Izzy, who’d always been daddy’s little girl, physical pain. How was he supposed to miss his runes when his mistakes cost him everything that truly mattered?

/

It was like they’d come to some sort of a silent agreement. Chances were that they felt each other waking up. Alec and Magnus opened their eyes simultaneously. Both smiled when they noticed that at some point of their rest they’d basically wrapped around each other.

“Is this real?” Magnus murmured.

Alec nodded and kissed his forehead.

At the moment neither was bothered by the fact that anyone could’ve walked in. They came so very close to losing each other permanently. Several times, in more ways than one. They came so very close to never having any of... this.

Eventually Magnus sighed. “I hate to ruin the mood, but... We need to talk.” About their relationship... About death and immortality... About where they’d go from here...

“I know”, Alec admitted. “But not yet.” The Shadowhunter hesitated. “Can I kiss you?”

Magnus nodded with a new smile. “Yes, Alexander. You can have as many kisses as you want.”

This time neither of them was dying or getting married to someone else. This kiss didn’t taste of heartbreak and despair. This one tasted only of love and hope.

/

No one had been allowed into the room, so they wouldn’t overwhelm the pair. But from the hallway Jace, Clary, Simon, Izzy and Maryse watched the two kiss. All of them smiling brightly. At some point gentle, blue magic surrounded the two men, as though cocooning them.

Fears and prejudices... The Clave... Valentine... Death... In the end love was stronger than all that.

“We won”, Clary murmured.

“Yeah.” Jace took her hand, slowly and almost shyly. “We did.”

/

Inside the room Alec and Magnus had no clue of their audience while the kiss ended and they rested their foreheads together.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

At the moment that was all that mattered – they had all the time in the world to figure out everything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaw! They got their happy ending. (smiles) Riiiiiiiiiiight?
> 
> Would you like to read an epilogue for this story? Because I feel tempted to type one. (Perhaps with the echo of wedding beeeeeeeeells...) AND, was this chapter worth the wait? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Your comments ALWAYS make my day. And THANK YOU, for sticking around for this long!
> 
> Perhaps until next time? If I post the epilogue, I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	16. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year passes by. Where does it take Alec and Magnus? On the anniversary of Valentine's defeat a big step is taken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to go ahead with the epilogue, especially when you seemed to really want it. (grins) Yay?
> 
> THANK YOU, a thousand times, for all your comments, listings and love! You have no idea how much joy you bring to my old heart. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, are you ready? Because here we go, once more! And yes, we’re headed towards a wedding, because we all deserve a wedding after everything we’ve gone through with this story. (I’ve kept some things similar to the show, but also added some original touches.)
> 
> (For some reason this chapter didn't upload properly when I tried for the first time. Here's hoping that a second attempt works.)

Robert Lightwood was deruned three weeks after Valentine and the Circle fell. Izzy sat beside him, pale and quiet, while the process began. Even before receiving a warning that it’d hurt, they knew to brace themselves for something horrible. Creating runes is always painful. Removing them... Now that’s a whole another level of agony.

At first Robert bit his teeth together and shook. But eventually he couldn’t hold it in any longer. Izzy grabbed his hand and held on so tightly that her knuckles turned white while he howled at the top of his lungs. Over and over again.

It seemed to last forever. The actual time was twenty minutes. When it was over Robert slumped to the bed he’d been sitting on, unconscious. While the two medics who’d been overseeing the event began to examine him, Izzy forced herself to let go of his hand. It was a mighty battle to not look back while she walked out of the room.

Alec was waiting for her in the hallway, from where he’d watched the whole thing through a window. Izzy melted to his arms, and broke down to sobs. “He... He was in so much pain”, she barely managed. “I get that he deserved this punishment, on a level of reason. But...” By then the usually steel hard woman was crying so hard that she couldn’t go on.

Ten minutes later, after they’d been assured that Robert would be alright, Izzy left the building perfectly composed. If someone noticed that her makeup was slightly smudged, they didn’t dare to point it out. Alec held himself together until he made it to Magnus’ apartment. There, in the warlock’s arms, he finally let the tears come. He might never forgive Robert. But the man was still his father, and seeing him suffer...

“Feeling better?” Magnus murmured after he’d let it all out.

Alec nodded. “Embarrassed, too, but... Yeah. Tha...”

Magnus interrupted him with a tender, loving kiss. “Alexander Gideon Lightwood. You never have to thank me for taking care of you.”

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Alec mused that it felt good to be taken care of by someone for the first time since his childhood.

/

Even the best of relationships aren’t perfect. Alec and Magnus were too similar and too different in a great number of ways. They lashed out and fought, spewed bitter words they regretted almost instantly. But they also found their way back to each other every single time, to continue fighting together instead of each other.

They had their first date a week after they were discharged from the Institute’s infirmary. It was an adorable, awkward mess. And they couldn’t wait for more. After date six and a lot of (over)thinking Alec decided that it was time to... take the next step. They started out clumsily but it turned out to be perfect. Four months into their relationship Alec asked Magnus if he could move in to the mage’s loft. They had their worst fight so far when the warlock wasn’t quite ready yet. When Alec asked again three weeks later, he received a different answer. Neither ended up regretting it. And the whole time their relationship continued to grow stronger.

They, mainly Magnus, managed to avoid the inevitable immortality talk for almost six months. It was dodged deviously easily when they had their new, budding relationship and professional duties to distract them. In the end a triple date and a movie chosen by Simon forced them to confront the shadow constantly tailing them.

When the death-scene of ‘Love Story’ filled the screen, Clary wiped away her tears and had Jace kiss away those she couldn’t. After whispering to each other the couple exchanged a proper kiss, one full of love. Simon caressed Izzy’s cheek when she claimed that she got something in her eye. While she was focused on other things pain filled the vampire’s face. Because he began to understand that one day in the future, the two of them would face a similar tragedy to the movie’s.

Alec and Magnus... They looked at each other. And realized that they needed to talk, at last.

“You... were pretty quiet on the way home”, Magnus opened when the loft’s door closed behind them. “Is there something on your mind?”

“The same thing that’s on your mind, too. I wasn’t the only one quiet.” Alec didn’t sound confrontational, only intensely determined. “Magnus... We have to talk about the whole immortality thing. We’ve been dancing around it long enough.”

Magnus snorted, his hands a little unsteady while he poured them both a drink. “Immortality thing... I suppose that’s one way to call it.”

“Stop that!” Alec controlled his nearly boiling temper with a deep breath. “Why is it impossible to have a rational discussion about this with you? We can talk about anything else...!”

“Because I’m terrified! And guilty!” Magnus froze at his own words, the drinks long since forgotten. He swallowed but it didn’t erase the bitter taste in his throat. “It’s... It’s my fault that you’re stuck with that horrible curse.” He closed his eyes. “You saw Camille. You saw what immortality can do to a person, what centuries upon centuries of life can do to one’s soul.”

“I also see you right now. Centuries haven’t corrupted you.” A pair of firm, safe arms wrapped around his waistline slowly. As though asking for a permission. When he relaxed marginally Alec went on. “Magnus, we may be immortal but we’re not invincible. I... I lost you, once, so I should know.” The younger man sniffled at the memory, then pushed himself forward. “There’s no knowing what the future brings. If we have days, months, years, decades or a lot more. If we actually get hundreds of years... I’m sure that we’ll both change and grow. Maybe we’ll grow apart. But I like to think that we’ll change together, helping and supporting one another. Because I’ve heard that that’s what couples are supposed to do.”

Magnus was so touched by those words that he had to compose him for a little while. He finally managed to open his eyes and night had fallen outside. “For someone as young as you, you’re incredibly wise”, he murmured and lay a hand on top of Alec’s.

“I’ve... met that warlock therapist whose card you gave me a few times. She’s helped me figure some things out.” The Shadowhunter leaned his chin on his shoulder. “I’d lie if I said that I don’t get scared and sad, sometimes, when I think about immortality. And what it brings. But... I have you to help me through it all, and I can’t imagine a better guide and teacher. If you’ll have me, I’d like to be the same for you, too.”

“Of course I’ll have you. For as long as you wish to give me.” Magnus blinked once, twice. “That... sounded awfully lot like a marriage proposal.”

Alec contemplated for a mighty while. “You know what? Maybe it was.” The archer let go. When Magnus spun around, dazed and disbelieving, he found the young man on one knee. “I... don’t even have a stupid ring yet, but... I know that over the past six months you’ve become my world. I... I know that I don’t always do a good job at showing it, but... I love you, more than anyone. For always bringing out the best in everyone around you, for truly seeing me and accepting me.” Alec blinked rapidly and swallowed. “Magnus Bane, will you marry me?”

Magnus felt so dizzy that he had hard time staying upright. The kind of joy and shock he felt... He’d never experienced anything similar before. A single tear ran down his cheek while he also fell on his knees and pulled his beloved to a passionate kiss. “Only if you’ll marry me, too”, he panted when they finally broke apart.

/

They almost forgot about the ring-thing with their lives becoming hectic once more. Until three weeks later Maryse came to their apartment for a dinner. Bearing a precious gift.

Just before they started dessert, she pulled out the Lightwood family-ring. Magnus’ eyes widened. “Maryse, it’s beautiful, but I can’t...!”

“Yes, you can. Because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to Alec. That alone proves that you’re already a part of this family.” As soon as the ring had been accepted Maryse embraced Magnus. “Thank you, for loving my boy.”

Alec was so choked up that he didn’t manage to utter a word when he hugged her, too.

/

Choosing the wedding date and place was surprisingly easy. The one-year anniversary of Valentine’s defeat was the perfect choice because of its symbolic value. And what more meaningful place could there have been than the Institute? (Even if Magnus was apprehensive at first.) It was time to show everyone that the world was changing, becoming more open for everyone. The Institute was also where their relationship truly began. Catering, music and decorations... They were nothing but details. The guest-list, especially one possible addition to it, turned out to be the tricky part.

Forgiving Robert was easily among the hardest things Alec had ever done. They didn’t see each other again until two months after the deruning and it took another month before they were able to talk properly. Alec was a realist and knew that their relationship would never be... ideal. But family had always meant the world to him. And despite everything, he wanted his own father to be there when he got married.

Before inviting him, however, Alec wanted to make sure that the rest of his family approved. Magnus, predictably, announced that he was more than happy to accept anything that made Alec happy. Maryse, Izzy and Jace responded with similar lines. Max had always been the one of the children who was the closest to Robert. He was also too young to understand the complex situation fully. Having his whole family together, even if only for a moment, was the boy’s dream come true.

Mikael, however, was a different story. To him Robert was someone who never even acknowledged his existence, before being fully ready to toss him into an arranged marriage and risk his life. Over the past year he and Alec had become something like friends. (He wasn’t too proud to admit that Mikael gradually starting to see Magnus as a dear friend instead of a potential romantic interest helped immensely.) The archer hated the idea of risking the progress.

Mikael was far more understanding than he’d dared to hope when he invited the man to his office. “You’ll only get married once, and you have every right to want both of your parents there. I’m a grown man. I can tolerate Robert being in the same space for a few hours.”

Alec came close to smiling. His eyebrow arched when Mikael’s phone received a message and the man’s whole face filled with adoration while he checked it. “Whoever that is... You should invite them to the wedding.”

Mikael blinked with surprise. Like someone waking up from a dream. “Why?”

“I may be younger than you, but trust me on this.” Alec’s features softened. “When someone brings that look on your face, go for it.”

Robert had opened a company that sold security services. He seemed understandably surprised when Alec entered his office two weeks before the wedding. “Alec, hey. What’s... the special occasion?”

Alec was uncertain before, but not anymore. Because his father’s eyes, bright and free of some invisible weight, proved how much he’d changed. “I know that you’ve heard about the wedding, and...” He held out an invitation. “I’d like you to be there.”

Robert stared at the card. So touched that he was close to tears. “It’d be an honor.”

/

On the morning of the wedding Magnus answered a knock on their door and smiled upon finding Maryse behind it. Mikael’s interference spared her from being deruned but even though her body stayed the same something changed fundamentally inside her. The process of patching things up with Alec was slow and careful. Accepting a warlock as her son’s boyfriend took longer. But eventually they found a common ground and had been something close to friends for months already. “Alec spent the night at the Institute, so he won’t see me before the wedding. He wanted that part of our special day to be traditional”, Magnus stated fondly.

“I know. I... didn’t come to meet him.” Maryse seemed hesitant, almost shy. “I... have a suggestion, and I understand completely if you say no.”

/

The massive room where the wedding took place was absolutely stunning. Of course, since Magnus had been in charge of the decorations. But the best part, Alec decided, was seeing the people. Those who mattered the most to them, gathered to celebrate what had to be one of the happiest days of their lives. Noticing Jace and Izzy with their mates... Exchanging an embrace of forgiveness and a new, delicate start with his father... It was all even better than he’d hoped in his wildest dreams. Mikael holding hands with Andrew and smiling was also a pleasant surprise.

Then the ceremony began properly, and all Alec could see was Magnus.

Magnus had always been surreally beautiful in his eyes. That day... He was something beyond that, and Alec didn’t know what to do with himself. Having him walk down he isle with his mother made the sight even more spectacular. Especially when there were tears of pride and joy in Maryse’s eyes.

In the end Alec couldn’t control himself and dashed to his beloved when Magnus and Maryse were roughly fifteen steps away from the altar. His over-excitement made his future husband smile and several people giggled. Alec didn’t care. Because he locked lips with Magnus and the other’s taste was all he could focus on.

“You haven’t been given the permission to do that yet!” Jace teased while several others whooped.

Once the kiss ended Magnus and Maryse hugged, then whispered something to each other before the warlock focused on him again. The man licked his lips, pupils blown wide. “I take it you’re ready to get married?”

“Yes”, Alec affirmed. Without a shadow of a doubt. “I am.”

They completed their journey together, hand in hand. Catarina, Jace and Brother Zachariah all grinned at them when they stood at the altar. “So. Let’s begin.”

The vows were the easiest promises they’d ever given. “The love I have for you, is a love that knows no bounds.” Hadn’t they already proven that? “In times of joy as well as sadness, in sickness and in health...” They squeezed each other’s hands a little tighter at that. “I will love you as my equal, and protect you above all else.” Well, they were ready to die and live again for each other. They said the final words of the traditional vows together. “And when you soar, I will help you reach your greatest heights.”

Looking at each other, they realized that they had more to say. Alec went first, fearing that he’d lose his nerve. “Magnus, before I met you... I was sad, angry and lonely. And I believed that it was all I deserved to be. All I could ever be. Thank you, for showing me that I deserve more. Thank you, for helping me become who I was meant to be. Thank you, for loving me even though I’m far from perfect, for never even expecting me to be perfect. Thank you, for fighting for me.” He gave his husband’s hands a squeeze. “I’m yours forever.”

Magnus fought visibly to be able to speak. “Before I met you I’d had my heart closed for a century. I imagined that no one would ever wrench it open again. Then you came along, and... made it impossible to do anything but love you.” They pressed their foreheads together. “Thank you, for saving me. Thank you, for giving my life a purpose. Thank you, for proving to me that I can be loved, even if I may not deserve it. Thank you, for deciding that I’m worth the risk.” Magnus squeezed his hands. “I’m yours forever.”

Zachariah's smile was soft. “And now, it’s my utmost privilege to pronounce you two married. You may now kiss. Not that you’d seem to need my permission for it.”

They were at it before the sentence was completed.

/

The beautiful melody of ‘What a Wonderful World’ filled the room while Alec and Magnus got lost into their first dance as a married couple. There was a sea of people around them, but Alec didn’t feel shy and self-conscious. Magnus always helped him find his voice and his courage, whenever he faltered. That much was true even on their wedding day.

“I just stepped on your foot, didn’t I?”

“Perhaps.” Magnus gave his lips a peck. “But as long as I have you smiling like that, I don’t even notice.”

Alec smiled even more widely. How could he not? Once upon a time he imagined that he’d be unloved and miserable all his life. That his family, let alone the world, would never accept him for who he was. Now...

Now he was dancing with the love of his life, in the middle of the Institute. With Downworlders and Shadowhunters alike smiling at them in perfect harmony. He dared to take a risk for Magnus and they ended up becoming the symbol of something truly amazing.

Peace. Love. Hope. Acceptance.

Tonight, though... It wasn’t about changing the world they lived in. It was about just the two of them.

This was the start of their forever – and Alec couldn’t wait to see what it’d bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaw! How’s that for a happy ending? For everyone. (smiles)
> 
> Did you enjoy the epilogue? PLEASE, do let me know! Hearing from you ALWAYS makes my day.
> 
> And THANK YOU, for sticking with me and this story for so long! You’re awesome. (HUGS) Maybe I’ll see you again with some other project?
> 
> Take care!

**Author's Note:**

> Poor boys! This is going to get so messy… (winces) (And oh, yes, there's good reason why Magnus accepted the proposal, aside the obvious.)
> 
> So, what do you think? Would you like to read the rest of this story? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Every comment ALWAYS makes my day.
> 
> In any case, thank you so much for reading! And whoever knows. Maybe I’ll see you again?
> 
> Take care!


End file.
